Going Around in Circles

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I woke up this morning way before the alarm was set to go off
so headed out to the living room for some study time.  
I fixed me a bottle of water, grabbed my Bible and notebook
and settled myself in the recliner.
As I began writing I asked the Lord to show me what he wanted me to focus on today.
Today is our Monday,
the first day back at work,
with lots already on the calendar:
Changeover Meeting at 9,
Normalcy Training from 10 to 12,
Ron has a follow up dental appointment at 12:50,
Pick up boys at 3:30 and then go, go and go some more.
I opened my notebook ~ it has been 16!!! days since I last spent any time in the Word, being quiet before the Lord!!!  
Where is my follow through?
What happened to my intentions?
No, don’t go down the trail of beating myself up ~
it is what it is!!
No excuses!  It is what it is!!!
My mouth/teeth are killing me ~ I know I need to get back to the dentist.
What goes through my mind is FEAR of the dentist, COST of any procedures,
but the pain is so intense…grabbed a couple of Ibuprofen,
back to my Bible and spending time in God’s word.
I prayed “Lord, show me what you want me to focus us today”
Luke 17:1-10
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“Lord help me not to be a stumbling block to others, forgive those who hurt me, no matter how many times they hurt me,  help me to respond in Love & Respect”
and
2 Timothy 4:6-8
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“Lord help me to fight the good fight, help me to finish the race strong and most importantly, help me to keep my faith strong in You!”
~ Quitting is not an option
~ Need to believe and that IT (whatever IT is) can be done
~ Do not let discouragement or unbelief set in
~ Run with purpose, keep focused on the goal
~ Don’t let negative talk control me
~ Keep moving forward, keep your eyes on the end goal
~ Remember challenges can be overcome
~ Keep moving, one foot in front of the other
“Lord help me to focus on today, the moment, the Big and Short goals.  Lord help me to keep Your word on the tip of my tongue.”
Hebrews 10:23
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God is faithful.
The promises he makes, he keeps.
If I am determined to hold on, the fog will eventually clear.
Where does
“going around in circles”
come from…
I find myself starting over so often!
But then I am reminded that 
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And so I tell myself it’s okay to go in circles,
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because even going round in circles the journey
is a bit different.
Thank you Lord for this journey I am on.
Thank you Lord for supplying all our needs.
Thank you Lord for loving me just the way I am,
in all my foibles and along all the circles I find myself going,
Thank you Lord for never letting me go.
Thank you Lord that you give us “redo’s”
Thank you Lord for this life you have given me!

You Know You Are

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when both House Parents are ready to
Trying to do the best we can
when we don’t have all the information
So you make a decision
then get reamed out!!!
Because it was the
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thing to do!!!
Well if you want us to do the right thing
and not think for ourselves
then give us all the 
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that we need to do our jobs!!!
Today is one of those 
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that we question are we in the 
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Expectations

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I wish there was a magic button to turn off expectations!
Things seem to be going well 
and then
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I think I need to set a timer to go off every 30 minutes
so I won’t be surprised when things change on a dime.
Things are going well and then
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no cooperation,
smart alecky comments,
and then
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explodes!!!
It’s so hard to keep 
feelings inside,
to keep my mouth shut
and not to take things personally.
Makes me realize how much I have grown
and at the same time realize how
much my past behavior was so hurtful to so many.
Oh how I wish I could turn back the clock with the knowledge I have today;
back to when our boys were little, 
to their young teenage lives,
to their teenage years.
But I can’t!
What I can do is learn from the past,
make positive choices today,
and continue to trust the Lord to be with me/us
as we do our work here
Trying to remember the good things,
Saturday night being asked by one of our boys to buy him a Bible
Sunday buying that Bible
and laughing and joking with all the boys.
Making 
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on Sunday and watching one young man eat 8!!! yes 8 pancakes
and
making
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this morning and watch that same young man eat 6!! yes 6 waffles!!!
Sitting here in tears
wanting to yell at someone
instead choosing to 
write and write some more!!
Was going to send a 
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email to a couple of friends
and decided against that.
Decided instead to write here ~
and try to 
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I turned the TV off, 
one boy is playing games on his phone,
one boy is at athletics,
one boy is playing on the XBox
and one is outside being watched by my sweet hubby!!
So thankful he able to remain 
calm and patient
when all I want to do is react!!!