As I thought about writing this blog post from a feeling of starting over again…two things went through my mind…first was this verse from Lamentations:
which is something I (we, Ron and I) have said many times in many different situations and if God tells me His mercies are new every morning why am I so hard on myself when I feel like I am starting over, starting over again and again? Because if God is good with new beginnings every day, shouldn’t I be good with wherever I am happen to be in my walk on this journey we call life?
I then looked for a picture about starting over and this one was one of the first to pop up…
And I was reminded that the reality is I am not starting totally over again, I am starting the day with the information and previous experiences have given me.
So even though I feel like I have failed, have stumbled, have gotten stuck ~ the reality is that I am not the same as I was yesterday, a month ago or even years ago. I may be dealing with some, if not many of the same issues from who knows when I am still not where I was…so today as I give myself the grace and mercy that our loving God gives to me I move forward. And that is a good thing!!!
And just like always, God always meets me right where I am. Today my reading was in Proverbs 24…
No Matter What, GET BACK UP!
Stop reacting to what others say and do…DO what I know I need to do and what I know to be truth!
And so today I continue on my journey of becoming healthier. In my devotion from Grace Filled Food Freedom I am reminded that I walk a different path today then I did yesterday or the day before. My goals are ever changing and that’s okay as long as I keep my eye on the prize!
Yesterday during the sermon Pastor Fred asked the question “What is your motive?” He was talking about how we are to be as mentioned in James 3: 13-18…Pure, Peaceful, Gentle,, Obedient, Merciful, participate in Good actions, fair and genuine.
So the question…what is my motive? also comes out as what is my why? why do I want to get healthy? the simple answer is because I don’t like how I look or how I feel. I feel fat and I have no energy and I want to be able to do things with my sweet hubby (who by the way puts up with a lot from me…my grumpiness and my weird ideas 😳) and my kids and grands! and friends!!!
The other thought that went through my mind about my motive is that I want to be an example to others…to share that it doesn’t matter if you came from a crappy home life as a child or had abusive parents or alcoholic parents you don’t have to be like them. I want to be an encourager even when I’m struggling with stuff because, well who doesn’t struggle with things in life? Don’t we all have struggles and trials – they are just different from one another.
I want to show others that you don’t have to have a million dollars in your bank account to have a good life. Not to say I wouldn’t want to try to see what it would be like to have a million dollars to spend … isn’t that why we play the lottery every once in awhile…to allow ourselves to dream. One thing I have shared over the years is that we may not have a lot of money but we have never gone without what we needed…we have never gone without a meal though there have been times we have wondered where the next meal would come from BUT God has always provided. Once while living/working in Cedarcreek, MO we went quite a while without a paycheck through no fault of our own. Ron and I were bickering at each other and finally Ron said “let’s go for a drive.” My thought, that would be fun but we don’t have money for gas, we always want to stop to get something to drink while out for a drive but there is no money for that BUT better to go for a drive then to continue bickering.
Drives for us are very healing and healthy. We have some of our best talks. So we filled the car with $25 of the $40 we had to our name and we set off on a drive. I don’t remember where we went, just drove around the area. We were gone for about three hours. I remember the day was filled with sunshine, we listened to quite a few of our CD’s…probably from New South or Barbara Fairchild & Roy Morris and by the time we got back to the motorhome we were both in a much better mood. We checked the mail as we pulled into the driveway. In the mail was an envelope with our names on it. I remember Ali was spelled Allie ~ which surprised me. We made our way into the motorhome and started going through the mail. I opened the envelope addressed to Allie & Ron…inside was a card with a note that said “this is for you guys, not GUMI camp” along with 5 $100 bills!!! Wow!!! We had only told a few people what was going on at the time…my bestie in Washington state and a couple of friends in Branson…but none of them were in a position to be able to send us that kind of money PLUS the money and card was hand delivered…there was no stamp on the envelope…a plain envelope with Allie & Ron printed on it so it hadn’t come through the regular mail. I remember we both just sat and stared at the money and tried to figure out who would have given it to us. You know we never did find out but you can bet we have never forgotten the wonderful gift that came at the right time. We were able to fill the car with gas, go grocery shopping and get some much needed fresh fruit, vegetables and meat. God provided for a way we could not imagine.
There have been many other times where God provided for us in ways we could never imagine. And we are so thankful. I want to be an example for others, to show them that even when life seems crazy, that when the tunnel doesn’t seem to have a light at the end that we just continue to trust in our Lord to take care of us.
And so today I am choosing to start the day by making healthy food choices, drinking my water, tackling some much needed chores and spending time in the Word and with my Lord before relaxing and vegging on some TV shows with my hubby!!!
Do you feel like you have started over so many times you can’t count?
How do you stay encouraged to keep to the course?
One response to “Starting Over Again, Again and Again”
I really enjoyed this post. As you bless, so are you blessed.