I began the 40 Days of Sugar Fasting on July 22, 2023 and finished on August 31, 2023. If you scroll to the bottom you can read each days’ lesson. I am excited to see how the Lord continues to work in my life as I Keep On Keeping On w/Him.
9.1.23 ~ Day 41 of 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ “He’s Not Done with You Yet”
I love how Wendy Speakes began this chapter “Surprise! You thought you were done, but you’re never really done!
One of the first things to jump out at me when I began this study was “Choices” ~ we always have choices; choices of what to eat and when? What to wear? Where to go? Who to speak to? Choices, so many choices of every day.
On page 208 she states “You don’t need me to lead you another day.” And immediately my mind began reminiscing about our last session with Tom (our therapist when I was dealing with the incest and abuse issues of my childhood) and how he kept saying “you have the tools you need to move forward, you don’t need me to hold your hand, it’s time for you to use the skills and tools you have learned.” And I’m reminded that I have learned about a lot of tools over the past 40 days and it’s time to move forward ~ utilize the tools I have learned.
Another thought was “I have always been a person needing/wanting others to tell me what to do, to meet my needs because I haven’t trusted myself so much of my life.” OUCH ~ it’s time to fly BUT REMEMBER I’ve got the best co-pilot of all ~ Poppa God to walk with me, encourage me and He will never leave me alone.
Another word that jumped out at me on page 209 is “commit” ~ I have to commit to make healthy choices, positive choices, to focus on where and what Poppa God wants me to focus on.
Wendy continues with “keep walking it out, take one step at a time, one hard day at a time, one tempting meal at a time, read one passage of scripture at a time.” I hear: make a choice to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Things I have learned and need to remember:
- Give thanks for how God has an ongoing commitment to me!
- Value myself because God values me.
- The truth sets me free ~ the truth is that I control what I eat, not the other way around.
- It’s okay if I choose to have something with added sugar ~ it’s my choice, but choose wisely.
- Remember to ask myself “am I really hungry or am I just bored?” Before I eat XYZ.
- Remember I am never alone, even if I feel alone; Ask Poppa God to surround me with His love instead of reaching for XYZ.
- Remember life is a marathon not a sprint! One step at a time.
- Every day is a new day!
- The battle is not mine alone!!
- Ask, Seek, Know! That Poppa God is always available and wants to hear from me, not just about the big things but each and every little detail of my life.
- Remember I am enough! I have enough and if I am in need, God will provide whatever those needs are.
- Actions speak louder than words!
- Stay the course, stay committed to live daily for the Lord.
One of my most favorite verses from this book is Proverbs 34:8-10
~ taste and see the Lord is good
~ take refuge in the Lord, He will honor my refuge in Him
~ trust the Lord in all matters, not just the big things but all the little things
~ continue to see the Lord, He will provide everything I need
- Be Intentional
- Be Committed
- Be Specific
- Keep my focus on what is important ~ Poppa God and the task at hand
- Remember it’s okay to be quiet, to sit and listen.
- Don’t be complacent
- Be persistently persistent
- Be alert
- Keep Going
- Be consistent!
My relationship with sugar ~ described perfectly by Rebecca K Reynolds
Sugar because I’m tired—
because there’s simply too much to do
and no way to do it.
Sugar because it’s fast—
and I need 30 more minutes
of strength.
Sugar because I’m lonely—
because something sweet tastes like
human touch feels.
Sugar because it’s cheap—
one buck instead of five.
Sugar because I didn’t plan—
didn’t take time to prep
to stand against the current.
Sugar because I’m sad—
about so many things,
and for two seconds I can forget.
Sugar because I don’t want to move—
and sugar sits here with me.
Sugar because I’m scared—
of what might pull me
if I were fit.
Sugar because I’m so angry—
I don’t care what happens.
Sugar because I’m ashamed—
of how far I’ve let it go already.
Sugar because I’m addicted—
caught in a drunken cycle
of lows and highs.
Sugar because she loved by sugar—
when she wanted to give me comfort,
and I remember.
Sugar because I haven’t learned to value—
what is simple and beautiful.
Sugar because I don’t trust—
that manna will appear again in the morning.
Sugar because I don’t believe—
I will ever adjust.
Sugar because those first three days—
are war.
Sugar because tomorrow—
tomorrow—
tomorrow I’ll start.
Sugar because I never can see—
that every single today
is the first day
of the rest of a better life.
My Biggest Takeaway
Be Persistently Persistent making Consistent Choices
Seek the Lord Daily
Be Specific
Ask, Seek, Know
8.31.23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 40 “Live Like it’s True!”
I like this picture, it is a picture of my daily goal…to begin each day with time in the Word, chatting with Poppa God. As I sat reflecting this morning about the past 40 days and my sugar fast…some days were great, some others weren’t but that’s okay because isn’t that how life is ~ some days are good, some are not so good.
When I think about what the verse above says “Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad in all our days.” I think of Philippians 4:4 –
And how each morning is a new day! Which means each day I get to make a choice – to have a good day, to rejoice always, to make positive choices whether it be for something I eat or drink, read or watch.
As I read this last chapter I underlined a lot of different things and added comments ~
- I’ve gotten pretty good at feeding my emotions with food NOW I want to feed those emotions with TRUTH from Poppa God.
- I was at the end of trying because I’d tried it all OH how often I have said “I’m tired of trying!!
- Every day I have an opportunity to make a choice, many choices BUT today I affirm I have made a choice to believe that God has faithfully filled me each and every day to be satisfied in Him.
- I am capable of stopping the merry go round of lies and declare the truth
- I am able to choose and believe that God has filled me, that He has satisfied me and that I don’t need sugar or food to satisfy my emotions BECAUSE God has and will supply all my needs and He has never failed me.
- Keep in step with what is true and with how the Holy Spirit directs my life.
- Stand Firm
- Do not let my burdens overrun me
- Walk in the love of the Holy Spirit.
- Seek the fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control those are the fruits I need to fill my body and soul with!!!
- Remember to stay close to Poppa God as the closer I am to Him, I won’t be chasing things of the world to satisfy me BECAUSE ONLY POPPA GOD CAN TRULY SATISFY!!!
My prayer as I finish this focus on 40 Days of Sugar Fasting is that the lessons I have learned will have a lasting effect on me. I will consciously make good choices and if I so choose to grab that candy bar I won’t beat myself up…the candy bar is not bad, I’m not bad, eating the candy bar is a choice; I’m the daughter of the King! The KING who loves me, satisfies me and will never fail me.
********
Stay tuned for tomorrow, so see what is next on the horizon for me as I continue to Seek, Ask and Know all the things that Poppa God has in store for me.
8.30.23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 39 “God Wants Your Life, Not Your Sugar”
The question was asked….did you think this fast was about the sugar? For me, it’s a yes and no. I think for me it’s become more about awareness of what and how much I am putting in my mouth! But also not just about the food but what I put in my heart and soul!!!
Our bodies…Poppa God wants all of me!!!
One of the first chapters in this book talked about the “all or nothing” mindset. God doesn’t want me to focus my mind/thoughts just on food – He wants me to focus on Him. God wants me to have balance in my life…BUT the only thing He wants all of ~ is ME!!! He wants me to give my all to Him. He doesn’t want me choosing this part or another part, He wants all of me!!!
I am reminded of this song, The Secret Place by Michael Booth. I first heard it sung by our friend Roy Morris. I have listened to it so many times, I identify with it…often asking myself what is behind my secret doors, what do I want to keep hidden from Poppa God? In reality, I can’t keep anything hidden from Him, but what I can do is open the door and face what is in those private rooms. And that is what Jesus wants from me. He doesn’t want a part of me ~ HE WANTS ALL OF ME!!!
One of my struggles has always been comparing myself to others and usually not in a good way…BUT GOD wants me to not conform to the world, He doesn’t want me focusing on what the world focuses on, He want me to focus on Him!!!
Here are the words to The Secret Place ~
My heart is like a house
One day I let the Savior in
There are many rooms
Where we would visit now and then
But then one day He saw that door
I knew the day had come too soon
I said, “Jesus, I’m not ready
For us to visit that room
‘Cuz that’s a place in my heart
Where even I won’t go
I have some things hidden there
I don’t want no one to know”
But He handed me the key
With tears of love on His face
He said, “I want to make you clean
Let me go in your secret place.”
So I opened up the door
And as the two of us walked in
I was so ashamed
His light revealed my hidden sin
But when I think about that room now
I’m not afraid any more
‘Cuz I know my hidden sin
No longer hides behind that door
That was a place in my heart
Where even I wouldn’t go
I had some things hidden there
I didn’t want no one to know
But He handed me the key
With tears of love on His face
And He made me clean
I let Him in my secret place
Is there a place in your heart
Where even you won’t go?
********
Is there a place that you keep hidden?
I know for me, the more I open the doors to my secret rooms, the better I feel emotionally and spiritually and I make better choices.
8.30. 23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 38 “Getting Down to the Root”
Be rooted in the Lord like the tree by the river, its roots go deep. Lord help me to stay strong in You!!! Psalm 1:1-3
Balance…I remember once Tom (my therapist) told me to stand on a balance beam. And asked me what did I have to do to stand firm on the balance beam? I remember standing with my toes and heels on either side of the beam and how I rocked back and forth. I was not steady at all. But when I stood with both of my feet totally on the beam I was stable. And when I didn’t look at my feet but kept my gaze in front of me and looking forward…what a concept to use and reflect on today…if I keep my focus on the Lord, facing forward HE will keep me balanced.
If I want to have pleasant thoughts, I need to think about pleasant things.
If I want to be rooted in His Word, I need to be in His Word
If I want my eating life to be healthy, I need to put healthy food into me.
Whatever I want, I need my roots to be those things.
- Remember just as truth nourishes healthy thoughts, then lies nourish unhealthy thoughts. Seek the truth!!!
- God’s Word says He makes all things new!
- God loves me and nothing can change that!
- The joy of the Lord is where I get my strength!
- I am eternally and abundantly loved!
Focus on TRUTH!!! Don’t let satan’s lies control my thoughts!
Stop looking for THINGS to satisfy me; let God be what satisfies me!
When I’m tempted by the lies, speak TRUTH!
Remember “when you are firmly planted (strong roots), nourished by healthy things that feed not only my body but my soul, I will be strong and healthy. What goes in is what goes out…so fill myself with God and His truth, not leaving any room for satan to grab ahold of me.”
8.30,23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 37 “Keep Knocking, Keep Asking“
- Keep moving forward!!!
- Seeking and living for the Lord is not a One and Done – every day we must Seek, Ask and Knock
One and Done – not like the Covid Johnson & Johnson. God doesn’t tell us to come to me once, He says come to Him daily!
- Persistently Persist
- Consistently, Daily, Every moment of every day!
God doesn’t give up on me, He doesn’t give into selfishness or pride. He wants us to come to Him for everything, the little things and the big things, for the hangnail that is hurting like crazy and the aching heart when a mama’s heart is hurting for her children.
Wendy Speake’s shares on page 190/191 three ways to pray:
1. Ask God to inspire your prayers. Ask Him for clarity!
2. Pray like a squeaky wheel. Not just once and done…keep sharing, keep asking, keep talking your/my concerns, desires, hurts and needs.
