Month: February 2019

My heart is racing…so amazed at how God works in my life…

and how things can look and be so different from one day to the next,

or one season of life to another.

I remember being told

“Just Be!”

“Be Still”

“Rest, rest your body, rest your soul”

and how I didn’t even know how to

Just Be!!!

You would think 12 weeks home from work beginning with a bad, bad case of pneumonia I would have learned how to be still, to just be…

…that was Summer 2003

and oh, how I have struggled with learning to 

Just Be!!

This morning I am being told

Be Faithful,

Trust Me,

Just Be!!!

Yesterday I asked a friend

 and 

Keeping my focus on Christ is what brings me peace, let’s me 

just be!

The world, our lives are filled with chaos and confusion,

decisions to be made ~ are they the right ones?

Just REST in Christ…He is my peace!!!

Ali’s paraphrase:
For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, 

No matter the chaos in my life,

God is with me!!!

and

God’s love is always faithful!!!

And when my faith falters

He tells me

And as I was wrapping up my sweet time with the Lord

He shared

Thank you Lord for meeting right where I am this morning,

knowing I just need to rest in You,

just be…

just  do the things I am called to do…

serve others with a humble heart…

doesn’t mean I have to have lots of money…

just the desire to love one another!!!

What a blessing to have a day to reconnect with friends,

be ministered to in Word & song with other believers.

I know I miss going to church,

internet is just not the same!

Yesterday, my sweet hubby pulled a 30 hour shift 

with one short nap so I could go to Midland to

 and see our beautiful and much missed friends

Barbara Fairchild and Roy Morris

The hugs given and received warmed this heart so much.

And oh how the Lord ministered to my heart…

in song

the first song

Pastor Eddy was so welcoming as was every other person who came and introduced themselves to me…oh I could see me going to that precious little fellowship if it wasn’t 91 miles from where we live and we didn’t have to work 24/7!

But I still soaked it all in!!!

Thoughts & Scriptures from the service

Rest in Christ!!!

Rest in His Peace!!!

Christ is seen through the actions I take and the words I speak…

…Lord help me to be transparent and always God loving!!!

We will never  …

…. be good enough

…. be able to repent enough

…. be able to go back to what was…stop looking in the rear~view mirror; 

keep looking forward! (thanks Roy for the analogy to life)

…. start where you are, from this point forward

…. give those regrets to God once and for all!!!

…. stop going backwards…you can’t change the past

but you can go forward!!!

even sideways sometimes but always move towards where God leads!!!

and remember through it all

and there is never a hill too steep to climb 

because Jesus is with me always and always!!!

even in the dusty West Texas!!!

Encouraged ~ You Bet!!!

Loved ~ You Bet!!!

and so much more…stay tuned!!!

I also want to say a BIG thank you to those who wrote me here, on Facebook and through private messaging to keep writing!!!

Just remember what you are dealing with today

and

Wow!!

When you ask God a question,

be prepared for His answer!!!

I asked God how do I pray?

He said talk to me, grab a cup of coffee, visit with me like you do your friends

Read my word…it’s Me talking to you!

As I continued my quiet time 

the scriptures that seemed to jump off the page

Lord thank you for the reminders that you hear my cries

and joys…you celebrate with me and you hold me close.

To think about You, Your love

Your redeeming love for me

and

Oh how I learned about forgiveness…

not only seeking forgiveness for my own sins

but in also learning how to forgive those who had hurt me,

I need to seek forgiveness when I sin so that I can keep

my relationship right with the Lord.

And it always feels good when sin has happened

and the slate is wiped clean.

Sometimes I picture 

God has one of these

and my sins are written down

BUT when I seek his forgiveness,

change my ways,

He just wipes the slate clean

and I get to start over!!!!

Isn’t that awesome,

when we sin, we seek forgiveness

the slate is wiped clean!!!

and remembering to not sin again!!!

And then forgiving others!

I used to think I could never forgive certain people for certain things they had done to me, wronged me, hurt me

and then I realized forgiving them was not for them,

it was to wipe the slate clean in me

because when I was full of unforgiveness 

I was angry with a Capital A!!!

And I hurt myself but more importantly 

I hurt others

then I saw this verse,

who knows how many times I read it or heard it

but one day I owned it…

I sought forgiveness from those I hurt

(where I could)

and I forgave those who hurt me.

Did it happen over night or once and be done…

absolutely not…

there are still some days

I have to say to God, forgive me for taking that hurt back,

taking that forgiveness back,

help me to forgive each and every day.

One of the many things I learned was that it’s hard to be loving

towards others if one is always angry.

I want to love others

as Christ loves me.

Maybe it’s because I’m older

or maybe it’s because I finally understood,

people do some things because it’s the only thing they know,

and yes sometimes, people can just plain be mean

but deep down I 

think people want to love others

because all they really want is to be loved.

Then the question is raised

Does Forgiveness mean Forget?

Some people say yes;

I say sometimes…

I have forgiven my parents/step-parents for how 

they treated me but that doesn’t mean I will ever forget 

the bad things that were done or said to me.

Why…because I will never allow them to hurt my own children 

in that way.  That is my job, to protect my children from harm 

if at all possible so that is why I won’t forget.

How do you see Forgiveness and Forgetting? 

Before I continue I would like to address a question that someone asked me…why do I share what God is talking to me about, does it have to be made public…I write 

for me and to share who I am and what I deal with to be able to go back and read where I have been and where I am at and where I am headed.

