I am the kind of person that has lists, lists of things to do, lists of projects I want to complete, lists of all the medications I/we take and even lists of chores that need to be completed! I also love to mark things off of my lists – it is a visual thing to show me I have not been a bump on a log all day long 😳.
I also use a paper day timer/calendar and it is full of lists. Lists of things that need to be done each day, things that need to be for the week and the month. I love to see things written down and crossed off.
One of my priorities, for lack of a better word is to spend time each day in the Word of God. I wish I could say I am successful at doing that every day but that’s just not true.
But this morning I did and it was good!!! I use a variety of different devotional tools along with my Bible. Today’s scriptures were from Experiencing God Daily Devotional (EGDD) and January Scriptures and Writing Prompts (JSWP) from PrayerfulPlanner.
This morning’s verses were Isaiah 6: 5-9 and 2 Corinthians 3:18
And I was reminded if I look at things through my mind, my eyes and my thoughts I take my focus off of God BUT by keeping my focus on God I see peace, blessings (physical, spiritual and emotional) as how God sees me and wants me to see the world.
The prompt from JSWP was to write a prayer of transformation ~ my prayer today is that as I busy myself with all the things on my list I want to keep my focus on the Lord and how He is always with me, even when I don’t feel his presence and to have God’s love that He shares so openly and willingly with me shared with those I come into contact with, whether that be in person, on the phone or through a post on Facebook or an email…Lord, allow your love for me flow through me to those I come into contact with. Amen.
As many of you know, one of the things I enjoy doing is writing and yes, writing, blogging, journaling are all on my lists ~ do I do it every day? No, but I want to. One of the tools I am trying to use this year is being a part of WordPress Bloganuary. Today’s prompt was to answer the question “How are you brave?”
When I first saw the prompt I thought “I am not brave.” But in reality I am brave in many ways…I don’t let physical stuff stop me from doing things ~ I am thinking of only having vision out of one eye. Oh there are lots of things I won’t do because I only have one eye like go water skiing or snow skiing ~ the fear is real I would lose my eye and it would be impossible to find! And at $5000 a pop, that’s too much money to risk. But I do things that I have been told I can’t do because I only have one eye ~ cross-stitch is one because you know I might poke my good eye out! I enjoy cross-stitching, it’s right up there with crocheting…I love to make things and give them away. And yes, I have scratched the lens on my left side of my glasses before with a needle and I have even superglued my eyeball though I don’t recommend either of those activities.
Another way I am brave but I don’t call it being brave ~ I call it sharing my testimony, my story of being abused, abuses in more ways than I can count and also being a verbally and physically abusive person in my past. Am I proud of that abuse ~ absolutely not! What I am proud of is that I have learned how to love myself (self-abuse is a big thing too), love those who God has placed in my life, learned to share with others that you don’t have to be abusive, that it is okay to be a loving and kind person. I have also learned that I don’t have to be in control all the time…for so many years of my life I thought I had to control those around me, to get them to meet my needs, to do my bidding. BUT in reality I have realized I can only control myself. I can only control what I say or do. It doesn’t mean I can’t share my desires and wants and needs but it does mean I can only control me.
I think I will always struggle with wanting to control things, it’s only human to want what I want, when I want it
has shown me how to love myself,
how to love others,
know the difference between wants and needs
AND WITH GOD
I am whole,
I am loved,
I am loveable,
I am enough
I can love others
just as God loves me!
and most importantly