3. Trust God, that He will do what needs to be done in His timing.
Jesus tells me over and over to keep asking. Remember what my mom would tell me “Do what you are told because I said so.” Isn’t Poppa God’s word more powerful than hers? Jesus keeps telling me to keep coming back to Him, again and again. Be consistent! Just do it!!!
8.30.23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 36 “Two Masters”
* When something (sugar, money, worry) other than Christ has mastery over me, it’s easy to take my eyes off of Jesus.
- When I allow my focus to be on worldly things to try to satisfy me I become undisciplined, unruly and out of control ~ lacking of self control in all areas of my life: my eating, my spending, my language, how I spend. My time.
- One thing I’ve noticed during these past 36 days I get easily distracted, not able to stay on task, not fulfilling my obligations and responsibilities and then I get mad at myself AND OTHERS. When my focus is first on God then my days are fulfilled.
- Lord help me to focus on
Dear Poppa God help me to come and sit in your lap, filling up on what You have for me. Help me to keep my focus on You and whatever task is before me. Help me to stay committed and focused on what you want for me. Amen.
8.30.23 ~ Day 35 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ “Once You’re Free, You’re Free to Share”
One of the things I have been reminded of over and over again is that God wants me to share my life with others, but in His way, not mine. God wants me to share how He has blessed me, healed me from some very strong hurts and how He continues to show up in my life.
It’s important to remember sometimes God calls me to say yes and yet at other times he says no or even not now. I need to learn to LISTEN to Poppa God and remember it’s His timing not mine.
As I reflect on the above verse I am reminded that prosper isn’t necessarily money – but all the ways that I am blessed. Just off the top of my head: Ron has a good job, we have a warm and pretty dry place to lay our heads (we did find out we have a leak in our bathroom that needs to be fixed this weekend), that we have food for our belly’s!
Specific – I need to remember not only to be consistent but to be specific in my prayer time or as I’m starting to call it “chatting with Poppa God”
The saying “the truth shall set you free”
~ God has set me free from so many things: not having to live as a victim; the things that happened to me as a child/teenager no longer control me. As I continue this journey help me to be free from the addiction of sugar! Of letting anger control my every action. Of only thinking of the bad things that could happen but instead focus on the blessings that have happened to me.
8.30.23 ~ Day 34 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ “Remember”
Once again I am way behind in writing and also some reading…but it is what it is and I will try to extend myself the grace I give to others ~ it is what it is.
Remember ~ if I would consistently keep my Gratitude journal going I know my life would go smoother because I would be focusing on the positive things in my life…
Consistently ~ maybe that should be my word for the rest of this year! Consistently, doing each day what I MUST do to keep my focus on the Lord, keeping focused on the positive in life, giving thanks every day for the many blessings the Lord has bestowed on me!
- Will you remember what the Lord has done for you?
- Poppa God wants me to be faithful, faithful in my following Him, spending time with Him, seeking Him
- My belief in Him gets stronger each day when I put my faith in Him!
- When I forget to remember the good things of my life, the blessings God has bestowed on me that is when the grumbling begins, the depression escalates.
- Purpose in my heart to remember the faithful way that Poppa God has provided for me/us.
When I remember God’s faithfulness, I am more apt to stay faithful to Him!
- Don’t get stuck on the past hurts; focus on the blessings of today!
- Poppa God has proven He is faithful; NOW I must remain faithful! God has never let me down, why would He start now? ~ a question my Bestie and I ask each other often!!!
My prayer: Lord help me to remember, REMEMBER, how blessed I am. Help me to remember the lessons I have learned and to utilize the skills that You and others have taught me so I don’t keep going round and round the merry go round like a crazy woman! Amen.
8.24.23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 33 “Brick by Brick”
I have often said I am my own worst enemy. I tattle on myself when I do things wrong and often times just when I think I have done something wrong.
Building blocks ~ remember things build on each other. What I learned yesterday is on top of what I learned the day before. My building blocks need to be Ongoing ~ Healthy eating ~ it’s not a one and done; remember it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Ali controlling or God controlling ~
Our choices become barriers that hold us back from health, wholeness and freedom. Am I allowing my choices to control me or am I in control of my choices.
**God doesn’t simply rebuild broken walls; He resurrects broken lives!!!
I’ve lived undisciplined ~ self-control, good choices, good time management – stop squandering away my days.
What structures, what building blocks do I need in place for me to be strong and healthy? What tools do I have that just get tossed aside? Recommit! Keep going! Stay aware!
8.23.23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 32 “Wake Up”
Don’t be complacent, don’t rely on what has worked or been done in the past to keep me moving forward.
Do I still have walls up? What keeps me from moving forward? What walls do I hide behind?
Recommit!
Don’t be lazy; be vigilant! ~ Ask what keeps me moving forward?
Have I grown satisfied with being unsatisfied?
**Are the things I am living for worth Christ dying on the cross for me?**
If I truly believe I have been bought with the precious blood of God’s own Son, how can I remain lukewarm?
August 22, 2023 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 31 Praying for Healing
The timing of this lesson can only be God led…I have been struggling with my prayer life, heck I don’t even think I have a prayer life anymore. I’m not even sure how to pray! I know how to ask for prayer ~ that I’m pretty good at, at least I think I am. LOL
Notes from today’s lesson ~
*. A pastor dealing with his own cancer battle stated “I’ve learned to ask the Lord for whatever sort of healing He wants for me. I simply pray “Lord, You know I have cancer (we can fill in the blank) and what I would like is for You to heal me. I’m hoping for my body but perhaps You want to heal my thinking or my speaking or my relationships. Heal whatever You want to heal in me today.” Not my will but Poppa God’s will!
- Revised prayer for me (and others if they want to pray it) Poppa God, You know I have this particular illness and You know all that relationship that needs healing too. But I want You to heal me however You want to heal me. Heal my cells and heal my thinking and heal my spending (which is way out of control even when we don’t have any extra money) and heal my family relationships too. Bring them all into submission with Your Will for my life! In Jesus name. Amen.
- When you believe in the goodness of a sovereign God~~and the sovereignty of a good God~~your faith in Him transcends the specifics of your prayer requests. Your desire for the Healer precedes all desire for the healing.
- THE KEY TO PRAYING ~ Pray specifically, boldly believing God will answer according to His good and overarching will.
- Fasting is going without that which you thought you needed in order to experience the power and the presence of the One you need most of all.
Prayer for today: Thank you Poppa God for knowing me. You are well aware of all that concerns me medically and relationally today. I invite You, Jesus to heal me ~ whatever that means to You. You know just what I need and I trust You. For my good and for Your glory. In Jesus name. Amen.
As I read this lesson and the prayers of the pastor and the one for me at the end of the lesson, I found myself thinking back to a counseling session with Marla and how she told me to put Jesus in the empty chair and just talk to him like I was talking to her. To be specific about my needs, to give thanks for specific things I know only the Lord could do for me and to just tell Him what was on my heart, just like I would write a letter to my bestie, just being open and honest.
Poppa God I’ve brought us each a chair here to the beach…
my favorite place to sit and think and dream and ponder. Lord as I sit with you today, I have so many complaints and ailments: my leg hurts to walk on it, sometimes to the point of tears and wanting to collapse. Poppa God I feel like I am always whining and complaining and YET I have much to be thankful for: a husband you have given me, who has loved me through the hard times and the good times. Who has held me when I cried in fear, shame and guilt. Who has encouraged me on the darkest of all days to remind me that I am never alone, even when it feels like it. A husband who has taught me what it means to love unconditionally and to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Two sons who have turned out to be great dad’s and husbands in-spite of the mom who wasn’t the best of mom’s so much of the time when they were growing up. They each have a beautiful family who they love and care for in so many ways, striving to raise their children in ways they could only imagine. Two daughters-in-love who love our sons and all their children and who each give so much to our boys and grands.
I have much to be thankful for in having a warm and safe place to live, who has been given the opportunity to travel and see so many things that have been created by You. We (Ron & I) may not be successful to some as we don’t have a huge house, two cars and money in the bank ~ heck it often seems like we are working hard, well at least Ron is, and we don’t have much to show for it. BUT Poppa God we have never gone hungry, we have never had to live on the street, we have never truly been alone and those are all things to give great thanks for.
Lord, yes we have needs. I need a new eye, I need the infection that is going on in my eye socket to heal ~ it seems to be draining more and more and I think of the money it will cost for a new eye $5000 and wonder where the heck is it going to come from? I need my leg to quit hurting when I stand even for a few minutes or try to walk the dog. I’m frustrated as I do my swimming and exercises and yet see no relief from the pain. Lord our truck needs the rear brakes fixed and desperately need four new tires…all again requiring money I have not a clue where it will come from. Poppa God those are just the big things, well they feel big to me, they seem unattainable!
And when I think about my/our needs I begin to think I am being selfish when I look around and see friends and family dealing with life threatening cancer diagnoses. Hearing of whole towns being wiped out because of major fires, finding out a dear friend’s friend was murdered in a senseless killing and not being able to make sense of it. Is there any sense to it?
Poppa God I just want to scream…I can’t do this any more, whatever this is! I want to run and hide and disappear but then I think, not really do I want to disappear – I want to see my grandchildren grow up and have healthy relationships, I want to see our sons each have a good life with their wives and to know the joy of becoming a grandparent. Because everyone knows the best job is being a Grammy and a Grandpa!!!
Poppa God I feel like I could go on and on with what I think I need and what I want but the bottom line is that I just want to love and be loved, to not feel like every day is a struggle and to be able to help and bring joy to others. So Poppa God I claim boldly my life verse today ~
Thank you Poppa God for letting me whine and cry and being able to stand strong in my faith that You are in control and to remember that even though at times I feel alone…I am truly not. Now be with me Lord as I prepare Ron’s lunch for work, pick up the grandsons from school and enjoy their chatter about their school day. And do all the things I think I need to do, well just because I can because all things are possible with God’s help. Amen!
8.21.23 ~ Day 30 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ At the Table with Jesus
- We have all been invited into God’s household through faith.
Lord help me in my unbelief!!! I just want to scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum and then go to Costco and get a chocolate cake filled with chocolate mousse and covered in chocolate ~ guess it’s a good thing I don’t have a Costco card anymore!!! All I can say is Lord, help me continue to push through and to make good choices!
- Talk intimately with Poppa God who wants me to come to Him in all matters.
As I read this lesson I kept picturing me sitting at a little kitchen table with a cup of coffee and Poppa God sitting with me, just listening, shaking His head in encouragement, wiping my tears away. Some of the best conversations are around a table with a special friend…oh how I need that today…
(I wish I could draw – to visualize on paper what my heart is seeing)
Again, all I can say is I will push through. I have things that need to get done: make Ron’s lunch for work, pick up Alex from school, make something for dinner and the list could go on and on…so many projects and yet I feel stuck…so
Poppa God help me to make good choices today. If I can’t make the best choice, help me to make the better choice. Amen
8.20.23 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 29 “Ditto”
Things are hard right now. I’m doubting, I’m questioning, I’m wondering and yes, I’m worrying too! As I opened the lesson for today I find myself asking,..what is it all for?