Especially with our current lifestyle..

we are isolated from people

except the drivers who come in and who probably don’t really care about talking to a woman…though we do talk about their kids and food, always food!!!

I chat with a few friends on Messenger or on the phone;

it’s the only way I can fellowship with others right now.

Yes, this is our life right now, 

yes, we have chosen this job for now and yet I have resources to communicate with others and sometimes Ron really gets tired of my chatting.  As he likes to say he can say whatever he needs to in 150 words or less where I need 10,000 words …

so I write…

if you don’t want to know what I’m thinking,

or reading, or writing then don’t read my blog.

No one is forcing you!!!

I also write so that those who are important to me can know where I am at, where I am coming from, what I am thinking about, along with sharing memories of things we do and see, it’s a way to share us with our friends and family.

So again let me say,

read my blog if you want,

be my friend on Facebook if you want,

if you don’t then don’t!

So with that, and if you are still reading…

As I was walking out to get some meter numbers  this morning I was chatting with God about how I wished I knew how better to pray…it is something I have struggled with for years…not all the time but sometimes…sometimes I feel like God is sitting right next to me, never letting me go and other times I feel like I am begging Him to come near…and yes, I know HE is always with me…it’s just the dang feelings…

Yet once again, YOU met me right where I am…

You are always with me and if I stray you will welcome me home again!!!

And You love me just as I am

and though words don’t always come to me You know my heart

and thoughts!!

Thank you Lord for meeting me right where I am this morning!!!

And the reminders from You today…

Genesis 9:18~28

is full of reminders that we need to be aware of what we say because we never know who is listening or how our words will affect others.

Proverbs 27:17

To speak in love, no matter what!!!

and Proverbs 16:28

Gossiping is a BIG NO NO!!!

If you find yourself saying “I probably shouldn’t tell you this…”

Then don’t!!!

It’s so easy to share “a prayer request or concern…but really if God already knows about it, share the concern and prayer request with “Please join me in praying about a situation.”  No reason to give details!!!

and then

and

The question came to mind…

we are to love others as God has loved us,

we are to extend grace as He has extended to us

so how do we love those we know are openly/purposely sinning?

First off, we are not to judge one another,

that is God’s job!

In simple words I think we are to love the sinner not the sin.

Sometimes definitely easier said than done, yet we are still supposed to love.

Then the question comes, if we love the sinner are we then approving of their sin,

NO I don’t think so, we love the person, not the sin…

I think of myself, loving and caring for someone very dear and important to me who smoked and drank way more than I thought was right…I still love that person

but I don’t give him/her money as I don’t know if they he/she will buy cigarettes or booze but I can buy them food, pay one of their medical bills…I’m still loving on them just not helping them to sin.

This may be too simple of an explanation, but it’s what I think.  

What do you think?

Sometimes, like yesterday and today, I wish God would just come sit next to me on the couch or on the foot of my bed and tell me what to do…

I trust and believe this verse

but sometimes, okay lots of times I wish He would literally come and sit with me…

and though He physically didn’t sit next to me this morning,

He reassured me over and over this morning

And this sums it all up!!!

Lord you know what’s laying heavy on our hearts

and we come to you asking for you to be clear with us and to give us that 

Thank you for loving us just as we are!!!

Amen!!

In a little Bible study group I belong to one of the gals talked about Agape Love.  

And I realized I need to love myself with that same love…

sacrificial love…it’s not a feeling…it’s an action

God loves ME

He is not passive and 

I need to love myself

intentionally!!!

Without the  Lord walking beside me

I walk in vain.

I am not expected to do everything on my own

BUT

with God’s help

Lord thank you for loving me enough

to meet me right where I am today,

needing encouragement 

that I am lovable

just as I am

Yesterday was a hard day for me,

a day of coming to Jesus meeting again…

…about my health

and before I continue

I know…

but sometimes it’s hard to remember

not to be hard on myself.

I think back to a counseling session with Tom…

Awareness

+

Contact

=

Change

I found this…

I had a real hard time falling asleep last night,

my mind was having a hay day

of the things I know I  need to do

and sleep just would not come.

When sleep finally came

I had crazy dreams…

dreams of conflict and arguing

and sitting on Pastor C’s couch and crying,

seeing Marla T and asking

“why can’t I just change?”

“how come I don’t have enough will power to do things differently?”

When I turned on my laptop this morning

this was the verse/art for the day

I want to be like Job…facing the difficult things

without complaining or making excuses.

Yesterday is over, can’t change the fact I ate 3 donuts!!! It is what it is!!!

Spoke to Dr. S…need to see her in one month

A1C is 11!!!  Extremely high…causing some confusion as I have lost weight but A1C is out of control…I do make good food choices once in awhile, even a couple days in a row

but then I fall back and go for the donut or the Milky Way candy bar.

So I need to…

and

and remember

So for today

I have a plan…to…

drink my water,

eat a healthy breakfast,

make a healthy dinner for Ron & I

and to walk some extra steps when I check in trucks throughout the day.

Spend some time in the Word,

focus on the positive…

and look forward to the day,

bring a smile to a driver’s face

and try real hard to give myself the grace that I so easily give to others,

acknowledge I am not perfect,

and I have a second chance to make good food choices today.

Replace the negative feelings

with positive ones!!

and now NOT feeling so discouraged

BUT

encouraged!!!