Wondering…

…why there is so much strife in the world today?

…what happened to treat others the way you want to be treated?

…why there is much anger…and is it really anger or fear? I was always taught anger is the secondary feeling to something else ~ like fear, hurt, anxiousness?

…what is going to be the final outcome of all the hate streaming forth?

I think it’s pretty sad when a governor tells it’s citizens to arm themselves at all costs.

I think it’s pretty sad when a parent or caregiver decides to take a young child to a protest where the possibility of violence can break out…what kind of caregiver/parent is thinking of their child in that moment?

…wondering if World War III is going to break out here in the USA? by our own citizens against our own citizens.

…what can I do to help turn the tide…turn the anger, the fear, the anxiousness into something positive…

I can do what I’m doing…I can take care of the children placed in my care. I can teach them to love, to do the right thing and look for the positive in all situations.

I can keep my thoughts and opinions to myself to avoid conflict because to me, it seems each time I try to engage in a conversation about the issues someone gets mad, gets angry with me and tells me I am wrong…I am wrong because I don’t think the way they do…I am not a puppet and you are not a puppet. We are each individuals living in a place where we need to express love and kindness, be encouraging instead of tearing people apart.

I have many people in my life where we don’t think the same over some major points of conversation but we aren’t calling each other names, we aren’t spewing hate and anger at each…we each share our thoughts, we continue to love each other and then we agree to disagree….what we disagree about is so minuscule compared to what we do agree on.

I was in a training yesterday and the facilitator said that he and his son had to “agree to disagree” over some topics…I do that often…I don’t always agree with my grown sons or my daughters-in-love but we agree on so much more than we don’t…it’s called focusing on what we agree on…loving the children and listening to each other. It’s not trying to prove my point or them trying to prove their point. There are just some things we disagree on. That doesn’t mean we stop loving each other, it doesn’t mean we don’t want the best for each other, it doesn’t mean we call each other names…it means agreeing to disagree.

Shoot…Ron and I have been married for almost 45 years…we come from very different backgrounds, our parents raised us in very different ways, heck we even have disagreements about how we raised our boys and our raising these kidlets currently in our care…but we love each other, we listen to each other, we talk with each other and sometimes we have to agree to disagree. And we live in peace with each other.

Why? Because we are adults and we have learned we don’t always have to be right…heck we can both be right and still disagree.

**********

On another note yet maybe still the same note…I think I know part of why I have not been feeling well…physically and emotionally…because I want to avoid conflict so I keep things tucked inside…and I think back to this picture

Image may contain: text that says 'OUTRAGED by George Floyd's Death. Supports GOOD Cops. Me Does not CONDONE looting and rioting.'

And I wish I knew how to edit this picture to make more circles the same size as the bigger circles, continuing to keep ME in the middle and adding other topics…I think back to a time I was in counseling and my therapist asked me to describe myself and I replied “I’m an abusive parent” and that’s the only way I could describe myself…Tom asked me if I was flat, a one sided piece of paper? I replied no, but that is exactly how I saw myself. Whereas in reality I have many parts of me, parts where some of me are bigger than other parts but lots of parts of me, of who I am. Isn’t that how we all are? Made up of lots of little parts/pieces to make us whole…I have lots of good parts and yet there are parts of me that I don’t even like looking at. I think of a song that Roy Morris sings:

And right now I feel like I have lots of secret places that I can’t share about for fear of being yelled at, argued with, ignored and told I’m wrong…so I remain quiet.

And if you know me at all…being quiet is hard to do. But for now it is what I feel I must be…quiet.

You are probably saying..you aren’t being quiet…you are writing on your blog, open for all to see and read…yes I’m writing a bit yet being very careful what I write. Hibernating as much as I can, trying to remain calm and focus on the today, the now, taking care of the kidlets entrusted in our care and for the most part being quiet.

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Ali & Ron

Christ loving, fun making, traveling couple of 44+ years. Also known as Grandpa & Grammy!!

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