Hard Lesson Learned :(

When I dropped this last night

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my heart sunk! I am blessed to be married to Ron as he didn’t yell or scream, he just said…it is life…we can deal with it.

At first I only thought, oh crap, no using my laptop while sitting on the couch…I am using the desktop provided and thankful I have access to it.

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as the day has progressed I have realized OH CRAP…all my financial records are on the lap top…that means all my tax information are on the computer!!! All my billing records for doctors, hospitals, credit cards, car and trailer, etc…are on the computer!!!!

I have been reassured by a couple of friends and our computer guru son that I will be able to get my information off the laptop…but first I need a new laptop to put the info on, I have to buy the

which our local Walmart does not carry (think small neighborhood Walmart not a Super Walmart so I will be ordering one from our trusty Amazon!! And that will all take time…

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which means I won’t be able to pay bills…heck all the information is on the computer!!!

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I will start printing up a monthly recap of our financial records so I have everything readily available for the next thing that comes my way…I am thinking like a power outage that lasts for more than a day or two, while spending time boondocking or camping on the beach…it’s called

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NOW though I have to be calm with myself and know that in the big scheme of things one week without access to my financials we will survive and I will just have to write some letters or make some phone calls once I have all the contact info again and explain why I am late…giving grace to myself and praying my creditors will do the same with me!

Life Continues…

What a week we have had…we made our trip to Midland, TX for Ron’s scheduled appointment with his oncologist and surgeon. Ron had been feeling some pulling in the area where he had had surgery and so you can imagine we had some concerns. We gladly report that Ron continues to be

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And we give God all the glory and thanks for good doctors and praying friends and family!!!

The Kidlets are on Spring Break this week. We had planned to go camping but with the Corona Virus and health situation that didn’t happen so we have changed up our plans. Thursday we started a new Chore Chart and the kids did great…they have daily chores like making their bed (we do too!) and cleaning up their bedrooms. And then there are chores that need to be done 3x a week so we chose Tuesday’s, Thursday’s and Saturday’s so we can keep Sunday for a family day. Fortunately the kidlets are still at the age where they like to help…hopefully they will keep that attitude for a long time!!!

Thursday afternoon while at the grocery store by myself I got a call that school is cancelled for the kidlets at least for the next week (we were surprised it hadn’t been cancelled yet) so we have done some extra planning for the kidlets with work packets for math, reading and writing (there are lots of free resources on the internet right now!!!) And we devised a “schedule” for next week. Fortunately the previous home parents at Meadows loved to do crafts…me not so much…but we have lots of craft projects we can do, board games to play, and dvd’s to watch.

Friday was a day of storms and lots of rain so no outside play but it is supposed to be sunny and warm next week and we have a great playground here at BBYR so we can do lots of PE!!! And with the kidlets home we will do some baking (math), organizing (more math and reading) and learning to make the best out of what life has…AND isn’t that what we all need to be doing…

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We ended our evening with some unexpected excitement at our place. We were listening to Neal McCoy https://www.facebook.com/pg/nealmccoymusic/ with his live concert and I started dancing in my chair and caught the cord of my laptop and sent it crashing to the floor…yep no more laptop ! Ron was so sweet and so nice to me…I think I expected him to yell but he didn’t … he said

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and I posted

POOP!! My foot got caught on the cord of my laptop and it hit the floor hard and shattered the screen!!!! POOP!!!

on my Facebook page!!!

I was encouraged when I got a couple of messages from friends on how to get my information from my laptop to put on a new one.

So that brings up a question…what is a good laptop. We don’t play games on it, we do use it for keeping track of our finances, online banking, writing etc. What do you think of refurbished laptops?

I guess this is all for today…our three kidlets are chatting in my ear, teenager is whining because she can’t go to Walmart with Ron and my watch is reminding me that I have been sedentary for awhile…

Oh that was the good news this week…I think I told y’all that I lost my watch somewhere here in the house…well Little Bit found it!!! It was caught between her nightstand and bed!!! Must have fallen off when I was tucking her in last week…and of course she found it after I just ordered a new one on Amazon that will be here next week…now I have to decide do I want to send the new one back or keep it as a spare…oh what to do, what to do????

