Day 22: Desperate Times Call For…Desperate Measures! Isn’t that what we tell ourselves?
VERSE:“And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone.” Luke 8:43 ESV
READ: Luke 8:43-48
EXCERPT: What do you desperately press into in your moments of distress? What would happen if you put the same amount of effort into seeking the hem of His garment as you do into pursuing food? For those of us who feel chewed up and spit out by diets and our feeble attempts to reel in our eating, it would change everything. Your problems are not too big or too small for our Lord. He is waiting for you to reach out... so that He can show up like no other can. And that is exactly how I feel so often…that my stuff, my issues are so insignificant to God and others and even to myself. Yet God tells me/us that he cares about everything we think and do. Then why do I question so often?
GRACE IN ACTION:
What would true desperation for His help look like in your life? Determine a plan of action that’s not dependent on you, and decide how you’ll press into Him the next time temptation hits. Lately I’ve been feeling like I am on a merry-go-round, just spinning round and round and constantly back to where I started. I KNOW that’s not true but it’s how I’ve been feeling and sometimes my feelings get the best of me!!!
I’ve noticed that in the past few weeks I’ve been spinning round and round, that my depression is coming and going like a roller coaster goes up and down…that one day I am wearing a mask, the next everything is out there raw and untouched. I just don’t get why I can’t seem to be stable…stable in my eating, stable in my walking, stable in my thinking and then I find myself questioning what is wrong with me?
I set goals and make plans and then feel like it is all for naught…why bother because nothing seems to be going my way…I just don’t get my thinking lately…one minute I am feeling confident, trusting the Lord (at least I think I am) and the next my anxiety is climbing through the roof. One minute I feel loving and kind and the next snarky and ready to bite someone’s head off…I just don’t get myself lately.
There’s a part of me that just wants to tell the world and all those in my life to leave me alone yet in the next breath I am not wanting to be alone, thinking I need to find a job, need to get connected to in person friends. I feel like I am on the questioning merry-go-round and that it is getting ready to spin out of control!!!
Even as I am writing this I’m thinking…why am I whining? I have a good life…a husband who loves me, kids who care about me and call me and want me in their lives but in the next breath thinking why bother???? Do I post this blog or toss it??? Do I eat something or not? I want to go out to eat yet I just want to eat candy!!! I want to go for a walk but then I want to go crawl back into bed!!!
I’m just in a quandary!!! What to do???