January 2, 2022 ~ Being Real

I slept almost 12 hours last night. When I woke up and looked around the trailer I realized no admitted to myself that no one will do for me what I need to do but me. No amount of wishing or talking but I need to be the ump to get things done for myself. And I know what I need to do but what I need is someone to hold me accountable ~~ BUT then I think why can’t I hold myself accountable, I’m a grown ass woman. I shouldn’t need someone else to say “did you eat healthy today?” “did you spend time in the Word today?”

So I did what I usually do when I realize I need some action…I started down my mental To Do List
~ Take morning meds √
~ Drink a bottle of water √
~ Spend some time in the Word √
~ Made a mental list of things I need to do today √

And I asked myself why do I struggle so much and the first thing that came to mind was I struggle so I have a reason for someone, anyone to reach out to me…attention seeking is another way to put it…UGH I thought that was gone a long time ago!!!

~ Affirmation for today: Be all the amazing things to yourself that you are to everyone else! In other words extend the same grace you give to others to yourself!

I have been thinking about a friend who is really struggling with some addiction issues and she has been so transparent…she is a reminder to me to be authentic! Be truthful and honest with myself…it starts with me. If I’m not honest with myself how the hell can I be authentic with others. So today I say “Lord, thank you for the nudge this morning that I am responsible for me and only me. But I also know, I don’t have to walk this journey of life alone…YOU are always with me and you tell me that in my reading this morning!

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