Romans 8:26-27
Says that the Holy Spirit helps in my weakness…I’m feeling very incapable right now. Wondering why things happen and don’t happen. Why life seems so full of struggles. A dear friend of mine lost a dear and special friend of hers to murder ~ she too is asking why? How does this bring glory to God? And at the same time she is asking those questions, in my own little world and struggles and challenges I am asking the same thing. And at the same time I am feeling pretty petty being worried about money for an artificial eye when that is nothing compared to the loss of a mama, sister, and friend.
Says that all things work together for the glory of God for those who believe in Him…and I hear my friend asking “what good comes from someone being murdered, ripped apart from her sweet daughter?” I have no answers.
And so I am trying to push myself through today, focus on others and not myself, looking forward to seeing our grands this week yet my heart and insides are struggling. So I read on. On page 156 of 40 Days of Sugar Fasting, Wendy Speakes’ says “Marriage is hard, parenting is hard, life in this fallen world is just plain hard, and at times, I simply don’t know how to pray ~ for myself or others. And am reminded that Poppa God has sent a helper, the Holy Spirit to intercede when I don’t have the words or know how to proceed.
So I keep reading ~
*Praise Him for his continued care!
*Nothing is too difficult for Him!
*Nothing that I am worried or concerned about is too big for God!
All I can say is Lord, help me in my disbelief and to hang on, if only by a purple thread, trusting and believing that You are in control.
August 19, 2023 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting Days 25 to 28 ~ All Caught Up!
Day 25 ~ God Cares About the Details!
The verse for today is found in Ezra 8:21-23 ~ Seek God in all matters!
I am reminded that God cares about ALL and EVERYTHING about me…from the little things like the mosquito bites that itch like crazy to my worry about how we are going to get the $5000 to pay for a new artificial eye.
So often life seems so overwhelming and that’s when it’s easier to fall back on the familiar of reaching for that chocolate candy bar or a bag of chips & salsa w/a huge dollop of sour cream!
I need to be reminded that what is important to me is important to Poppa God. He wants me to share all my concerns and cares with him.
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all my cares on Him!
I love the picture above…one of my favorite places to be is near the water, whether it be a river, creek or even the ocean. As I sit by the water I picture taking every care and concern I have and dropping them into the water to be carried away forever. And that’s what I need to do ~ turn all my cares over to Poppa God. And let Him take them away!
Dear God thank you for all the reminders in my lesson today and from your Word that I matter to you, that you made me in your image and that You love me for me!! Lord help me to turn to you instead of food or sugary treats when I feel overwhelmed and anxious. Amen.
“What matters to me matters to Him because I matter to Him!”
Day 26 ~ As for Me and My House
Every day we make choices…my struggle is being consistent in making healthy food choices along with choices that keep me out of the pits of depression.
I know that on the days my focus is on the Lord, being in His word and trusting Him my depression is less. I feel so alone at times but the scriptures remind me that Jesus knows my struggles, knows what I am tempted by AND IF I would just turn to Him I would feel and be healthier. The pull to the familiar and giving into my fears is so strong…Lord help me to keep turning to You!
I am reminded in this lesson as well as from life experiences that when I turn my focus from me to others my health improves, not just my physical health but my emotional and spiritual health as well. I remember the lesson that Pastor Charles taught me many years ago…Jamie was in Iraq, I was paralyzed in fear that something was going to happen to him and I spent most of that year either in bed or crying or both. One day Charles told me to get out of bed, call a friend and offer to clean his home (his wife had passed away about four months before). I called and made arrangements to go to J’s house. I cleaned his home from top to bottom and after about 3 1/2 hours I did begin to feel better and was excited that J liked what I had done. I try to remember when I get in a funk to reach out. Doesn’t mean I always do, but I do try.
God tells us in Mark 9:17-29 that as long as we have faith HE will answer our prayers. It’s important to remember that All things are possible for those who have faith in Jesus!
And then I have to claim Mark 9:23-24 Lord help me in my unbelief!!!
My prayer: Lord help me to CHOOSE You each and every day, in each and every decision I have to make. Whether it be choosing to eat something healthy or crawling out of the pits of depression. Amen.
Day 27 ~ The Kind of Fasting God Wants
Wendy Speake’s shares on page 146 “Fasting isn’t a formula to get what we want but a humble invitation for God to do what He wants in our lives.” And I am reminded it is easy to let the noisy and busy world distract me from what I need to focus on – Poppa God. Again, making choices. I know in my head that taking the focus off of myself is so important not only in making healthy food choices but also in doing and following the will of the Lord.
My prayer today: Lord help me to focus on You and to stop worrying about what I’m going to eat or not eat. To just stop worrying!!! Help me to continue to turn everything that causes me concern over to you, to lay it at the foot of the cross!
Day 28 ~ Feed My Sheep
The message through this lesson continues with turning my focus from myself to others. To stop worrying about my issues and that when worry comes to mind to turn it over to Poppa God. And I know it’s much easier said than done!!! I know too, that the more I focus on God and His will for my life, the less my worry and fears take control of me. On page 153, Wendy Speake’s encourages me that every time I am tempted to eat something full of sugar to turn to Jesus, to stop and refocus my thinking on the Lord and ask Him how I can encourage others.
In discussing “feeding my sheep” with a friend we find we tend to be good caretakers of others and lose taking care of ourselves in the midst of life. I believe there has to be a balance of helping others and remembering to help ourselves. Wendy Speake’s continues by saying that we need to “trust God to take care of us so that we can be available to hep others.” That’s the hard one for me ~ trusting God to take care of me, it’s so much easier to fall into the worry pit. BUT that is where I need to grow my faith and trust in God by taking all my thoughts captive to Him and turning every care and concern over to Him.
August 18, 2023 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Catching Up Day 20 to Day 24
I am so far behind and it really wasn’t bothering me being seven days behind reading as I know I am where the Lord wants me to be…but this past week has been hard and so I decided I needed more time in the lessons and the way to do that was to read Days 20 to 24 altogether.
To say I’m struggling is an understatement…I don’t know why but I’m always amazed at how fast I am able to go down the depression trail because climbing out is so hard, but believe me going down is quick and easy…so today I’m trying to turn that around.
I heard CharlieBoy early this morning and instead of trying to ignore him I pushed myself out of bed and took him for a quick walk…I am sure he was thankful as he did a full on business…and then back to the trailer and I gave him breakfast. Yesterday he didn’t get fed till after 10a – and I felt bad that my laziness was taken out on him. This morning he ate his breakfast with gusto, drank a bowl full of water and then came and laid at my feet. He was content!
That’s what I want “to be content.” I haven’t been the last few days. My eye is infected, a 2+ hour wait at the eye doctor, then another appointment with the ocularist and the news that I needed a new eye. $5000! Paid in full before he makes it!!! And I went down that slippery slope so fast…got grumpy, ate chocolate ice cream with mint & raspberry AND then felt horrible after I ate it. Went down memory lane of when I was first told I needed a new eye and how my mom just kept asking me if I wanted something to eat…no I just want to be loved. And then being angry at my dad again…for lying in court when we sued the owners of the ranch where I hurt my eye ~ my dad told the court we weren’t allowed to be in the barn ~ A BIG FAT LIE!! And the jury said since I was where I wasn’t supposed to be they sided with the defendant. IF my dad had not lied and insurance would have paid out there would be a trust to pay for all my eye medical instead I have to fight the insurance company each and every time to get a new artificial eye paid for. Insurance likes to deny saying “it’s cosmetic! And once I even had an insurance person tell me to “just wear an eye patch!”” Just thinking about all this again this morning my temper is flaring…focus girl!!!
So I opened my book to Day 20 “The World’s Goods Aren’t as Good.”
I John 2:15-17 The Message says ” Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.“
Ouch…stop seeking what the world has to offer and seek Jesus and his ways for me!!!
- Be honest about the things that crown Him out of my life!
- God isn’t telling me to hate all the good things He made in this world. He just doesn’t want me to love them more than Him!
- Adultery is the act of leaving one love for a relationship with another. Wendy Speake’s shares on page 116 “I am told to STOP seeking out the things that only satisfy for a moment; instead seek HIM who satisfies at all times!“
Prayer: Dear Lord I want my heart to be fully devoted to You, not to this world or the things of the world. Forgive me. I’m sorry it is taking me so long to learn this important message from You. You’ve loved me so faithfully and Your love never ends. Let me hear You and see You and know You as I intentionally pull away from the things of this world and set my eyes upon eternity. Amen.
Day 21 ~ Boredom Can Be a Trigger Too!!!
Wendy Speake’s begins the chapter on page 118 with “WE GRAZE ON FOOD ALL DAY LONG, misreading boredom for hunger. And while hunger is a physical emptiness, boredom feels empty as well and we tend to get the two confused. Perhaps we think if I fill my belly, then I will feel better. (That was definitely what was going on yesterday afternoon for me – seeking anything to make me feel better emotionally and physically!). Except overeating makes us sleepy and sleepiness makes us idle and idleness makes us more bored and boredom makes us even more hungry. It’s a sad, lethargic cycle, and we can’t break out of it because we don’t have the energy.” YEP the vicious merry go round begins to spin faster and faster!!! We are up and then down and up and down and then all around like a spinning top out of control!
- I find myself spiritually bankrupt when I stop focusing on my faith walk. I need to purposely and intentionally focus on God every day!!!
Hebrews 12:1-3 tells me to persevere!!!
Wake Up and Be Alert! Help me to remember that I need to open my eyes and keep them on Jesus, because He’s run this marathon before and He is with me as I am running it today!
Thank you Poppa God for never running away from me, though I often doze off from time to time. Help me to wake up and run with endurance and perseverance to finish this race with confidence, sharing Your love with those I come into contact with including myself! Help me to stay alert and to be strong!!! And remember I can do anything with You on my team!!!
Day 22 ~ Spiritual & Mental Clarity
- On my own, I lack the mental & spiritual clarity I need for the task at hand. Seek God daily!!!
- As I turn my focus on God I am able to glean daily insight and alertness, discerning what deserves a yes and deserves a no. And remembering it is okay to say no!
- Sugar and other false fillers dim my vision BUT when seeking God by spending time in His word and practicing self-control when it comes to what I eat and drink, getting enough good sleep gives me the clarity I need to make it through each day.
- Remember the whole point of this is not just giving up sugar but learning to run to Poppa God instead of sugary sweets or other outside means to satisfy me.
- I am not fasting from sugary food in order to fixate on healthy eating, the whole point is to keep my eyes on Jesus!
- Feast on Gods’ word and not the nearest cookie or candy bar!!!
Day 23 ~ Hunger Pains
- Remember the goal of this 40 Day Sugar Fast isn’t to simply detox from sugar and transfer my focus to sugar-free recipes; it’s to thirst for Poppa God as though I am wasting away in a dry and parched land, to long for Him and grow in my relationship with Him!
- Let your hunger pangs become like church bells calling you to prayer
- Eating sugar free may enhance my life, but only the LORD Himself can transform me!
