Life and Lists continuing ~

Of course as soon as I finish a blog post something else comes to mind…so going to start this one and finish it later 🤣 started on Friday, now it’s Tuesday…sort of how my life seems to be going…focus on one thing and then get distracted…I was going to say interrupted but really its distractions…something I have been struggling with for a really long time…easily distracted, hard to stay focused and keeping on task. Not exactly sure what or why but it is what it is…so I try cut myself some slack and just go with the flow ~ you know, the being flexible thing.

11. Health Insurance ~ so thankful for insurance even though at times I complain about all the different hoops that need to be jumped through. Because of moving, insurance changes I once again am having to change the type of insulin I use. This will be the third type of long acting insulin since July 2021! Sure hope it works as well as the last two. The new insulin is Toujeo. I get the same number of boxes but two less pens in a box…but while checking it out found out the pens have more insulin in them…went from 300u to 450u per pen so really getting more for my buck. And with insurance it is only $40 a month. Which in itself is quite the savings…cash price was over $1000 for one box! So $40 for two boxes is a great thing!!!

12. Medication ~ I guess this goes along with #11 – health insurance; thankful that there is medication out there to help with some of my ongoing health issues.

13. Anxiety ~ a story all in itself…my anxiety has been all over the place. I started having more anxiety issues while working at A Kid’s Place where we felt there was no support from the administrators and many of our co-workers either wouldn’t or didn’t talk with us…like they all did their own thing…we definitely felt like a lonely soldier in the middle of a battlefield.

We don’t regret our leaving AKP in such a quick manner. Well on one hand it was six weeks of debating, stressing and trying but a quick decision to leave due to an incident on Sunday night, lack of support during a meeting with administration on Tuesday and left on Thursday. The hard part for us was not having our finances in a better place to deal with unemployment. Two major moves in less than six months, housing requirements, rising prices of gas and insurance all contributed to the unstable financial situation we found ourselves in. BUT it all contributed to my rising anxiety issues.

Then add in two major health scares for Ron and one for me and my anxiety kept climbing and then a third major move and new job to a new state. Don’t get me wrong…we are thankful for our new jobs, we love working in a campground again and having the opportunity to meet lots of new people. BUT every move has it’s own stressors ~ for us it’s always the traveling, knowing their will be issues as there always is though we were pleasantly surprised we only had two issues…one a wobbly tire which we prayed over and had absolutely no tire issues the whole trip and one operator error where Ron miscalculated a turn…and we met the corner of a ditch yet with the help of friends and a nice tow truck driver who was able to get the truck and trailer out of the ditch without any damage to either of them.

I would love to say that my anxiety has disappeared since our move to South Carolina but quite often it rears its ugly head. I have seen a new doctor (who we both love!) who listened, tweaked my meds and said he will check back in six weeks to see how I am doing. I am one week on the higher dose but haven’t really noticed a change BUT we will see. My anxiety also seems to climb around different dates…Mother’s Day and Father’s Day being two of the most difficult days I have each year.

I tend to avoid church and social media around those days and this year was no different and yet the anxiety seemed to manifest itself with a quick temper and wanting to hibernate. I am so thankful for a husband who loves me and understands (as best he can) about my anxiety and all my foibles. Often foregoing what he wants to help me make it through a day or two or ???

I have also been chatting with our new Pastor, PR about my anxiety and he has suggested speaking with the counselor at the church…my plan is to call him this afternoon and make an appointment….I know it can’t hurt EVEN THOUGH it makes my anxiety climb because I don’t want to go back there….but I also know it’s not always about what I want. I will continue to trust the Lord, my hubby and those God has put in my life…

14. Priorities ~ that was one of the words used by Pastor PR two Sunday’s ago in two services and which has also come up in my devotions…today it was on Friends and how we have to make it a priority to connect with friends and how God did not make us to be alone in this world.

Along with that is the priority to do the things I say I WANT to do…as y’all know I love to crochet and it becomes my escape as well as my therapy…I just need to not let it consume me but to also add into my day my other priorities: walking (the plantar fasciitis is getting better (thank you Donna for the bands, thank you J & K for the foot roller and thank you Ron for putting up with my hobbling) I even noticed this morning that my stretching exercises before getting out of bed my foot was not pulling like it has been! cooking healthy meals ~ hard to do at times with the rising costs of groceries…why is eating healthy so darn expensive? I think it’s pretty sad having to choose between paying a bill or buying groceries…this week the groceries came first. writing ~ two of my goals are to write daily or at least 3 or 4x a week here on my blog ~ and also copying my journals from hard copy books to the laptop to work towards the goal of writing a book or at least some articles relating to healing from child abuse, learning how to parent myself the way I should/needed to be parented as a child (major reason for not liking Mother’s Day or Father’s day), helping others with the loss of a baby (please keep CJ & B in your prayers as it’s just been a week since they had to say goodbye to their sweet baby) as well as helping those heal from the trauma of sexual abuse.

Whew!!! guess I will close for the day…I do wish each of you reading this has a great day! And if you think about it, say a prayer for Donna who is having shoulder surgery tomorrow that it will go smoothly and healing with be smooth and super quick!!!

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