So what would you do…keep the watch or send it back???

Looking for the Good!!!

My friend, Cindy Leffel posted the following on her Facebook page:

Well gang, let’s make a huge list of things we can still do!
We can still pray, talk on the phone, write letters, love one another, text, clean house, do yard work, go outside, walk, run, water sports, read, bake bread, bike, be thankful for silly things like Facebook…

in response to school closings, events being cancelled and the fear that is running rampant through many people’s minds…AND it made me stop and think again of the things I am thankful for:

~ a job where I get to love on kidlets and don’t have to work a second job
~ an 8 year old boy who loves baseball and being part of a team
~ a son who travels the world for his work being “grounded” for a bit who gets to be home with his wife and boys and be the hands on daddy he is
~ a granddaughter who turned 12 this past month!! She is a fighter and has come such a long way from the little 1 lb 15 oz baby girl!!! She is a voracious reader and loves to draw and play with her dog, cats and bunnies.
~ a son who loves to be a daddy and is not just a father ~ do you know the difference?
~ thankful my hubby was only bruised up when he fell over some bikes while unloading scrap stuff and not seriously hurt
~ that my boss only has Flu A and not the coronavirus
~ for sunshine…the sun is shining more and more each day
~ that I have gone two days without taking a nap!!!
~ having plenty of food and toilet paper in our home πŸ™‚

and the list goes on and on!!!

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What are you thankful for today?

Writing Prompt ~ March 9

I’m trying to find things to keep me busy…it’s not like I don’t have a To Do List a mile long…but who wants to do work when they can play??

So I did a google search for writing prompts…let’s write…is one thing I want to do each day and I’m not sure if everyone wants to read about the struggles of being a home parent to foster kids, listen to a mom complain about always being TIRED, or rambling so today I turned to my friend Google and found some different writing prompts.

Today’s is If you were to write a book, what would it be about?

That’s a good question because I do want to write a book. I would like to write a book about some of my life struggles so that maybe some of the pain I have had to deal with would/could help someone else. In fact, I wrote a story called Cycle of Pain, Cycle of Hope which was published in The Christian Leader in 1990. The story started out as a response to a comment that someone made to the editor that people who are abused should not go to their pastor…I was flabbergasted to say the least. IF someone who has struggled with either being an abuser or being abused CAN’t go to their pastor who the heck can they go to. And so I started a dialogue with the editor and he eventually asked me for my story. I wrote it not only in response to the comment to the person mentioned above but at the same time I submitted it in one of my English classes as an assignment. And to top it off I was paid $75 ~ that was the biggest surprise.

I have many topics that I would like to write about and have written in short story and poetry at different times in my life with the thought in the back of my head…some day I would write a book about the different situations I have dealt with, how I learned to deal with them and offer encouragement to others on those topics.

Some of the topics include depression – being asked “how does it feel to be in with all those crazies?,” “being told “if you had more faith you wouldn’t be depressed,” depression is for those who are weak; sexual abuse – the trauma of not being believed, how it almost cost me my marriage and my children; anger – displaced and for all the wrong reasons; parenting – it’s not easy being a mom; seeking help and being made to feel bad for asking for help; doubting your Christianity; and the list goes on and on!!

I have most of the journals I have written over the years…they sit in a trunk in my living room…I’ve thought of putting them on the computer and yet the task seems daunting and I ALSO WONDER what the heck do I do with all those journals…do I leave them for someone to dispose of after I die? do I transcribe them like I keep telling myself I want to ~ to use in the book I want to write.

I also would like to write some devotionals – sharing short stories about how the scriptures speak to me and lessons I have learned. I have one that I wrote called Walking the Dog, Walking with God – I shared it on a friend’s blog awhile back https://thisunexceptionallife.com/walking-the-dog-walking-with-god/ if you want to check it out.

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Question of the Day?
Would you like to write something to be published? If so, what would you write about?

2nd Question of the Day?
What do I do with all my journals?

Me Today

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If you know me, you know I have been struggling with exhaustion for the past four to six weeks. And I am still exhausted. I slept from 9:30p to 7:30a which is nine hours if you figure in the 1 hour time change. I went back to bed at 9:15 when Ron left with the five kidlets for Sunday School and church. I woke up at 11:30a so that is now 11+ hours of sleep today.