- God promises that when the world fails me, He is my portion, He is enough!!!
I want to want You more today than I did yesterday or the day before!
Day 24 ~ Healing Past Hurts
When I first saw the title of this lesson I must say…oh come on, I’ve been healed from the past abuse, I’ve had enough counseling to fill a river overflowing! But then God spoke to me!!!
Yes, I have been healed of so much pain, for the most part I can think of my parents without cringing. I don’t live in anger all the time anymore. I don’t hurt others because I am hurting.
Yet there are times I still hurt, things are said that still sting
and so I must remember 
I need to continually seek freedom from my addictions and the negative self-talk that I am so good at. And the truth of the matter is ~ maybe I am addicted to the negative self-talk as it propels me to seek others to meet my need to be loved. OUCH!! And the path to negative self-talk is easy to find…I need you Lord to help me focus each day on your healing in my life. Poppa God speak truth and love to me each time the devil tries to throw me under the bus, back to the old ways. Help me to grow and love myself because YOU loved and adored me first. Help me to continue to change my thinking, my feelings and my living to become totally healed. In Your precious name, Amen!!!
Wendy Speake’s states on page 131 “I am loved beyond measure and was created for the explicit purpose of a safe and saving love relationship with my Creator. The Lord will fill me with the blessed assurance the HE sees me, HE cares for me and longs to redeem my hurting soul every time the devil tries to make me hurt again. Redeeming broken things is what He does best.”
Lord help me to speak Psalm 51:10 every minute of every day when the devil begins to attack me.
Being loved by Poppa God is a not a one-and-done like the Johnson & Johnson Covid shot…the Holy Spirit lives in me, perfecting me, healing me and transforming me each and every day into the likeness of Christ himself.
Lord help me to HEAR YOUR words as you speak new words over me ~ to replace the words that hurt me in the past!
The following poem by Rebecca K. Reynolds speaks volumes to me:
Rebecca K. Reynolds ~ January 19, 2019
Sugar because I’m tired—
because there’s simply too much to do
and no way to do it.
Sugar because it’s fast—
and I need 30 more minutes
of strength.
Sugar because I’m lonely—
because something sweet tastes like
human touch feels.
Sugar because it’s cheap—
one buck instead of five.
Sugar because I didn’t plan—
didn’t take time to prep
to stand against the current.
Sugar because I’m sad—
about so many things,
and for two seconds I can forget.
Sugar because I don’t want to move—
and sugar sits here with me.
Sugar because I’m scared—
of what might pull me
if I were fit.
Sugar because I’m so angry—
I don’t care what happens.
Sugar because I’m ashamed—
of how far I’ve let it go already.
Sugar because I’m addicted—
caught in a drunken cycle
of lows and highs.
Sugar because she loved by sugar—
when she wanted to give me comfort,
and I remember.
Sugar because I haven’t learned to value—
what is simple and beautiful.
Sugar because I don’t trust—
that manna will appear again in the morning.
Sugar because I don’t believe—
I will ever adjust.
Sugar because those first three days—
are war.
Sugar because tomorrow—
tomorrow—
tomorrow I’ll start.
Sugar because I never can see—
that every single today
is the first day
of the rest of a better life.
- Each time I am triggered to reach for sugar or XXX to heal my hurt, help me choose to REACH for You Poppa God as you are the only one that can heal me from the hurt. No amount of self-medicating will soothe the hurt ~ ONLY YOU, POPPA GOD can heal me!!! Can satisfy me!!
The prayer for today: Jesus do what you are so good at doing…knit me together on the inside, reknit (or recrochet me 😆) and renew me and make me whole again. Fill my empty holes and aching places with Your holy comfort. Help me to transform my thoughts to focus on you. Teach me to love me because You love me. Mend me and let me know the joy of being whole and wholly chosen! In Jesus Name! Amen!
August 15, 2023 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 19 “Have a Sober Mind”
1 Peter 5:8 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Sober ~ people immediately think of alcohol or drugs. Those are not issues for me BUT being in a sugar induced coma is something that I have struggled with and continue needing to be aware of. As well I need to be aware of when I am binge eating or eating in secret.
Addiction ~ can be of anything! For me, its binge eating or burying my head into crocheting and choosing not to deal with anyone or anything. Addiction is the negative of something that could be a positive thing. For example my crocheting a baby set or a new stuffy for someone is not a bad thing, it becomes a bad thing when I only focus on the crocheting to the neglect of other responsibilities. Addiction to me is anything that pulls me from following and loving the Lord and doing His will.
One of the words that Wendy Speakes discusses on page 109 is “legalism.” I think of splitting hairs – trying to rationalize why I can or cannot do something. Choosing what “addiction” I will say is okay or what addiction is bad or negative. Makes me question am I looking for an excuse or reason for doing something or not doing something. But again, God calls us to
Be Alert and Be Sober Minded!
Staying alert is so important. I know when I take my focus off of the Lord is when I get lost or fall into depression or go on a binge eating fiasco…so today I am reminded to Stay Alert! Do I allow myself to self-soothe or self-medicate to numb a part of me? Yes at times! So again I am reminded to Stay Alert! Stay Focused! Instead of running to the numbing of my mind by eating a bag of popcorn or a whole bag of chips…I need to Run to God!!!
And as we discussed at our little Ladies Bible Study this morning I need to remember what Philippians says in 4:11-13 ~ learn to be content in whatever circumstance I find myself in, letting Poppa God be my comforter and guidance counselor even and especially during the hard times!
August 14, 2023 40 Days of Sugar Fast ~ Day 18 “Stumbling Blocks & Dynamite”
When I first read the title my mind immediately went to grocery shopping ~ what a big stumbling block it is for me. I can’t seem to stick to my list which means I spend more money than I should AND it means I don’t use self-control to not buy sweets and such. I noticed over this past week my excuses have been flowing like rapids in a river: Ron needs snacks for his lunches, donuts sound so good for breakfast, one donut is not going to hurt me, Ron wanting Mt. Dew Zero so I have to get my Dr. Pepper Zero – hey it doesn’t have added sugar!!!
BUT then I hear Poppa God say to me as I’m downing the Dr. Pepper and munching on a chocolate Entenmann’s crunch donut…what about your commitment to 40 Days of Fasting NO SUGAR and I hear myself saying excuses? Or reasons? They are one and the same when I am enabling myself. I heard enabling used the other day and I thought I am my own enabler and when spoken out loud it sure doesn’t sound very good.
So digging into this lesson I was all ears, heart and soul!!! Pay Attention Ali!!! It begins with Matthew 5:29-30 about if your right eye causes you to stumble pluck it out or if your right hand causes you to do wrong, chop it off!! My first response is “yes, but you aren’t talking about eating & food…its not like you can just stop eating!!! That’s my excuse BUT I do have control over what I eat, when I eat and why I eat.
So it’s time to RECOMMIT!
To not allow the stumbling blocks that trip me up (not just idols) the little things that turn into big things that causes me to stumble and fall!!! My prayer is “Lord please help me to stand firm and stay committed!” Wendy Speakes states it on Page 106 “Not all stumbling blocks are idols. Some things simply trip us up because we like them a little too much and our attention is pulled off course.” She also asks: “would taking away ________ devastate me?” If my answer is no, it would derail me and/or cause me to dive deep into depression or the deep black hole THEN I do have a problem and I need to eliminate that stumbling block!!!
1 Corinthians 10:23 says: I can do anything I want, I’m an adult no one can tell me not to do something. YET the truth of the matter is those stumbling blocks can keep me from experiencing Poppa God’s love for me!!! Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it!
In the title we mention Dynamite! God is my dynamite, HE is AWESOME! And He can blow up anything that gets in my way of stopping me from loving and being loved by Poppa God.
The prayer that Wendy Speakes shares is my prayer for today (Ali’s paraphrase):
Dear Poppa God. I want to want YOU most of all but I stumble over things that cause me to fall, to not take care of my health by making poor food choices. I want more! I want good things, I want to be able to walk and have energy to do things with my grands. Lord help me to keep my focus on You, help me to knock those stumbling blocks over and out of my way. Help me to stay focused and committed to keeping my word of saying NO to added sugar, YES to swimming 3x a week and to making healthy food choices each time I go to put something in my mouth. Thank you Poppa God for the shaking up of my heart this morning!! I love you Poppa God and I want to love myself the way You love me!!! Amen.
*********
How do you conquer your stumbling blocks?
*********
August 11, 2023 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 17 “Be Quiet & Be Transformed”
Be Quiet ~ I have heard that said to me more times than I can count. One vivid memory was when I started 1st grade and my mom told the teacher “If Alice talks too much, you have my permission to flick her on her cheek to make her be quiet.” I don’t know that my teacher ever did flick me but I do remember thinking “I better learn to keep my mouth shut!”
Maybe being quiet can be a good thing, especially in this context…being quiet and listening to and hearing from Poppa God. Because I know sometimes being quiet is not a good thing: when a child is told to keep secrets. Or in my case hearing my stepdad say “if you tell your mom what we do (sexually abusing me over a period of six months) I will kill her.” Believe me I didn’t tell anyone what was going on, not until eleven years later when I almost lost my hubby and my sons due to the anger I was living with and pouring out on them. I really had to turn the phrase “be quiet” over to Poppa God as I was reading ~ being quiet in a positive way not in a hurtful way. Then I realized that is just like eating…I need to make positive choices about what foods I put into my body. Like I wrote yesterday, sweet treats are okay once in a while, it’s the binging and nighttime over indulging that is not so good.
In Lesson 17, Be Quiet and Be Transformed being quiet is a good thing…being quiet, having a calm still heart and ears open to what the Lord wants me to learn.
Ecclesiastes 5:2 (The Message) reminds me of another verse in the Bible, which I don’t know where the verse is but I remember being at Bible study in Federal Way and Dick asked David to find a certain verse in the Bible and David replied after a few seconds “my Bible doesn’t have that verse!” And then when he found it, it was something about fools speaking in haste. Sometimes I think God wants me to sit, hold my tongue (or my fingers) and just BE, just sit and LISTEN to what HE has to say to me. I’m finding some of that listening to be while I am swimming in the mornings. I’m being prompted to reach out to someone, send a card to someone or even to make a change within in or in what I am doing.
Two words jumped out at me while reading this chapter: babbling and interrupting. I often find myself babbling when I am feeling the need to be a part of something or I want to be noticed – those are not good times for babbling. Interrupting…was something I used to do all the time when I was talking to and with others…my mind would be racing so fast and not truly listening to what the other person was saying that I would interrupt them and then ramble on. I know I don’t interrupt as often as I used to and I try to be aware of listening when others are speaking to me or in this case while I’m reading…sometimes I find myself skimming and then skipping ahead thinking I already know what is being said or written…neither are a good thing.
Wendy Speakes says on page 103 “All my talking and planning can get in the way of hearing God’s good plan for me.” I so needed that reminder today to be slow to speak, open to listening and to seek out what God would want me to say or do. In this case, it has to do with being aware of my eating, don’t do mindless eating like while zoning out in front of the TV.
My take away from today is:
Listen, don’t talk.
Be Quiet and allow others to speak to me.
