Below is a page I follow on Facebook “Sister I am with you” ~ as I read it yesterday my mind started thinking and the tears started falling…feel free to skip the post and continue to my thoughts below…
Sister I am With YOU!· Sometimes I’m a bad friend. And look, this is a safe space, so let’s be honest here—sometimes you are too. I’m not saying it’s okay, but I’m saying…let’s have some grace for each other. Life is hard, and we are walking around waitress-style balancing four plates on both arms, glasses in both hands, probably a tray on top of our head and a set of napkins in our mouth. We’re wife-ing. We’re mom-ing. We’re daughter-ing. We’re working. We’re volunteering. We’re giving to about ten thousand different areas 27 hours a day, which is insane, because there are only 24 hours in a day. But yeah…that’s kind of what it feels like most of the time. We are trying. But sometimes, something just gets dropped, because we are all just ordinary people. It’s not because we don’t care. Not because we don’t love you. Not because we are trying to hurt you. But because..life. Sometimes we forget to respond to that text. And yeah, I know, they only take ten seconds to send, but when you get them while you’re in the middle of making dinner while also trying to convince your toddler to put on pants and help your older kid with their homework, sometimes you just forget. Sometimes you need an hour after everyone’s in bed to catch up with your hubby without a phone in your hand. Sometimes we have to decline that invitation even though it breaks our heart internally to reply with a “sorry, I’m out tonight.” Kids get sick. Obligations arise. Money gets tight. Schtuff happens. It doesn’t matter how much FOMO we may have, or how much our soul is craving that sisterhood, we just can’t be in two places at once. Again, ordinary people. Sometimes the situation is even worse and we are battling depression and anxiety, and we pull away and go into hiding, even though that’s probably the time when we need our friends the most. Whewwwwww.We are trying. But, I’ll tell you what: If you’ll make a promise to me, I’ll make the same promise to you.To do the best I can. Always. To reply as often as my extremely exhausted brain will allow. (Seriously, I threw my keys and my wallet into the trash today. Sometimes, it just ain’t staying on top of things.) To pick up the phone every chance I get. To say—not just yes—but hell yes, as often as I possibly can. To cheer for you. To help you often. To listen. To include you. To talk good about you behind your back. To think about you. To tell you the truth. To be nice. To be fun. To be there in an emergency. To love your family. To love you. To not make you feel guilty. To not add drama to your already full life. To talk directly to you when I’m upset, and not to go to somebody else. To try. And also, and maybe most importantly, to forgive you when you mess-up too. To go easy on the unrealistic expectations and chill out for a hot minute. To give you the benefit of the doubt. To remember that I KNOW YOU, and I know that sometimes, crappy behavior doesn’t mean you have a crappy heart, it just means you have a lot going on. To make sure I do my part to make this the kind of un-delicate relationship that doesn’t sway back and forth when the wind starts to blow, or walk away the second things hard, or make you feel like you need to walk on eggshells to make me happy. I don’t want you to walk on eggshells. Life is too short. I don’t need you to make me happy. That’s an inside job.I don’t need to be the only thing going on in your life. That’s completely unrealistic and unbelievably selfish. I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be yourself, and to be a part of my life, as often as you possibly can. Love, Amy Follow Sister, I am with you.
I wrote this yesterday morning in response to the above post: Friendship is a two way street, right now I feel like I have forgotten what way the road is being traveled…I know I am loved by many but some days, even weeks go by and my mind asks how is so & so? Why has it been so long since I have chatted with them? I feel like I’m failing as a friend. Going to just leave this here as I feel a long blog post coming to my mind…So too continue with my thoughts…
“let’s have some grace for each other” I have to remember to extend the grace that I give to others to myself. Which is so hard to do at times.
“We are trying. But sometimes, something just gets dropped, because we are all just ordinary people. It’s not because we don’t care. Not because we don’t love you. Not because we are trying to hurt you. But because..life. Sometimes we forget to respond to that text. And yeah, I know, they only take ten seconds to send, but when you get them while you’re in the middle of making dinner while also trying to convince your toddler to put on pants and help your older kid with their homework, sometimes you just forget.” I need to remember to tell myself “it’s okay because I’m trying. Trying to be a mama to 11 boys (that number changes often lately it seems), to stay in touch with our granddaughter ~ which has been more hit than miss, trying to keep in touch with our boys…I remember when we were first married I would ask Ron “have you called your mom lately?” now it’s have you called your sisters or your brother or your Aunt Tiny? or ???” and so I want to be the mom that calls her kids, to see how life is going and yet lately I seem to fail more than I succeed.
And yes life gets in the way. Life for me lately includes a sore foot that doesn’t seem to be healing correctly, that the PT is thinking the orthopedic doctor should look at my foot. PT is thinking with the hard lump in my foot is that it really is broken and if that is the case maybe surgery and recovery will be part of my future. UGH…was reminded by a coworker yesterday, don’t worry about the what if until I know for sure. Life includes being a foster mom to an ever changing population, dealing with sick kids, possibly Covid ~ waiting to hear back on one test, have two more getting tested today! For the most part Ron and I love our job, love our kids here at AKP even the ones that seem to be on a collision course with school, with us and life in general…it’s hard to see them struggle so much. And also feeling like I am failing as a wife…life has been stressful for Ron and I have been focused on my crap and not him. I know he loves me but sometimes I need to put my stuff aside and focus and be there for him!!
Life gets messy at times and we need to just acknowledge it and keep moving forward. That is what I am doing today…moving forward. Taking a little bit of time for me while 3 sickies are still sleeping and allowing the 4th one to play on the computer to give me a few minutes of quiet and focus time.
I have also been reflecting on my word from a few years ago + I was reminded by my Bestie ~~ to be FLEXIBLE and how even in the midst of all this sickness in our home, sick boys and a sore foot how I’ve tried to stay flexible and just go with the flow…thanks Bestie for reminding me how far I have come!!!
Today is a new day, two more sleeps and we are off for a week. The first few days of our off time will be busy as we prepare the trailer for travel on Thursday and then move to a new campground on Friday ~ remember the one with a
Not sure if we will have time to get in on Friday but for sure sometime during our off week I plan on floating and relaxing in the pool for a couple of hours!!! If not more like days!!!! I do have two doctor appointments on Monday and a PT appointment on Wednesday but that still leaves time to hang at the pool!!!! And I can’t wait.
In the meantime, today I am doing laundry, making burgers for dinner and loving on these boys!!!
What are you doing for yourself today??
One more thing, if you don’t mind, please say a prayer for a friend who’s mom needs some healing, another family has the sickies and for all our teachers and school administrations across the country facing so many obstacles and responsibilities that are not the norm! Thanks