Be Still…what???

My heart is racing…so amazed at how God works in my life…
and how things can look and be so different from one day to the next,
or one season of life to another.
I remember being told
“Just Be!”
“Be Still”
“Rest, rest your body, rest your soul”
and how I didn’t even know how to
Just Be!!!
You would think 12 weeks home from work beginning with a bad, bad case of pneumonia I would have learned how to be still, to just be…
…that was Summer 2003
and oh, how I have struggled with learning to 
Just Be!!
This morning I am being told
Be Faithful,
Trust Me,
Just Be!!!
Yesterday I asked a friend
Do you ever just wish you could sit down face to face, hand to hand, eye to eye with Jesus and say…just tell me specifically what you want me/us to do?

Yes, was her reply, almost every day!!!

Well today, God sat down with me and guided me through His word:
See, just trust Me, I have shown you how to live!!!

 and 
Keeping my focus on Christ is what brings me peace, let’s me 
just be!
The world, our lives are filled with chaos and confusion,
decisions to be made ~ are they the right ones?
Just REST in Christ…He is my peace!!!
Ali’s paraphrase:
For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, 
that HE would grow me, according to the riches of His glory…
that I, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to
comprehend with all the saints what is the breath and length and height 
and depth and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, 
that I may be filled up to all the fullness of God!!  Eph 3:14-19

By changing YOU to me/I and owning God’s word…He brings me peace!!

No matter the chaos in my life,
God is with me!!!
and
God’s love is always faithful!!!
And when my faith falters
He tells me
And as I was wrapping up my sweet time with the Lord
He shared
Be Still…
Trust,
Believe,
Never Alone,
Always Loved!!!

Thank you Lord for meeting right where I am this morning,
knowing I just need to rest in You,
just be…
just  do the things I am called to do…
serve others with a humble heart…
doesn’t mean I have to have lots of money…
just the desire to love one another!!!

God is Good…All the Time God is Good!

What a blessing to have a day to reconnect with friends,
be ministered to in Word & song with other believers.
I know I miss going to church,
internet is just not the same!
Yesterday, my sweet hubby pulled a 30 hour shift 
with one short nap so I could go to Midland to
 and see our beautiful and much missed friends
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Barbara Fairchild and Roy Morris
The hugs given and received warmed this heart so much.
And oh how the Lord ministered to my heart…
in song
the first song
Pastor Eddy was so welcoming as was every other person who came and introduced themselves to me…oh I could see me going to that precious little fellowship if it wasn’t 91 miles from where we live and we didn’t have to work 24/7!
But I still soaked it all in!!!
Thoughts & Scriptures from the service
Rest in Christ!!!
Rest in His Peace!!!
Christ is seen through the actions I take and the words I speak…
…Lord help me to be transparent and always God loving!!!
We will never  …
…. be good enough
…. be able to repent enough
…. be able to go back to what was…stop looking in the rear~view mirror; 
keep looking forward! (thanks Roy for the analogy to life)
…. start where you are, from this point forward
…. give those regrets to God once and for all!!!
…. stop going backwards…you can’t change the past
but you can go forward!!!
even sideways sometimes but always move towards where God leads!!!
and remember through it all
and there is never a hill too steep to climb 
because Jesus is with me always and always!!!
even in the dusty West Texas!!!
Encouraged ~ You Bet!!!
Loved ~ You Bet!!!
and so much more…stay tuned!!!
I also want to say a BIG thank you to those who wrote me here, on Facebook and through private messaging to keep writing!!!
Just remember what you are dealing with today
and