Don’t zone out, filling my mind and mouth with meaningless calories and garbage shows.
Success for me today: reading and writing in quiet; no music no TV just the sound of the air conditioning buffering Ron’s snoring 😁 (which is sweet music to my ears as it reminds me to give thanks for a husband who loves me, puts me first and is always trying to provide for me.
******
Do you ever have time without music or TV,
Just sitting in the quietness of your thoughts?
August 10, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 16 “Comfort Foods & Retail Therapy”
3 fBlessed be the gGod and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and hGod of all comfort, 4 iwho comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This verse brings lots of peace and comfort as it reminds me that Poppa God comforts me in ALL areas of my life. We are comforted by God so that we can learn to comfort others.
Wendy Speakes shares in this lesson telling us there is nothing wrong with a sweet treat. In fact, God is the creator of all things, including honey, fruit like watermelon and strawberries (two of my favorites!) and many more! These are gifts from Poppa God.
BUT we are warned in Proverbs 25:16 “Have you found honey? Eat only what you need!!! Don’t overdo!”
I know that’s what I forget…that it’s okay to enjoy a sweet treat now and then, it’s when I binge on the box of Swedish Fish or two donuts instead of just one that it causes problems. Sometimes I use food to self-medicate ~ to make myself feel better because I am sad or lonely or scared or _____ (fill in the blank).
But God tells us HE is the one to make me feel better, to help me with pain management, with loneliness or ______. That’s my desire – to run to Poppa God to meet those needs and not use sugar or sweet treats or binge eating to fill the hole(s) I am feeling.
We are told in John 14:1-3 “Do not let your hearts be troubled…I will come and get you.” God is my comforter, He is the only one that can fill the empty holes in my heart due to pain, hurt, anger, loneliness, etc.
My prayer today is: Dear Poppa God please help me to remember to RUN to you to fill any emptiness I may feel at any given time. You are the greatest comforter, help me to be open to allowing you to comfort me. And then as I help to comfort others. Amen.
***********
How are you filling your holes this morning?
August 9, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 15 “Divisive Devices”
The lesson for today began with Jeremiah 2:13
I was having a hard time following exactly what it meant so I looked it up in the Amplified version: “For My people have committed two evils: They have abandoned (rejected) Me, The fountain of living water, And they have carved out their own cisterns, Broken cisterns That cannot hold water. And it made a whole lot more sense to me.
Ali’s paraphrase: “Christians have committed two sins: we have abandoned/rejected Poppa God, also known as the fountain of living water, AND we have tried to do things in our/my own way.”
OUCH!!! That hits home…so often I think I can do things my own way. Reminds me of Ron trying to put our shed together a couple of weekends ago. He looked at one picture and began putting it together, he was frustrated it wasn’t going together as easily as he thought it should. I came home and looked at the same picture and then we both tried to figure it out…let’s just say our language was colorful and loud and finally in exasperation we called our son and asked if one of the boys could help us put it together on Saturday. By then it was 100° outside with a heat index even higher!
Needless to say, stopping and getting the help of 12 year old Treyson to put the shed together and 15 year old Christopher to empty out the storage unit was two great decisions.
This was just one example of trying to do things on my/our own. Oh how things seem to go much smoother when we first turn to the Lord to help us figure things out. It’s a lesson I have struggled with for most of my life…I want to do it on my own…but in reality by leaning on Poppa God, reading his Word, seeking Him first makes for a much better attitude, tone and life all the way around.
Wendy Speakes shares on page 93 “I found myself eager to know what my friends had to say to me before I turned my attention to what God had to say to me. A friend of hers publicly confessed her own temptation to turn to social media over and over again, though she longed to turn with such fervor and consistency to the Lord.” OUCH, OUCH and OUCH some more!
There are so many places in the Bible that talks about how we do what we don’t want to be doing and not do the things we should be doing…I can’t find the verse specifically where Paul talks about this ~ so if you know it, please share it with me…thanks! And I know I have shared I want to do such and such but I allow other things to get in the way of the things I know I should be doing…
I was talking with a couple of friends about how I am enjoying and growing so much with how God is taking things from different areas of my life and bringing them all together…one of them “fasting” from sugar. For me it is added sugar that I have decided to fast from. As stated above in Jeremiah 2:13 the more we focus on God, His words and His directives the more we crave him. It’s like eating sugar or taking drugs…the more we get satisfaction from something the more we crave it so I need my focus to be on Poppa God, to trust in Him, to lean on Him and allow his wisdom and guidance to direct my life.
In Psalm 81: (Ali’s paraphrase)
7. You cried to me in trouble and I saved you; I answered out of the thundercloud so you could hear me
9. You must never have a foreign god before me (FOOD, TV, INTERNET, PHONE, GAMES, FACEBOOK…the list goes on) you must not give in to those things.
10. For it was I, the Lord your God who rescued you…Open your mouth (HEART, EYES, EARS) wide and I, POPPA GOD will fill it with good things.
11. But no, my people (ALI) you wouldn’t listen…
12. So I, Jesus, let them follow their own stubborn desires and live according to their own ideas.
16. BUT I, POPPA GOD, will feed you with the finest wheat (JESUS, THE LIVING WATER). I, POPPA GOD, will satisfy you with wild honey from the rock.
POPPA GOD IS THE ONLY ONE ABLE TO TOTALLY SATISFY ME!!!
On page 95, Wendy Speakes continues “this fast isn’t simply about not eating sugar, it’s about abstaining from ANYTHING and EVERYTHING we’ve learned to run to time and time again“
My desire, my prayer is to Poppa God…I want to truly TRUST you in all areas of my life, LEAN on Poppa God more than I lean on anyone or anything and SEEK out what Poppa God wants for me in my life. Help me Jesus to truly see that YOU are the only one that can truly satisfy me. Help me to see what broken bowls I’ve tried to use to hold what I think will satisfy me and instead ALLOW YOU to fill me and satisfy me. Amen.
*******
Thank you Jesus for really opening my eyes more and more each day as I work through this little book of 40 Days of Sugar Fasting and seeing how much I truly need you in my everyday life, not just what I am eating but also what I am ingesting in my heart, my mind and soul. Thank you Jesus for becoming more and more real to me. And thank you for giving me the ability to be able to write and share with others. Help me to remember to ALWAYS TRUST, LEAN AND SEEK YOU. Amen
I want to add here, I know that my 40 Days of Sugar Fasting is taking me longer than 40 Days…I believe I should be on Day 18. I think one of the many lessons I am learning ~ to truly learn how to extend Grace to myself, which I know I freely extend to so many others and to learn to love myself the way Poppa God loves me which I believe is truly what God tells us to do “to love one another and ourselves as God loves us.”
******
I would love to hear from y’all what you understand to be God’s greatest commandment…please feel free to share either by commenting on
my blog or sending me a private message through Facebook Messenger
or my email.
August 7, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 14 “What Else are You Craving?”
I will admit I “fell off the wagon” yesterday ~ I had two donuts and one of them was when I went to bed last night ~ Oh No! I admitted I am not perfect…well that really is no surprise as no one is perfect EXCEPT for Poppa God. And this morning I am so thankful that He loves me inspite of the things I do that I know are not good for me. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m sure it was because of all the sugar I had just as I was crawling into bed. I woke up about 1:45a and couldn’t go back to sleep. I played some games on my phone and then turned on some Christian worship music and prayed myself to sleep.
I began with asking Poppa God to forgive me for not keeping my promise, my commitment to not snack in bed. I know He did as I heard him say “oh Ali, yes, yes, I forgive you! Now I want you to remember tonight when you go to bed, no snacks in bed…you need good restful sleep and one way to get that is to not go to bed with food sitting on your tummy! I love you! Remember you’ve got this!!!”
I finally fell asleep about 3:00a and rolled out of bed about 7:45a…that sugar coma was still lingering but I made it out of bed and took CharlieBoy for a walk and then went to B & D for some swim time. One thing I do while swimming is try to see how long I can go without looking to see how much time has passed. Some days it’s 8 minutes, today it was 18 minutes! And not again till 30 minutes had passed. That’s pretty good because a lot of time only 5 minutes have passed. I got out of the pool after 46 minutes…I felt pretty good though my right leg continues to hurt and ache. I rubbed some pain relief essential oils on my leg before heading back home.
On to Day 14 ~ and was greeted with the question “What else are you craving? Ouch! I’m not really craving sugary things but let me tell you a big serving of angel hair pasta with lots of butter and parmesan cheese sure sounds good. And then I began to think about that question: What is it I am craving? I wrote down Friendship, Love, To know I’m important and needed by others
I will admit I “fell off the wagon” yesterday ~ I had two donuts and one of them was when I went to bed last night ~ Oh No! I admitted I am not perfect…well that really is no surprise as no one is perfect EXCEPT for Poppa God. And this morning I am so thankful that He loves me inspite of the things I do that I know are not good for me. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m sure it was because of all the sugar I had just as I was crawling into bed. I woke up about 1:45a and couldn’t go back to sleep. I played some games on my phone and then turned on some Christian worship music and prayed myself to sleep.
I began with asking Poppa God to forgive me for not keeping my promise, my commitment to not snack in bed. I know He did as I heard him say “oh Ali, yes, yes, I forgive you! Now I want you to remember tonight when you go to bed, no snacks in bed…you need good restful sleep and one way to get that is to not go to bed with food sitting on your tummy! I love you! Remember you’ve got this!!!”
I finally fell asleep about 3:00a and rolled out of bed about 7:45a…that sugar coma was still lingering but I made it out of bed and took CharlieBoy for a walk and then went to B & D for some swim time. One thing I do while swimming is try to see how long I can go without looking to see how much time has passed. Some days it’s 8 minutes, today it was 18 minutes! And not again till 30 minutes had passed. That’s pretty good because a lot of time only 5 minutes have passed. I got out of the pool after 46 minutes…I felt pretty good though my right leg continues to hurt and ache. I rubbed some pain relief essential oils on my leg before heading back home.
Andrew Bonar states “Fasting is abstaining from anything that hinders prayer.” ANYTHING! When I am filling my life with other things instead of turning to Poppa God to fill my heart, to fill my desires, to meet my needs what I’m really doing is allowing the devil to be present in my life. And I am reminded of Psalm 139:13
Where Poppa God tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made, He knows my innermost thoughts and desires. He knows what I crave and why I crave certain things. He knows what will truly satisfy me in each and every moment. I just need to seek Him instead of other things.
I like what Lisa Terkeurst said in Made to Crave, “God made us to crave, to desire eagerly, want greatly and long for Him. BUT the devil wants to and will do everything in his power to replace our craving for God and His desires for us with something else.
This lesson was a shoulder grabbing lesson, reminding me to keep focused on what is important to God and that is what will become important to me. In closing, Thank You Poppa God for loving me through thick and thin, the hard and easy, the joys and sorrows of life and thank you for extending grace when I mess up or eat that chocolate gooey donut and reminding me that each day I am given the opportunity to love you more! Amen!
