AGAIN, God’s timing is perfect. This week is a season of change for many here at the ranch. Tension is high, stress is rampant, kidlets and HP’s feel it in the air. Yet God keeps reminding us that PEACE is the answer. Even with all the stressors there is Peace in our home, lots of laughter even among some tears. God continues to show us HIS love and we continue to show HIS love to our kidlets.
That’s me right now…I feel like my mind doesn’t stay focused and jumbles it way around the room or in this case my head and heart. A friend had posted one of those pictures with a zillion words and it said the first three you see is what/where you are.
My words were: Creation, Gratitude, Connection
Creation didn’t really resonate with me though I guess I am creating things being a House Parent…trying to create healthy and happy young people. Though right now two of our three kidlets are not happy little things: one is mad at me because I told them they needed to clean their bedroom and get rid of the garbage that keeps piling up in their room. Another one is mad at me because I called them in from outside to pick up all their toys and blankets which they had said they had already picked up. One is laying on the floor by the sliding glass door watching the mama bird feeding the little babies in their nest which is at the top center of our house eave.
So I ask myself…what am I creating? Not really sure of the answer to that question.
Gratitude…I try real hard to be thankful for the many blessings in my life. And there are many…a husband who is cancer free, a husband who loves and sometimes I wonder why??? Two healthy son’s, they are each married to wonderful women and between the two of them we have been blessed with five grandchildren.
I am thankful for our jobs, even on the hard days and lately there seems to be many of them. We have money to pay all our bills, to go to Sonics to get a slushy when we want one…just yesterday in fact and was I surprised when I ordered five of them and the bill was less that $5—didn’t know it was happy hour and it was buy one get one free!!! We have plenty of groceries and don’t worry about where the money will come from to buy more when we need it. We buy fresh fruit because we can, in fact we are having watermelon with our dinner this evening. There are so many things to be thankful for and I am reminded I am blessed beyond measure…I say that because I can’t list everything for which I am blessed…too many too count!!!
Connection…that jumped out at me because I am feeling a lack of connection. I don’t feel connected with friends…people I have known for many years and have lots in common but yet feeling so disconnected. With some family members…feeling like I have to watch what I say and how I say it lest I offend someone.
I shared with a friend the other day about how frustrated I am with Facebook right now…it seems everyone is looking for the negative, searching to find things to disagree over instead of loving and encouraging one another. And then I stop and look at myself…if I am seeing those things in others I am probably doing the same…and seeing the negative in things just tears me down, helps my depression to rear its ugly head and then I go down the slippery slope…maybe not as far as in years past but still down it a bit. And that’s not good for me or for anyone else for that matter.
I’m struggling with my grumpiness right now and when I hear one of my kidlets say “I’m not going to ask XXXX because I don’t want you to get mad.” I know my grumpiness is out of control. And that is not good. I am reminded of something that was shared with us many years ago when we worked at Astor House in Newberg, OR
And this is true for our kidlets…this is their home, we work in their home, we have our own home to go into…and my job is to make their home a happy and healthy place for them to live.
Oh how I needed this reminder today!!! Lord forgive me for being so grumpy with these precious little ones. Help me to love them the way you, Abba Father love me! Jesus you love the little children…help me to love them too!!!
What a hard night…little one sleep walking, another had a nightmare, then the State Inspector showed up just after midnight…makes for both a long and short night. Thankful that Ron got up the third time and also let me sleep in this morning.
I keep hearing about “when we get back to normal” “when we can do just what we want”…normal…what is normal. There have been many times I have used the phrase “new normal” throughout my life…when my parents divorced, being married, losing a child, major moves, death of a family member, before cancer and surviving cancer and now this pandemic…all changes. All leading up to “new normal” but what is normal???
What I know is normal is change and the only constant is
God is in control, always has been and always will be. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. And he will provide! He has always provided for us. We may have wondered where we were going to live, where we were going to work, where we were going to get groceries from
through it all…He has provided. He has protected us and I know and believe that will never change!
The verse from Isaiah this morning reminded me to keep my focus on what is important, be in the moment, keep moving forward and keep trusting.
I can’t go back and change the past but I can change how I react in the future thus changing my future. The other day while playing on her tablet our 11 year old said
which has led to some good discussions with all three of our kidlets. Words are important. They can be used to say nice things and mean things. They can be truth or lies ~ but our actions say a whole lot more sometimes than our words.
Are you careful about what words you say?
I’ve been pretty quiet the last few days…are you wondering why? I have been very under the weather…temps running 99.8 to 100.4 since Thursday. This morning it was 96.8!!! I was so excited. I have been hibernating in our apartment while Ron has been holding down the fort. I have gone into the main house when the kidlets were still in bed…setting up their homework and helping Ron figure out what to make for dinner. All through it all I have been so thankful for a wonderful partner…Ron Workentin is the best husband and daddy around.
