Do you find your mind just rambling through things, no rhyme or reason to why you are thinking this or that? I do a lot of thinking while in the shower or driving down the road or as I’m drifting off to sleep. I think it was this past Thursday (9/16) I was washing dishes (another good place to do some thinking) and I realized it was the first time in many years I hadn’t wished my sister, Joanie, a Happy Birthday. I was kind of amazed that I hadn’t written a blog post and done some reminiscing about her, our family and our lives…what is and what isn’t.
I wondered…did she even notice I hadn’t written a blog post about her? Does she even think about me anymore. It’s been 13 years since she spoke to me last…right after our older sister, Kathy passed away. And I don’t even know why. That’s what sad…the not knowing.
It wasn’t purposeful that I didn’t write a blog post about her (I know she reads my blog…I see the stats, tracking locations, etc.) it just happened and it was just on the 16th ~ 5 days after her birthday she came to mind. And again, I had the fleeting saddies (my word for lots of sadness passing through the mind) pass through my mind and heart.
And that got me to thinking about my extended family (the Lockwood/Nelson side)…I’m friends on Facebook with my aunt, my cousin and my niece…we don’t chat, can’t remember the last time I heard any of their voices, but we check in once in awhile on Facebook and I’m glad for that. They all live in California and we are in Florida so no in person visits for lots of reasons…Covid, distance, work, money…life! I connected with a 2nd/3rd cousin through 23andMe…I was excited when I connected with another aunt but alas that really hasn’t gone anywhere either. I used to chat with my cousin Mike through text and Messenger but that hasn’t happened for a long time either. We do talk and/or text with our boys once or twice a week and I smile each time we do. So what has happened…has everyone just gotten so busy with their own lives the extended family is now not a common connection anymore?
Maybe my rambling thoughts because we heard a family member is sick and realizing we haven’t talked with her in a long time. I’ve not talked with Aunt Tiny (Ron’s aunt in Arizona) as she is out hunting with Erv & Jeremy…I think they come back this week…realizing the only time any more I talk on the phone has to do with work. Don’t have a girlfriend that I just chat with, don’t have coffee with friends, don’t go shopping with friends or out to lunch or dinner with friends…and all this just makes me feel alone…now don’t get me wrong…I know I have friends and I am very thankful for my friends from Washington to Texas to Missouri to North Carolina but there is something about fellowshipping with one another in person, seeing the smiles, hearing the laughter, praying together and yes, even crying together.
Do you have similar thoughts?
Any ideas why people (I know I am not the only one) that is questioning relationships,
fellowship with one another, how we communicate with each other?