August 5, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 13 “Weight & Worship”
I have spent most of the day in bed nursing my leg with a heating pad and sleeping, lots of sleeping. I woke up just after 5pm and felt human again! I got up and came into the living room and picked up my 40 Days book and the scripture for today is
I needed this verse today! I have been focusing on my leg pain, feeling down and alone, sad and not sure why BUT I see my focus has not been on Poppa God. Where I know it needs to be.
IF I keep my focus and thoughts on the Lord then the rest of my life will fall into place. My prayer is that each time my mind wanders I need to bring things back to the Lord.
Wendy Speakes asks the question on page 83 “What if we stop counting our steps and instead walk in step with God? I find myself asking “who am I trying to impress by how many steps I take?
And then this verse was next in the reading ~ 1 Samuel 16:7
And that hurt…I so often look at my outside appearance, what I look like to others. Just the other day I struggled with how I looked and believe me when I say I went down that trail of “I am ugly, I am fat, no one’s going to want to hire this fat whale…You see I had to do a video interview for a position I have applied for with the Land O Lakes School District. It’s a one take and you are done, no retakes or do overs!
To be honest, I think doing that video even though it was hard to do and the next two days were downers it brought me to a good place to be reading Lesson 13 – Weight & Worship…why do I do things and who am I doing them for?
I feel like I did an okay job answering the questions for the interview and who knows if I will get a 2nd interview but I do know that God will and always has taken care of me and He will never stop. And that is what I need to cling to.
I am reminded when I work on the inside stuff the outside stuff falls into place.
As long as I continue to Seek Him and find Him, He will be inside of me and then His light will shine through me. And that’s what I really want – to be more like Jesus every day!!!
******
As I was writing “do overs” above I thought about that phrase and was filling triggered – yesterday the lesson was on triggers…what happens or is said that triggers our thought process and or why we do things. “Do overs” triggered my mind back to when we were working at the Boys Ranch in Waco, TX ~ that was one of the favorite words/tools we were told to use with the boys…give them a do over. That philosophy of allowing the boys another chance to “do over” whatever they had done that wasn’t right or inappropriate did not sit well with Ron and I and we tried to talk with the administration that “people don’t always get do overs in life, sometimes you have to deal with the consequences of your actions and you don’t get to do it over….the administration disagreed.
Why am I bringing this up now – I still feel you don’t always get a do over, like doing the video interview I had to do on Thursday – it was a one and done and whether a job comes from that or not remains to be seen. BUT then I think about Jesus and how He loves me and he extends grace and mercy to me (and everyone who seeks Him) and I’m thankful he gave me today to rest, sleep, nurse my leg and to start again, right now making good food choices, keeping my focus on Jesus and what He wants for me ~ to love others as He loves me, including loving myself the way Jesus loves me!
August 4, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 12 “Food Triggers”
It’s been another rough day ~ lots of angry outbursts and feeling very incapable of doing anything. We had appointments today: Ron with the oncologist and I had my mammogram. Not sure if it is worry causing me to be short tempered or anxiety seeping out of my pores. Whatever it is – it leaves me feeling exhausted and unhappy with myself.
So decided to focus on something else ~ Day 12 of 40 Days of Sugar Fasting and the topic is “Triggers” – I have been triggered a lot today: I’m tired, I’ve been having some very weird and disturbing dreams, anxious about Ron’s appointment with the oncologist and his soon mammogram.
And I have to chuckle at how God takes little things and shows me He is aware of what is going on with me, even when I think I’m out here all by myself LOL.
God knows my heart even when I think I am hiding…
Things happen that I react to (triggers) ~ today being tired, feeling anxious, appointments not going smoothly because of missing paperwork, physically hurting…the list goes on.
Wendy Speakes on page 77 says “submit our triggered hearts to the one who can help ~ Poppa God.” She talks about the correlation of when our triggers are flying high our eating is out of control AND yes today it was…I had some M&M’s, laid down on the bed with two beef sticks (not eating in bed is one of my goals) and slept for about three hours!!!
Oh how my triggers have hit hard today. So I started to change the mood…I made a nice dinner of roasted chicken w/fresh veggies and rice, drank a tall glass of ice water and then sat and read for a bit.
My insides have calmed down and I’ve made a plan to be able to sleep in tomorrow morning and my leg is not hurting quite as bad as it was earlier today.
My prayer this evening: Lord help me to sleep well tonight, help my blood sugar to stay steady and to be able to wake up in the morning feeling rested and encouraged. Amen.
*****
How do you “start over?”
That’s me tomorrow ~ starting fresh, giving myself grace, acknowledge I had a rough day and knowing that I am loved by my hubby and Poppa God and that I am enough, likeable and loveable!
August 3, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 11 “Shine!”
I don’t feel like I am shining much today. But I don’t feel in the darkness that I was in yesterday. I’ve been thinking about Paul a lot lately of how he asked the question “why do I do the things I don’t want to do AND don’t do the things I know to do”
I have struggled the last couple of days due to high pain level and frustration that I’m not walking like I want to…my right calf & thigh can hurt so bad I almost fall to the floor. Monday evening I was doing dishes and at one point I thought I was going to hit the floor, the pain was so intense! I held onto the sink/counter for a good two minutes, all the while crying and cussing…poor Charlie didn’t know what to do! I forced myself to finish the dishes, took some Aleve and 3 allergy pills to attack the pain and the intense itching (two separate issues). I know, I know be careful taking those allergy pills…y’all can lecture me later. And then it was almost 10:30 before I fell asleep though I had gone to bed before 8:00p. I was crying, tossing, turning, itching and crying some more. I finally fell asleep about 10:30p…
My alarm went off at 7:00a to go for coffee and Bible study with A & B but I sent them a text saying I was calling the doctor as the pain was so intense and so I wouldn’t be joining them. I called the doctor’s office and Dr. C called me back about 30 minutes later…she seriously thinks it is my hamstring…my mind had me going down the rabbit trail of bone cancer, I was going to die, no money to pay for treatment ~ you know the awfulizing thoughts were in full swing!!! Dr. C called in a muscle relaxer and made an appointment for me for Wednesday morning at 8:00a.
After talking with Dr. C I took some more extra strength Ibuprofen and laid on the couch and slept off/more on until it was time to get Ron up and out the door for work.
I was not feeling good and very grumpy. I called the pharmacy to verify my prescription and was told it was put back! What??? I sort of , no did lose my temper with the gal, then snapped at Ron and was just plain not nice!!! I did calm down, Ron went to the pharmacy and then came home and I made him some dinner and a lunch to take to work. I was so mad at myself for how I treated him and the gal at the pharmacy.
And so today when I was reading today’s lesson about “letting my light shine” I was having to remind myself about God’s grace to me, giving grace to myself like I extend to others. That on the hard days, it’s okay to remember that Poppa God knows and understands the feelings, the emotions, my fears ~ ALL that I am feeling and dealing with.
Wendy shares on page 75 how WE ALL encounter dark trials YET we can be of good cheer, allowing our light to shine as we overcome the darkness that we are facing. She reminds me to stop complaining and look for the good, the positive, the little sparkle of hope that helps me to turn to to Poppa God in all situations.
Remember that to spend time with Jesus is helping me to be His light, for His light to shine through me. And really that is all He is asking us to do ~ focus on Him and how much He loves us!
And reminding myself that Poppa God loves me, just as I am and that when I reach for His word instead of the chocolate bar that he squeezes me just a little bit tighter, telling me “good job girl!”
And on the hard days, turn to Him instead of the chocolate bar as He will satisfy me a lot longer than any candy bar!
August 1, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 10 “His Presence, Our Present”
Wow! Talk about giving me food for thought. The Lesson for Day 10 definitely does that. The scripture leading the chapter is from Matthew 6:16-18…
I didn’t know if I should say “Ouch” or just not write anymore blog posts for this study. And then I thought of “what is my motivation?” I prayed and read the chapter, prayed some more and decided that I am okay and it is okay for me to be writing daily blog posts on this journey of 40 Days of Sugar Fasting.
I made the decision when I first started this journey, that my blogging was a way for me to keep notes on each lesson AND that I would not be sending out emails to those who subscribe to my email notification list (the one I personally send out ~ not the one that wordpress sends out) and it still feels okay to me. So I continue this journey…sharing from my heart, identifying what I think the Lord is saying to me.
A memory came to my mind when I read “…when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your “Poppa God” who is in secret and sees you and He is your reward.” I will never forget the day I flew from New York City to Amsterdam to be reunited with Ron. December 20, 1977! Ron had gone to Amsterdam, Camp New Amsterdam, Soest, The Netherlands in early November 1977 and we were able to plan it that I would fly to Amsterdam on our 2nd anniversary to begin our tour in Holland together.
Just imagine a 19 yr old girl, traveling with a tiny 4 month old little guy (here Jamie is 5 weeks old and weighed just about 5 lbs, at four months he weighed all of 7 lbs!!!)
It’s early in the morning on December 20, 1977, I am in a hotel room in New York City, scared to death, having only flown only 2 other times earlier in the week, standing in the hotel room crying, looking at Jamie laying on the bed and me calling my mom. I remember telling my mom, never mind, I’m not going to Holland, I’m coming home and my mom, sounding very firm saying “Young lady, you need to go in the bathroom, wash your face with cold water, comb your hair, wrap that precious baby up in a blanket and get your butt to the airport!” And you know what, I did just that!!! I washed my face and got Jamie and myself together and made our way to the airport, got on the airplane and flew to Amsterdam to be reunited with my sweet hubby!!! Happy Memories for sure!!!
Poppa God knows what I do and why I do the things I do and He doesn’t want me to be afraid…He is my strength and He is always with me. Yes I may need to ask myself what my motivation is but deep in my heart I know that I want to love others as Christ has loved me, nurture those who I come into contact with just as Poppa God nurtures me!
Back to Day 10 ~ I am reminded that God is the reason for why I do things. And that God Himself is my reward. He is my present day reward!
Psalm 73:25-28 says
Poppa God is all I have! My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT God is the strength of my heart and He keeps me near to Him.! And in my weaknesses I am able to experience God’s strength, His power and His love!
Wendy Speakes shares on page 71 “…because fasting and praying and giving allow us to experience more of Him. And HE is my everything! My reward is the intimacy forged in prayerful conversation with the One who stitched us and knows us and sits enthroned within us and over us.”
Today’s lesson is a tangible reminder to me that I need to keep my focus on what Poppa God wants for me. Remembering He is my gift and is always intimately near me. He is my reward. And yes, He wants me to keep my focus on Him, by sharing WHO HE is to me and WHAT HE is to me is. And I know Poppa God wants me to live a full and contented life and one way I can do that is by getting my sugar addiction, my binge eating and keeping my depression far away and His love pouring from within me and unto those I come into contact with!
July 31, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 9 “When Jesus Shares His Food”
As I read the lesson for today I found myself imagining sitting down at a table feasting with friends & family with Jesus as my special guest. It gave me chills thinking of Jesus sitting next to me, partaking of my mom’s chicken gumbo and just enjoying being with me. Just being able to share with Jesus!
What an awesome activity that would be and then I realized that Jesus sits with me every time I sit down to eat. I mean, we always, well most of the time prayer before we eat, giving thanks for the food we are blessed with, asking God to use the food we eat to give us the energy to do whatever it was we would be doing that day.
