Once again it has been awhile since I have visited my blog. I have all the normal excuses: busy with kidlets, hibernating on days off, too tired, too busy and I go to bed each night saying tomorrow will be different and yet it is not. Life is what it is: some days are busy, some days I waste a bucket load of time on Facebook or playing games on my phone and other times I crochet, crochet and crochet some more and all while being a wife, mom and grammy and then losing sight of me…a woman who hungers for so much.

This morning I listened to a podcast on Facebook by Pastor Mike, https://www.facebook.com/preacher325/ and one of the things that struck me was “we need to do the things we ought to do not necessarily what we want.” I hear from our kidlets often “because I wanted too” and we tell that that’s not an okay thing all the time and then this morning I realized I do that very thing with the Lord…I choose not to spend time with Him because I’m busy or I want to crochet or I want to play a game on my phone. And then I questioned why is it okay for me to say “because I want to” but not okay for the kidlets. OUCH…

Am I saying to them “Practice what I preach and not what I do?” And why is it okay for me but not for them…what kind of example is that?

The scripture from this mornings podcast was found in Luke 9:23-27…
^23-27 Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I’m leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn’t, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God.” The Message

As I read it and then reread it I realize the issue comes down to control. CONTROL…one of the biggest issues I have had in my life. Feeling like I have no control or I’m out of control of whatever situation I am dealing with. The reality is I have a lot of control over what I do, over what I say, what my expectations are. But I need to release that control and

do what I ought to do, not just what I want to do!

So this morning I extend grace to myself for once again doing the things I don’t want to do and allow myself to begin a new. A new day…spending time in the Word, feeling God’s love surround me and trusting him in the decisions I need to be making.

I also think back to earlier this year when I did the 5 habits to start my day

• Start each morning with 2 minutes with God
• Drink 8 oz of water first thing
• Get moving ~ for me this is being consistent on walking Joey each morning
• Eat a healthy breakfast
• Breathe deep for 2 minutes

and realize somewhere along the line I lost these morning habits and so once again I am stepping up to do these each morning. I know I felt emotionally, spiritually and physically better while I was doing them and it’s time to get back to taking care of me…taking care of me is my responsibility and no one else can do it for me. And since I like to be in control I might as well choose to be in control of what I do each morning and to be intentional in taking care of myself.

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So this leads to my question of the day ~
Do you start a new habit and then have to start it again?