I knew I was sick when I didn’t even have the energy to crochet…and if you know me, I love to crochet.
This morning I woke up feeling much better well except for having my earring stuck to my shirt. I gently got it out of my ear and then had Ron take it out of my shirt!!! Sometimes the littlest things are the big things!!!
Made myself a bowl of oatmeal and added some cinnamon to it…yummy. Then I turned on some worship music and paid bills…so thankful to have a laptop again…thank you sweet angels who gifted this to me…you are both a blessing to Ron and I and we are thankful to call you not only friends but family!!!!
I am so thankful that we don’t have to worry about our jobs. In fact, we are considered essential workers because we are foster parents. Ron and I talked about it…EVERY PARENT should be considered an essential worker!!! Without parents our kidlets would be lost!!!
And thankful for technology…was able to pay all our bills online, money is in the bank thanks to auto deposit.
Just so much to be thankful for. Even in the midst of so much uncertainty.
What are you thankful for today?
My friend, Cindy Leffel posted the following on her Facebook page:
Well gang, let’s make a huge list of things we can still do!
We can still pray, talk on the phone, write letters, love one another, text, clean house, do yard work, go outside, walk, run, water sports, read, bake bread, bike, be thankful for silly things like Facebook…
in response to school closings, events being cancelled and the fear that is running rampant through many people’s minds…AND it made me stop and think again of the things I am thankful for:
~ a job where I get to love on kidlets and don’t have to work a second job
~ an 8 year old boy who loves baseball and being part of a team
~ a son who travels the world for his work being “grounded” for a bit who gets to be home with his wife and boys and be the hands on daddy he is
~ a granddaughter who turned 12 this past month!! She is a fighter and has come such a long way from the little 1 lb 15 oz baby girl!!! She is a voracious reader and loves to draw and play with her dog, cats and bunnies.
~ a son who loves to be a daddy and is not just a father ~ do you know the difference?
~ thankful my hubby was only bruised up when he fell over some bikes while unloading scrap stuff and not seriously hurt
~ that my boss only has Flu A and not the coronavirus
~ for sunshine…the sun is shining more and more each day
~ that I have gone two days without taking a nap!!!
~ having plenty of food and toilet paper in our home 🙂
and the list goes on and on!!!
What are you thankful for today?
This is the question raised in one of my groups this morning…Dana wrote: Y’all are amazing and have your talents in just about everything. What did you accomplish this week? Got out of bed every day, even when you didn’t feel like it? I know what a gargantuan task that can be at times. Finish a project? Achieve a goal? Start something new? Tell us and feel free to leave pictures and links!
I was going to reply not much and then thought this is a good question for me to address on a blog post…
What did I do this week ~ I am going to do Monday thru Friday:
- I got up each morning, twice even before the alarm went off
- Put two baby gifts in the mail (can’t post pictures yet as I don’t want to spoil the surprise)
- Started working on a project for Pastor Charles
- Worked on a dress for AS which I have ripped it out so many times I can’t count but now I think I have the pattern going the way I want
- Made dinner for 10 Thursday night
- Made dinner for our 3 kidlets, Ron & I four nights
- Took my meds each day
- Attended a staffing for our 3 kidlets
- Talked to my boss 2x
- Got kids to baseball and softball practice 3x
- Walked the dog 3 out of the 5 days
- Visited with our housekeeper and shared a new recipe with her
- Had breakfast out with friends
- Did my Weekly Log Notes
- Ordered our granddaughter her birthday gifts…can’s believe she is going to be 12!!!
- Did devotions 2 mornings
- Cleaned off my desk
- Didn’t lose my cool when the 11 year old refused to do her math test
And I also:
- Ate too much junk food
- Didn’t drink enough water each day
- Whined a lot about a situation I have no control over
Yet I feel like I haven’t done much this week. And if I thought about it for a bit longer I have probably done a bit more..oh yes, 3 kids laundry, 3 loads of our laundry, ran the dishwasher a few times
YET I feel like I am not doing much of anything…just functioning and doing what needs to be done, what is required of me and I feel busy most of the time
I also questioned why I don’t eat the way I know I should even in the face of seeing a friend end up in the hospital because she hasn’t done what she needed to do in regards to taking care of her health and yet I still chose to have a donut for breakfast instead of making myself something healthy to eat.