God, Me and Forgiveness

Wow!!
When you ask God a question,
be prepared for His answer!!!
I asked God how do I pray?
He said talk to me, grab a cup of coffee, visit with me like you do your friends
Read my word…it’s Me talking to you!
As I continued my quiet time 
the scriptures that seemed to jump off the page
Lord thank you for the reminders that you hear my cries
and joys…you celebrate with me and you hold me close.
To think about You, Your love
Your redeeming love for me
and
Oh how I learned about forgiveness…
not only seeking forgiveness for my own sins
but in also learning how to forgive those who had hurt me,
I need to seek forgiveness when I sin so that I can keep
my relationship right with the Lord.
And it always feels good when sin has happened
and the slate is wiped clean.
Sometimes I picture 
God has one of these
and my sins are written down
BUT when I seek his forgiveness,
change my ways,
He just wipes the slate clean
and I get to start over!!!!
Isn’t that awesome,
when we sin, we seek forgiveness
the slate is wiped clean!!!
and remembering to not sin again!!!
And then forgiving others!
I used to think I could never forgive certain people for certain things they had done to me, wronged me, hurt me
and then I realized forgiving them was not for them,
it was to wipe the slate clean in me
because when I was full of unforgiveness 
I was angry with a Capital A!!!
And I hurt myself but more importantly 
I hurt others
then I saw this verse,
who knows how many times I read it or heard it
but one day I owned it…
I sought forgiveness from those I hurt
(where I could)
and I forgave those who hurt me.
Did it happen over night or once and be done…
absolutely not…
there are still some days
I have to say to God, forgive me for taking that hurt back,
taking that forgiveness back,
help me to forgive each and every day.
One of the many things I learned was that it’s hard to be loving
towards others if one is always angry.
I want to love others
as Christ loves me.
Maybe it’s because I’m older
or maybe it’s because I finally understood,
people do some things because it’s the only thing they know,
and yes sometimes, people can just plain be mean
but deep down I 
think people want to love others
because all they really want is to be loved.
Then the question is raised
Does Forgiveness mean Forget?
Some people say yes;
I say sometimes…
I have forgiven my parents/step-parents for how 
they treated me but that doesn’t mean I will ever forget 
the bad things that were done or said to me.
Why…because I will never allow them to hurt my own children 
in that way.  That is my job, to protect my children from harm 
if at all possible so that is why I won’t forget.

How do you see Forgiveness and Forgetting? 

Speaking Out AND Oh Lord…YOU are so Good to ME!!!

Before I continue I would like to address a question that someone asked me…why do I share what God is talking to me about, does it have to be made public…I write 
for me and to share who I am and what I deal with to be able to go back and read where I have been and where I am at and where I am headed.
Especially with our current lifestyle..
we are isolated from people
except the drivers who come in and who probably don’t really care about talking to a woman…though we do talk about their kids and food, always food!!!
I chat with a few friends on Messenger or on the phone;
it’s the only way I can fellowship with others right now.
Yes, this is our life right now, 
yes, we have chosen this job for now and yet I have resources to communicate with others and sometimes Ron really gets tired of my chatting.  As he likes to say he can say whatever he needs to in 150 words or less where I need 10,000 words …
so I write…
if you don’t want to know what I’m thinking,
or reading, or writing then don’t read my blog.
No one is forcing you!!!
I also write so that those who are important to me can know where I am at, where I am coming from, what I am thinking about, along with sharing memories of things we do and see, it’s a way to share us with our friends and family.
So again let me say,
read my blog if you want,
be my friend on Facebook if you want,
if you don’t then don’t!
So with that, and if you are still reading…
As I was walking out to get some meter numbers  this morning I was chatting with God about how I wished I knew how better to pray…it is something I have struggled with for years…not all the time but sometimes…sometimes I feel like God is sitting right next to me, never letting me go and other times I feel like I am begging Him to come near…and yes, I know HE is always with me…it’s just the dang feelings…
Yet once again, YOU met me right where I am…
You are always with me and if I stray you will welcome me home again!!!
And You love me just as I am
and though words don’t always come to me You know my heart
and thoughts!!
Thank you Lord for meeting me right where I am this morning!!!
And the reminders from You today…
Genesis 9:18~28
is full of reminders that we need to be aware of what we say because we never know who is listening or how our words will affect others.
And yes, I know what I wrote/said above and again,
if you don’t want to hear what is on my mind,
then don’t.

