I was chatting with a friend today and she had tears seeping out her eyes. I asked if everything was okay….DUH, of course not, she is crying you fool!!! Later I sent her a message and asked if there was anything I could do for her…and our conversation went like this:
(My Friend) No worries. I’ma little better. I’m trying to keep perspective on the positive things. I was having a moment of being overwhelmed. Thank you for asking. Itll be alright. God is good.
(Me) I know the feeling…that was how I was last night about AZ and her school work. I’m going to stick to my schedule and what the kids get done, they get done. There is no way the teachers/principal can expect us as parents to do all the teachers are expecting and would do…that is asking for failure and issues between parents/kids which is not where we need to go. I think this is the time for us to be giving ourselves extra grace. If this really is how life is going to be for two more months or longer we need to take care of ourselves as moms/wives/women because if we don’t take care of ourselves there is no way we can take care of others.
That’s the discussion we had with AR & AZ tonight…that this is a hard time for everyone for different reasons. We have to have a schedule and to remember that we are not their teachers and their teachers are not us. Just like our Relief Home Parent does some things differently then we do things doesn’t make it right or wrong,..it just is.
And then I found myself thinking of lots of other things I wanted to say but kidlets needs called for my attention so we ended the conversation there.
We were off this past weekend…we spent a lot of time watching TV shows we had recorded. We got lots of rest and YET when we came back on duty on Monday my stress level seemed to escalate faster than the elevator at the Statue of Liberty and I couldn’t pin point what was going on.
I spent a lot of time outside yesterday watching the kidlets playing, talking with the other home parents here at the ranch…we are 9 adults with 10 kids onsite. AND I am so thankful that we are together in this social distancing/season of time that we are not alone. Our boss has been wonderful ~ keeping the main gate locked, must have code to get in, doing counseling for the kidlets via ZOOM/SKYPE, doing tele visits with doctors as needed and being available by phone, text and email. Though we are isolating ourselves we are truly not alone.
At one point yesterday I just wanted to cry. In fact, I laid my head in my hands and said “I don’t even know what to cook for dinner tonight.” Such a simple thing but seemed insurmountable. And it’s not like we don’t have any food … we have one chest freezer and one upright freezer full of meat, pecans, veggies, treats, did I say pecans, ice cream, pecans…yes lots and lots of pecans!!! We have a pantry full of canned goods, baking items and all sorts of food items…just needing and waiting to be cooked. But I still couldn’t think of what to feed these little chillins.
And I have much to be thankful for…we have our jobs, we are getting paid, we have the money to pay our bills, we have health insurance which makes my diabetes medication affordable, we are in reasonably good health and even though we are not near Jamie or Brandon or their families we are able to chat with them via text, phone, FaceTime and Facebook. And we know they are safe, our grandchildren are safe and their needs are being met.
We have much to be thankful for…some sweet dear friends gifted me a laptop…and with the help of our son, Brandon and friend Lee, I have gotten everything off of the laptop that was not a very good dance partner (the one that crashed) and put on this new to me laptop…in fact I am typing on it now!! I was so excited when I was able to get the pictures from the old laptop to the new one…One reason was because while we were gate guarding Ron took on the project of scanning the two totes (each 32 gallon sized) of pictures that represent our 44 years of married life, our parents and grandparents and the thought that they might not be saved was definitely a cause for some of my anxiety. But I have them all!!! And yes we will be making a back up of them!!!
One of my favorite pictures from a long time ago
is this one of me in the first grade. My mom was so mad at me when she saw this picture because she had styled my hair and the cute little bow on the side of my head…I moved it 🙂 she was not happy…but I have come to love and cherish this sweet little girl!!
And this picture of Max…
with his Pop Pop before he was a part of our lives, which allows me to see how much his siblings look like him and we are so thankful he is a part of our family!!!
As I write and watch and listen to our kidlets I am reminded that we really do have much to be thankful for…and so I want to encourage each of you to find something positive about today…it doesn’t have to be a BIG thing, it can be something as simple as I am thankful that I was able to make myself a cup of coffee and I had some of my favorite creamer to put into it.
What are you thankful for today?