Spent some time with the Lord this morning before the rush of the day.
He is so Faithful to me and I am so Thankful to Him.
Yesterday we were blessed by one of the couples here in the campground
along with corn-on-the-cob and hush puppies dinner!!!
God is Faithful and provides for us. Dinner was delicious and a special treat as we had been busy in the office and painting in the apartment.
This morning, my scripture came from
Immediately my thoughts went to where my life was in the late 80’s and 90’s when I struggled with such bitterness, anger and hurt done to me by my parents and step-father.
And the lingering pain today that my sister, Joanie chooses not to have anything to do with me or my family. I have tried so hard to find out why she hates me so…but since she won’t talk to me, it’s kind of hard to find out. The last time I spoke with her was in Laughlin, NV when I saw her when our older sister, Kathy had passed away. I said hello and she said hi. When Ron and I were leaving I said Good-bye and she would not even look at me. Thinking about this makes my heart cry.
The truth of the abuse that was put on me as a child, teenager and even a young adult along with the hatred and hurt feelings that I felt towards my parents and confessing all that hurt to God has definitely set me free. And healed my heart from so much.
I am so thankful for a God who loves me through the thick and thin, who surrounded with me with a wonderful and caring pastor, a good ARNP who knew what combination of medication would get me through the hump of major depression, suicidal thoughts and anger bursting from the seams, along with a friend/counselor who sat with me for many hours, praying and crying with me, just listening and praying some more…who let me yell, cry and scream but most of all loved me through some horrible pain, and the best hubby any girl could ask for, who got way more trouble than he bargained for, two sons who love me and forgave me for the not so nice parenting I put on them at times, and for special friends who stood by me, encouraged me, told me never to hang up the phone on them ever again ~ and I haven’t 🙂
I am so very thankful for the love, forgiveness, care and support…there are not enough words to express my thoughts but there is still some pain when I think of my sister…our parents and grandparents are all gone, our older sister is no longer here either (taken from us at age 54…too young to die) and yet my heart craves for a relationship of friendship with my younger sister. I know she reads my blog, so once again I am reaching out…please tell me what I have done to hurt you so bad, please let’s heal this relationship before it is too late, and even if not for me for our sweet niece…we are her family and she needs us both.
I love you Joanie!!! Life is too short to let hurts from over 20, 30, 40 years ago keep us apart.
You know how to get a hold of me…as they say…the ball is in your court and it is time for you to take a shot. You have 2 beautiful nephews, with sweet loving wives and 5 beautiful and sweet great nieces and nephews who would love to be a part of your life and you a part of theirs.