And if you want to talk further about this 
I am open to discuss it with you.  I don’t believe the Lord is telling me to be quiet, He is telling me to be aware of what I say…
…is it truth?
Proverbs 27:17
To speak in love, no matter what!!!
and Proverbs 16:28
Gossiping is a BIG NO NO!!!
If you find yourself saying “I probably shouldn’t tell you this…”
Then don’t!!!
It’s so easy to share “a prayer request or concern…but really if God already knows about it, share the concern and prayer request with “Please join me in praying about a situation.”  No reason to give details!!!
and then
and
The question came to mind…
we are to love others as God has loved us,
we are to extend grace as He has extended to us
so how do we love those we know are openly/purposely sinning?
First off, we are not to judge one another,
that is God’s job!
In simple words I think we are to love the sinner not the sin.
Sometimes definitely easier said than done, yet we are still supposed to love.
Then the question comes, if we love the sinner are we then approving of their sin,
NO I don’t think so, we love the person, not the sin…
I think of myself, loving and caring for someone very dear and important to me who smoked and drank way more than I thought was right…I still love that person
but I don’t give him/her money as I don’t know if they he/she will buy cigarettes or booze but I can buy them food, pay one of their medical bills…I’m still loving on them just not helping them to sin.
This may be too simple of an explanation, but it’s what I think.  
What do you think?

Please God…

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Sometimes, like yesterday and today, I wish God would just come sit next to me on the couch or on the foot of my bed and tell me what to do…
I trust and believe this verse
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but sometimes, okay lots of times I wish He would literally come and sit with me…
and though He physically didn’t sit next to me this morning,
He reassured me over and over this morning
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And this sums it all up!!!
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Lord you know what’s laying heavy on our hearts
and we come to you asking for you to be clear with us and to give us that 
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Thank you for loving us just as we are!!!
Amen!!

Agape Love ~ Time with the Lord

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In a little Bible study group I belong to one of the gals talked about Agape Love.  
And I realized I need to love myself with that same love…
sacrificial love…it’s not a feeling…it’s an action
God loves ME
He is not passive and 
I need to love myself
intentionally!!!
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Without the  Lord walking beside me
I walk in vain.
I am not expected to do everything on my own
BUT
with God’s help

Lord thank you for loving me enough

to meet me right where I am today,
needing encouragement 
that I am lovable
just as I am
“Just As I Am”
Just as I am, without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bid’st me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come! I come!

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt;
Fightings and fears within without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, and waiting not 
to rid my soul of one dark blot, 
to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, 
O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind;
Yea, all I need, in Thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, Thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because Thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Because Thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Thank you Lord for loving me!!!

Feeling Discouraged …

Yesterday was a hard day for me,
a day of coming to Jesus meeting again…
…about my health
and before I continue
I know…
but sometimes it’s hard to remember
not to be hard on myself.
I think back to a counseling session with Tom…
Awareness
+
Contact
=
Change
I found this…
I had a real hard time falling asleep last night,
my mind was having a hay day
of the things I know I  need to do
and sleep just would not come.
When sleep finally came
I had crazy dreams…
dreams of conflict and arguing
and sitting on Pastor C’s couch and crying,
seeing Marla T and asking
“why can’t I just change?”
“how come I don’t have enough will power to do things differently?”
When I turned on my laptop this morning
this was the verse/art for the day
I want to be like Job…facing the difficult things
without complaining or making excuses.
Yesterday is over, can’t change the fact I ate 3 donuts!!! It is what it is!!!
Spoke to Dr. S…need to see her in one month
A1C is 11!!!  Extremely high…causing some confusion as I have lost weight but A1C is out of control…I do make good food choices once in awhile, even a couple days in a row
but then I fall back and go for the donut or the Milky Way candy bar.
So I need to…
and
and remember
So for today
I have a plan…to…
drink my water,
eat a healthy breakfast,
make a healthy dinner for Ron & I
and to walk some extra steps when I check in trucks throughout the day.
Spend some time in the Word,
focus on the positive…
and look forward to the day,
bring a smile to a driver’s face
and try real hard to give myself the grace that I so easily give to others,
acknowledge I am not perfect,
and I have a second chance to make good food choices today.
Replace the negative feelings
with positive ones!!
and now NOT feeling so discouraged
BUT
encouraged!!!