Thinking ~

It’s what we all do at different times of the day
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately ~
~ why don’t I seem to have enough time to get done the things I want to do
~why do I feel I am always rushing to get the things I need to do done
~ been asked if I have done everything on my bucket list
~~ heck I don’t think I even have a bucket list
~ am I supposed to be doing something I am not doing
~ why do I feel so unsettled right now
~ why can’t I seem to get on a schedule
~~ both during our week off and our week on duty
~ why do I feel so discomboobulated???
yes that’s a word I just made up
And then I go through my mind
~ we really like our jobs here at the Boys Ranch
~ we see we are building positive relationships with the boys
~ we are better off financially then we have ever been
~ we are both healthier than we have been in a long time
~ we don’t really want for anything; 
oh there are some things we would like to be different such as 
relationships with some family members
I know what I am missing
~ being involved in a church family; we enjoy the worship services at MCH Chapel, the messages are great, directed towards real life issues facing the children in care at MCH and even to us personally but it’s not our church  YET on the flip side it’s hard to find a church family when we try to take advantage of having a week off and being able to travel and see the area we live in, going camping, going to the ocean and just enjoying being together
~ making new friends; we have connected with some of the other couples we work with yet on our off week each couple is off doing the things they want/need to do so where else do we make friends
Sometimes I think I think too much.
I want to ask someone, sit down over a cup of coffee, go to dinner with people and build relationships out of our work atmosphere but don’t even know where to find people
and then thinking I need to write letters, send an email or a card but during our week on it seems there is never time and on our off week I am catching up on sleep, spending time with my sweet hubby, doing fun things or just plain hibernating without any demands on my time
so I find myself asking
what’s a gal supposed to do
do I schedule stuff
do I just stay busy to say I’m busy
do I just keep doing what I’m doing
and feel like I am missing something
but what is that SOMETHING?
I don’t know
I just don’t know
So I guess I just keep plugging along,
keep thinking about things
and moving one foot in front of the other

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