I got up, showered and dressed, put some eggs on to boil, made the kidlets lunch of PB & J, got Ron and two of the kidlets out the door for baseball & softball practice and here it is 1:30p and I’m having a hard time staying awake…

I don’t understand where the exhaustion is coming from. Or why I have it and I have been thinking back to the years I dealt with insomnia where I went for almost four years only getting 1 to 4 hours of sleep a night and functioning at full board as a wife, mom, HR office manager, sports mom, friend, co-hort…busy all the time, doing stuff with friends and family and kids and more of the same and here today I can barely keep myself awake.

I used to complain I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep now I am complaining I am sleeping WAY too much…is there a happy balance…I don’t know but I sure wish I could find it.

I want to say Sorry for grumbling and venting but I need to share my feelings with someone…and I know Ron is tired of my complaining that I’m tired and I’m sure the kidlets are tired of my complaining I’m tired…HECK I’m tired of complaining I’m tired.

I have upped my water intake till I pee more than I sleep πŸ™‚

I have taken the dog for a walk, thinking if I just force myself to get out and move I would have a bit more energy…isn’t that what they say…exercise and you will feel rejuvenated??

I think I will go and peel the eggs and then pick up my crocheting. The dress I made for Little Bit was just too big…in fact, it fit her sister and looks great with leggings…need to finish her hairband and then start a new dress for Little Bit and a headband to match and then I have 5 projects in my WIP pile (works in progress) and about 10 projects on the need/request list!!!

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So my question for the day ~
How or what do you do to counter exhaustion, full blown exhaustion???

Do You ever Wonder?

It has been a rough week for me…and as I reflect back on the week I keep asking myself why was this week so hard…IF I look at all the good things and there are many I wonder even more why has this week been so tough?

How has the week been tough…

  • I am exhausted…I can take two 2 hour naps a day and still sleep 8+ hours at night and still am exhausted.
  • I am struggling with not following through on things in a timely manner…so not me.
  • We are dealing with an issue with our kidlets that just doesn’t make sense to me.
  • I have one thought that keeps running over and over through my mind. I wake from a sound sleep thinking about this one thing. I prayed about it, rebuked Satan from my mind and yet the thought just keeps coming to my mind.

My life is filled with many blessings…

  • I am well loved by my husband.
  • I am surrounded by great friends who are my family.
  • I am for the most part, pretty healthy…my A1C dropped from 10.3 to 7.1 ~ and that is great news!!!
  • We are financially more stable than we have ever been in all of our married life.
  • We have great health insurance. My medications used to cost me $1500+ a month and now it is $74.99 a month!!! And I don’t have to skip meds any more.
  • We are starting to build friendships with people at the church we have attended for the last 10 months.
  • The pastor preaches great sermons each week and are so relevant to our lives in the here and now.
  • Our boys, Jamie & Brandon are well adjusted young men, are both married to wonderful women and have blessed us with the best grandchildren a Grammy could ever ask for.
  • We have many friends around the United States who are more family than friends.
  • And probably the most important thing is that we are loved and guided by Jesus each and every day of our lives.

And yet I am struggling. Struggling to feel peace in my heart. Struggling to feel like we are doing what the Lord would want us to be doing. Struggling to get my diabetes under control. Struggling to not rock the boat. Struggling to be a good example to and for our kidlets.

Struggling is hard and the want to just hide is strong yet it’s hard to hide when we have kids to take care of, errands to run, appointments to keep and life to live…so I struggle on the inside and then I see it ripple to the outside in my frustration over stupid things, over things I can’t control.

And then I think of something I have shared so many times…I need to learn to give the grace that I extend to others to myself.

So tonight I want to end the day focusing on a positive…the positive interaction with our girl, who struggles to be herself without coming across rude to others who told me tonight as I was tucking her into bed…Mama I love you, thank you for loving me even when I don’t do things right…OH Girl…if you only knew I am trying to be the Mama to you that I so wanted as a little girl. And then I silently say “thank you Jesus for giving me this opportunity to love these kidlets in the manner I always wanted to be loved.”