And this tells me that even though I don’t think I’m depressed I think I am in a depression of some sorts and I hate that…I hate that I don’t love myself enough to take care of myself…another friend recommended a book that has helped her to acknowledge why she doesn’t do what she knows she should do and that in reading it it brought awareness to her being able to make changes in her life. I thought about Tom T and him saying Awareness + Contact = Change so I ordered the book ~ it should arrive on Tuesday. It is
I also realized that when I was focusing on the 5 Simple Habits each morning I was doing better
- Start each morning with 2 minutes with God
- Drink 8 oz of water first thing
- Get moving ~ for me this is being consistent on walking Joey each morning
- Eat a healthy breakfast
- Breathe deep for 2 minutes
So once again I am going to get back on track with doing these 5 things each morning and get back into my morning routine…I KNOW that when I take care of me physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally I feel better about myself and how and why I live my life and make the choices I make.
So that brings me to my question of the day ~ How or what do you do take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally?
I was looking at some of my previous blog posts and this one popped up…we have now been married 43+ years and yes we still laugh about my cold feet on our wedding night!!
Monday, December 20th we celebrated 35 years of marriage. We slept till about 8:30 a.m. and then we walked across the street for breakfast. I had an omelet and Ron had his favorite, biscuits & gravy. We enjoyed our time and then headed back to the tree lot. I am so thankful for the man God gave me in my husband. We have shared many journey’s. We have had 33 different residences and almost as many cars. We moved from Las Vegas, Nevada to The Netherlands and then back to Washington state. Together we have traveled the states of Nevada, Arizona, California, Oregon, Washington, Utah, Montana and into British Columbia. We are anticipating more travels in the years to come.
I do have to share one memory that brings laughs to both…
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I can’t believe the weekend is over and back to work I am. It was a different kind of weekend for me…Ron flew out last Thursday afternoon to go to Tampa Florida to surprise our son, Brandon, for his 40th birthday!!! We pulled the surprise off ~ the three grand boys and Brandon were all pleasantly surprised to come downstairs on Valentine’s morning to see Grandpa drinking coffee!!!
My plan for the weekend was to stay home (no car as it was sitting at the Austin, TX airport) and crochet and rest and rest and crochet…which is just what I did…though I did get out at least twice a day to walk Joey to do his business.
I started a dress for Little Bit, didn’t like how it was turning out so ripped it out and started looking for another pattern…I think I found one.
I finished two little dresses w/matching headbands…need to get them in the mail this week so I can post some pictures and then started on an Virus afghan using country blue and yellow for a fundraiser that is coming up in April this year.
I am also working on three temperature blankets…
these are through the month of January…one is for Blaine, WA, one for Yoakum, TX and the third for Bonney Lake, WA….I will post February sometime in early March….
I am also working on a surprise project that I can’t mention who for or what because then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore…LOL
So I spent my weekend, sleeping in, taking a nap or two, crocheting and watching all my crime shows on my DVR…I know Ron worries that I am up to something but I just keep telling him I’m learning what not to do…LOL
I have been struggling with headaches the past few weeks…one person thought it had to do with the barometric pressure but now I am thinking it might have to do with my left eye socket. My eye is irritated and very dry…guess I’m going to have to break down and find me an ocularist here in Texas since it doesn’t look like I will be going back to Washington anytime soon 😦
My writing has been nil, my drawing/coloring has been nil, my drinking water has been slim to barely one water bottle a day which I think is contributing to my UGH feelings and why I just want to crochet and sleep and sleep and crochet.
I’ve also been struggling with some weird dreams/nightmares and I’m not sure why…I have got my plans in my head for the IF THE…happens but the anxiety is high…which contributes to my nightmares and weird dreams.
I am so looking forward to my hubby being home this evening…I know that will help me to feel better and yet I am so thankful he was able to go to Florida and see B and the family!!!
So now that I’ve rambled for awhile I think I will close for now and get myself organized to start my new week off right tomorrow morning…back to my routine will be a good thing. Alarm is set for 4:45 to give me time to walk Joey, have some time in the Word and then be ready to relieve our overnight staff at 5:55a!
My question to you today is …once you get out of sync with your schedule/your routine what do you do to get back on and in the swing of things?
Do you ever just want to go and hide, hibernate and ignore the world even when there really isn’t reason for feeling like that??
I’m tired, I know that but it’s so frustrating when I am working so hard on making healthy choices regarding food and walking and trying to be positive and yet all I want to do is go into the apartment, shut the door, close the curtains, grab my blanket and my crochet and snuggle in my recliner and ignore the world.
No one has done anything or said anything, life is good and I have no complaints…I just want to go and hide and hibernate and not take care of anyone or talk to anyone or look at anyone…
…today is only Tuesday…we have to work till mid-morning on Friday and then I can do just that…go and hibernate and only take care of me…
…so I am asking you as my friend to just say a prayer that my energy level will rise to what I need it to be, that I can be the loving mama that these kidlets need, that I won’t feel snarky towards people I come into contact with
AND to remember to love the way Jesus loves me, give GRACE the way Jesus gives grace and to remember today is just today and tomorrow dawns anew!!!