But then I looked at the verse for today
If I look at the verse above if I am to live like Jesus lived then I am to share my food, my life with those I come into contact with.
Reading further I am told that to live like Jesus should be my motivation for living today, for the feeding of those who I come into contact with.
Motivation such a powerful word!!! And a word that has come up in quite a few of the conversations I have had recently. With the question being asked “what motivates me to do ______ (fill in the blank)?
It’s not always an easy question to answer. And it makes me wonder if I am being selfish for some of the things I do?
On page 66, Wendy Speakes writes “If we’re honest, our urgency has more to do with what we will eat next and who we will eat it with and what we will wear and maybe even how we will snap a picture of it and post it on Facebook/Instagram. We are motivated by what we buy and what fun activity next awaits us. We are a hungry people.” Oh how true for me!!!
Today’s lesson is telling me to be aware of what I am doing (whether choosing to eat a candy bar, crochet a gift for someone, what to wear when heading out the door where I will be seen by who knows….)
My prayer today: Dear Poppa God thank you again for the lesson today, to keep my focus on You and what is important. To be able to keep moving forward in this journey of life loving and caring for others, for loving and caring about my own health and most of all for sharing Your love to all those I come into contact with. Help my motivation for my actions to pure and honest and to bring glory to You.” Amen.
*******
What motivates you?
How do you keep motivated to keep moving forward in your life’s journey?
July 30, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 8 ~ “Candy Cane & Crutches”
Crutches ~ the question is are they good or bad? If you have a broken leg using crutches is definitely a good thing!!! Using M&M’s to make me feel better not so much!! Because even though they may taste good, in the long run they are really not good for me.
A shepherd uses a shepherds hook, sort of looks like a candy cane to help him do his job and since Jesus is my shepherd, having Jesus has my crutch is a good thing!!!
Wendy Speakes talk about an image of (on page 60) of Jesus holding us up, making us able bodied and sure footed, giving us strength when we need it reminded me of an image I described to my bestie earlier today while reflecting on how Jesus is always right beside me: Jesus standing next to me, giving me a side hug with His arm wrapped around my shoulder.
I am also being reminded to continually give praise to Poppa God as he sustains me, loves me, holding me up and his all giving eternal support. And yet to be honest, I often forget that Jesus is always with me and I look for other things to sustain me, to make me feel good – like a cupcake or a bag of M&M’s.
I love this verse
Cast all my CARES on to the Lord!!
Big burdens,
Daily burdens,
Seemingly insignificant burdens
EVERYTHING I AM CONCERNED ABOUT!
EVERYTHING! that concerns me, that causes me to fear, not the BIG things, but EVERYTHING that I care about, that keeps me from keeping my focus on Jesus!
I can cast my cares, my burdens on HIM because HE cares for me!!!
On page 93, Wendy Speakes shares “He leaves the ninety-nine to grab me each time I wander off. Jesus picks me up and carries me back with the full weight of my burdens/cares resting on His shoulders.” And though at times it feels like I am alone or starting over I was reminded by my bestie that in reality as I “start over” I really am bringing the experience of previous times of beginning or working on something along with me on the journey. How I picture it is
the spiral…each time I go around the circle (project or topic) it may look like it is the same situation but in reality I have a different perspective. And that the more times I go around or address a topic Poppa God is right there with me and I’m adding more experience to the scenario.
I am encouraged after reading this chapter and thankful for the reminders from the book as well as from Poppa God that HE is always with me, I am never alone and that I can do anything I set my mind to do because Poppa God is always with me!!!
********
Are you feeling encouraged today?
July 29, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 7 “A Holy Hunger”
As I continue to work through the book “40 Days of Sugar Fasting” by Wendy Speakes I find that I am more and more excited to read each day’s lesson, see what Poppa God has to say to me, checking out different scriptures and really seeing the Lord bringing things in my life together.
The saying “the more you do something, the more you want to do it” is coming true for me. I look forward to spending time in the pool even though I am not liking getting up early, but I’m loving the time in the pool, listening to worship music and spending time in prayer.
I’m excited for the Ladies Bible Study I am getting involved in and seeing how the Lord is bringing things from that study together into my study and doing the 40 Day of Sugar Fasting.
The thought that came to mind as I read the above scripture was that the more feasting I am doing in the Lord’s Word I am feeling more and more satisfied in my life in this moment on this day just like drinking a glass of ice tea or ice water quenches my thirst on these hot Florida summer days. This from a gal who doesn’t like water LOL!
Being satisfied – sometimes, well really most of the time I think I am constantly looking for something to satisfy me whether it be food, or pats on the back for a job well done, making a crochet baby set and then seeing a baby wrapped in the set. I think back to conversations with my bestie about “being content” and I’m realizing “satisfying and contentment” are really interchangeable for me.
And how part of being satisfied is choosing to be satisfied and when to say enough is enough. An example that Wendy used in the lesson today was having a piece of key lime pie, enjoying it, being content and full and yet as soon as the fork & plate were cleaned wanting a second piece! I could so identify.
Yesterday we had Ron’s birthday dinner with Brandon, Danalyn, Christopher, Treyson, Alexander along with Danalyn’s folks, Dan & Lynda. I knew that there was going to be chocolate cake from Costco (one of my favorites!) and so I had planned to eat really healthy throughout the day, drink an extra couple of glasses of water before heading to dinner. And I told myself I was only going to have one small piece of cake to celebrate my sweet hubby!!!
Now doesn’t that cake look delicious!!!! Danalyn cut the cake into 16 slices, each holding 55 grams of carbs! That’s more than I am supposed to have at any one meal!!! I enjoyed that piece of cake, passed on the ice cream and let each piece of cake with a bite of frosting melt in my mouth ~ it was so yummy!! There were 9 pieces leftover and Danalyn asked how many we wanted to take home…3 pieces in a container…oh how I would have loved to bring them all home and devour them but we only brought one container home. That’s a good thing.
As I was putting the leftovers away the verse from the other day about
the devil wanting to devour us, just waiting to crush us and how we need to Stand Firm in our faith and RESIST the temptation and I told myself “I had a piece of cake, it was delicious and it was enough! And I felt the desire for another piece of that tasty cake to pass. Thank you Jesus!!!
Continuing in Lesson 7 Wendy says on page 57 “misplaced hunger keeps me from running to God” and continues with “if we want to live a satisfied life we must focus on the One who is able to satisfy the way nothing else can.”
And I’m thankful that I’m learning to be satisfied by making healthy food choices. Yes I had a piece of cake, yes I ate something with lots of sugar but it was okay. It was okay because I didn’t devour the three pieces of cake I brought home for later (in fact, they are tucked away and I’m not feeling tempted to have a piece). And that’s a good thing!!!
One thing I have begun to realize as I continue through this study is that my struggle isn’t really with eating sugar ~ its making good choices, not overeating and keeping my focus on what is important to me and that is to become healthy, healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually and that is what is important!!!
While reading this lesson I also realized it’s not just for 40 days, it’s a lifetime of making good choices, setting limits on how much and what I eat and so as I continue this 40 Days of Sugar Fasting I want to also focus on what choices I make in the future!
As I read the verse above I find myself saying this prayer:
Dear Lord help me want You to fulfill my longings and desires, for you to fill me overflowing. Help me to keep my focus on You and to keep my focus on how You can satisfy me when nothing else can. Thank you for being my stream of living water that is readily available for me at any time of the day or night. Amen!
*******
What satisfies your desires?
How do you stay focused on what is important?
July 28, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 6 “Armor Up!”
I just love how the Lord brings different activities, appointments and projects all together!
Yesterday I started a new Ladies Bible study. We met at Panera Bread ~ it was such a good feeling being able to buy my own lunch for a change. I’ve been dealing with feeling like I am constantly asking for help, not doing something because we don’t have the money BUT the Lord has been encouraging me more and more every day in so many ways. Ron has gotten 3 hours of overtime last week and again this week – that overtime gives us some breathing space! Thank you Jesus for the extra hours and also for a husband who loves me so much and does whatever he can and needs to do to provide for us!!! Help me Lord to be the wife to Ron that You would have me to be!!
Yesterday at the Ladies Bible study a few times the words “armor of God” came up in the conversation. And I love how God just goes and titles today’s lesson “Armor Up!” Guess He really wants me to focus on putting his armor on and what that means!!!
I love how the New Living Translation puts it: 10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
The word Strategies just jumped out at me! The devil is always in the market to try something new to get my focus away from God and what He wants me to focus on.
On page 51 Wendy Speakes asks “are you feeling like the devil is working overtime to cause havoc in your life since you started this new journey?” YES!!!! is my resounding answer. In the past few days I have thrown a heck of a temper-tantrum directed at Ron WHEN in fact it was not his fault at all! But did that stop me from yelling, cursing, stomping my feet? Nope!
Almost immediately I felt horrible that I had reacted that way towards him. He loves me so much and so often I am so mean to him ~ like Paul says I find myself asking “why do I do the things I don’t want to do and don’t do the things I know I need to be doing?”*
Wendy goes on to say “be encouraged! Why? Because the devil is not happy that God is taking His rightful place at the center of your life.”
Yesterday at Bible Study we talked about 1 Peter 5:8 and again today Wendy shares it…guess Jesus really wants me to pay attention to this verse:
Yesterday and again today I found myself changing devour to CRUSH! As that’s how I feel so often…crushed and stomped on! So I thank you Jesus for reminding me to stand firm!!!
Another phrase that jumped out at me was “most of our battle’s begin in our mind and then we get consumed by those thoughts.” I know I have often said my mind is my worst enemy! I can go from A to Z in a nano second thinking the worst outcome is going to happen and from there my depression comes alive and sends my life topsy turvy. As we talked about yesterday the need to bring our thoughts captive to God, to keep our focus on Him.
I found this picture on the internet ~ thinking I need to print it up and post it on a cupboard here in our little home on wheels as a daily reminder.
And I am reminded in this scripture:
Keep my focus on Poppa God EVEN WHEN life is not going the way I think it should be going, EVEN WHEN I don’t get my way, EVEN WHEN!
I like the practical pointers that are suggested;
- Speak aloud to God, He’s right here beside me!
- Speak what is true!!!
- Tell the devil to take a hike!
- Picture putting on the Helmet of the Armor of God as I begin my day and reposition it as needed throughout the day!
My prayer today: Oh Poppa God thank you for loving me in so many ways: bringing new friends into my life, calming my spirit when it begins to race, for providing a job that Ron likes and enjoys the people he works with. Thank you for this time to be a part of our grands lives and for the gift of sunshine! I feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face as I begin my day and thank you our kids have a pool that I am able to use whenever I wish and for helping me to keep my commitment to go swimming at least three mornings a week. Thank you for loving me!!! Amen!!!
*******
What are you thankful for today?
Is there anything specific I can pray about for you?
*I did apologize to Ron before he went to work that day and in his unconditional way of loving me he said “it’s okay honey the shed wasn’t what I expected either.” I sure love my hubby!!!
July 28, 2023
Thank you Poppa God for continuing to bring things all together for me!
Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
As I was doing some stuff on the computer I wanted to check something out on my blog and found the above writing prompt and just had to chuckle and thank Poppa God for another little sign that He is working in ALL areas of my life!!!
My current strategies are working through the 40 Days of Sugar Fasting, being more consistent on meal planning, swimming at least three times a week and the biggie for me is NOT eating a bag of my popcorn/cheese its/pretzels once I have gone to bed!!!
In my little group of ladies working through 40 Days of Sugar Fasting we had a little discussion about planning for the hard times. She struggles mid afternoon so she is planning and preparing a snack ahead of time. For me, it is planning dinner…if I don’t know ahead of time what dinner is going to be we tend to eat junk food or snack for hours at a time or go out to eat (which we can’t afford to do!) so I do a monthly meal plan. I use the items in the freezer to plan what meals I can fix. I check the calendar the night before to see if I need to get something out of the freezer for a crockpot meal or if I need to pick something up from the store or to even help me plan my day in having time to fix a good and healthy meal.
Thank you Poppa God for loving me and reminding me I am worth it to get healthy!!! One step and one day at a time!!!
July 27, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 5 “Fasting & Feasting”
I am 1/10 of the way through this 40 Day Sugar Fast. So far things have gone pretty well for me.
As I mentioned yesterday my nemesis is snacking on that big gallon bag of homemade popcorn, cheese-its and pretzel mix after I crawl into bed…it has now been 4 nights of no snacking once I crawled into bed! That is a big deal for me!
Now for my conundrum…I was at Bible study yesterday and we were talking about areas of temptation based on 1 John 2:15-16 …
… and the three primary areas of temptation
- lust of the flesh
- lust of the eyes
- lust of living a pride filled life
I did a double take and as we talked “living a pride filled life” we decided that “lust of living a pride filled life” is the giving of ourselves credit when in reality Poppa God is really the one needing the credit.
So I want to shout from the rooftop that I KNOW that Poppa God is the one winning my battle of my not snacking at night when I go to bed! Thank you Poppa God for encouraging me and helping me to get my out of control binge and sugar eating frenzy under control!!!
While digging into Day 5 I am clinging to Jeremiah 15:16
and my prayer for today is to seek the Lord, read His word and help me to feast on Poppa God and not sugary snacks or my bedtime snack. As Wendy Speake states on page 47 “Lord when I am bored, angry, sad, scared or XXX help me to FEAST on Your Word.” And so again, I claim this as my prayer today.
I was reminded that in Ezekiel 3:3 and Revelation 10:8-11 that it is good to feast on Poppa God’s Word, allowing him to fill me and fulfill me in what I need to live a healthy life.
and
Revelation 10: 8 – 11 ~ Then the voice which I heard from heaven spoke to me again and said, “Go, take the little book which is open in the hand of the angel who stands on the sea and on the earth.” So I went to the angel and said to him, “Give me the little book.” And he said to me, “Take and eat it; and it will make your stomach bitter, but it will be as sweet as honey in your mouth.”
Wendy goes on to say on page 48 “Fasting may transform my diet, but it is a festing life that will change my life.” as well as “Each time I forget to feast, I fast in order to remember.”
Since I am a visual learner using Wendy’s friends’ example of
Snacks ~ short, sweet and favorite scripture verses
Main Course ~ meatier passages, whole chapters
Dessert ~ familiar verses when a loving reminder of how God’s sweet presence (at all times) and faithfulness is needed
makes a lot of sense to me.
In closing today, I am once again amazed at how the Lord takes from many areas of my life to bring everything together. In the Ladies Bible study yesterday, our memory verse for this week is 1 Corinthians 10:13
How awesome is the Lord to bring things I am reading and learning about in our 40 Days of Sugar Fasting to coincide with what I’m learning and reading in my Ladies Bible Study ~ I think it’s pretty awesome!!!
My prayer today begins with thanksgiving!!
Dear Sweet Poppa God thank you for loving me and in such a strange way brought me back here to Florida where I have met some sweet Sisters in Christ who have become special friends, encouraging me in my daily walk as well as connecting Facebook friends to help me as I make new daily habits, better food choices and continue to learn to be content where You have planted me (us) for such a time as this. Thank you Jesus for always being ready to listen to me, whether its while treading water in the pool, sitting around a table drinking coffee with friends or sitting quietly in our little home on wheels during some loud and nasty thunderstorms. Most of all I thank you for a loving husband who continually shows me in practical and understanding ways what it means to love unconditionally.
*********
What are you thankful for today?
July 26, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 4 “Trusting God with the Battle”
One of the first questions in today’s chapter was “do you feel like you are going through a physical battle as you get off sugar?” My first thought was No ~ it’s an emotional and mind battle for me. As soon as I get frustrated or something is not going my way or how I expect things to be I think of eating. Eating some chips or pretzels. Drinking a soda or two or three! And the mind begins the old tapes of “I’m not good enough.” “I can’t do this so why bother trying?”
Wendy Speake suggests on page 43 to “turn on the worship music, shout out to Poppa God that He has this fight, that the battle is not mine alone.” I started thinking about different situations where I seem to go from 0 to 100 in a nano second ~ sometimes it doesn’t take much. I think about yesterday and being on hold with the Imaging Center and how angry and mad I got. I asked myself what could I do different…so I set the timer for 60 minutes and called the clinic. I have decided if they don’t answer after one hour I will physically go to their office tomorrow after a morning appointment, walk in with my referrals and schedule them in person. I have a plan, one that I feel I can deal with. And no reason to get angry or pissed!!!
And I think that plan goes along with “when afraid, seek God’s help and trust Him to direct me in whatever I am dealing with.”
I am reminded today to take the focus off of me and turn to the Lord
The theme for this day’s chapter seems to me to be
Be Intentional
I had to smile when I wrote out “Be Intentional” as that was my word of the year a few years back…guess I needed a reminder to keep being intentional in what I do ~ in everything I do!!! Including what I choose to eat and drink!
2 Chronicles 20:15-17 (The Message) He said, “Attention everyone—all of you from out of town, all you from Jerusalem, and you King Jehoshaphat—God’s word: Don’t be afraid; don’t pay any mind to this vandal horde. This is God’s war, not yours. Tomorrow you’ll go after them; see, they’re already on their way up the slopes of Ziz; you’ll meet them at the end of the ravine near the wilderness of Jeruel. You won’t have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm, Judah and Jerusalem, and watch God’s saving work for you take shape. Don’t be afraid, don’t waver. March out boldly tomorrow—God is with you.”
This reminds me that I am not alone, even when I feel alone. But I need to remember that Poppa God stands with me as I face whatever battles appear before me. This battle (controlling how much sugar I do or don’t eat) is not mine alone. And for that I am thankful.
My prayer today: Dear Poppa God thank you for your encouraging words as well as the encouraging book “40 Day Sugar Fasting.” And for friends to walk alongside me as I become more intentional in making healthy food choices. Help me to stand firm and face You instead of leaning on unhealthy food to make me feel better. Amen.
As I think about this lesson and what it means going to battle and battles have enemies I see that I am quick to make lots of things my enemies. In the food arena my enemy/nemesis is sugar laden food and binge eating. So I ask myself “what specifically is my enemy? My war is with sugar laden food and binge eating…when I think of a specific thing I battle I realize one of the pieces of this battle of making healthy food choices is eating snacks when I lay down to go to bed.
(This could be me but usually it’s pretzels and popcorn!
I realized Sunday night as I was preparing to go to bed that I consciously made the decision to NOT fix the bag of popcorn…I just went to bed, played a few games on my phone, turned on my music and went to sleep. I am happy to say that I didn’t take anything to snack on last night when I went to bed either!!! Go Me!!
**********
Do you have a word for the year?
My mind thinks of
Be Flexible
Be Intentional
Be Authentic
and remember to extend Grace & Mercy to myself like I give to others.
July 25, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 3 “When Sugar Walls Crumble”
Sometimes I just want to scream “why should I bother?” It, whoever it is feels like every time I try to make a positive change in my life stuff happens and I just want to grab a bag of chocolate candy or eat some nice warm bread with warm drippy butter!!!
That was me yesterday afternoon. I was trying to make some appointments. First up was an eye appointment. I called the office and was told they don’t take my insurance ~ what the website says they do!!! Nope! Back to square one. Okay, another call to another eye doctor that is listed on my plan ~ same stupid response! I was proud of myself – I didn’t scream or cuss or lose my temper with the gal ~ it’s not her fault my insurance website isn’t up to date!!!
Okay, I will search for another eye doctor, thinking I would do it tomorrow as I knew my patience was gone! So I call Tower Imaging to make appointments for Ron and I to get our mammograms ~ yes, we both need them and yes it makes me really anxious wondering what Ron’s will show, especially since we just passed his five year cancer free anniversary. I began my call at 4:17p (the website says they are open till 7p). Nope, nada, not at all ~ at 5:00p a recording came on and said “our office is closed, please call us back during our normal office hours 9a to 5p, Monday thru Friday!!! What the heck?? To say I was about to lose it is an understatement.
As the call disconnected I immediately thought ~ what can I eat? Oh Ron has M&M’s here, but wait you are doing a Sugar Fast, then I wished I had a vehicle because I wanted to jump in the truck and go to Culver’s and get a huge ice cream…instead I posted my frustration on Facebook, responded to Ron’s text message that he had made it to work. And that he loves me!!!
And I cried. Cried because I feel so angry, cried because my first thoughts were for food, for sugar, for food…looking to food to meet my needs!!! A memory flashed before my eyes…when I was 16 and had had eye surgery and it didn’t work, my mom and I went to see my eye surgeon. He said it was time, time to have my left eye removed (injured in an eye accident at the age of 10). As we got in the car to head home from the appointment, I think we were both in shock and my mom’s response “want to stop and get an ice cream cone?” Who wants to eat when your whole life is changing and you just know you are going to look like a freak with only one eye!!! But that was the answer my mom gave anytime one of us faced a major issue in our lives!!!
Then as my mind does, it went to the memory of when I confronted my mom about the sexual abuse done to me by my step-father, Ed H. Her initial response: you are making this up to get attention and then quickly followed with “I’m hungry, lets go to Burger King and get something to eat. You can call Ron to meet us there!” My goodness…no wonder I turn to food when things go wrong or I feel overwhelmed…I had one of the best teachers in the world ~ my mom!!!
So I picked up my crocheting and watched some good ole Dateline!!!
Today is a new day! As I began to read Chapter 3 – the first line is SUGAR IS A STRONGHOLD! Yes it is. Old tapes are hard to turn off, it’s hard to make good choices when all you want to do is stuff your face…but I am choosing to read, to breathe and make some new choices. No bags of M&M’s and thankful we only have one vehicle – no trip to Culvers!!!
Poppa God wants me to claim the victory of making good choices, shout His victory over winning the battles of tearing down the strongholds…in my case the stronghold of using sugar/food to make me feel better instead of turning to God…who is always faithful and always near!
Poppa God will help me to break my strongholds, to help me to gain control of out of control eating, meeting my emotions with M&M’s and cookies.
From “40 Day Sugar Fast ~ Chapter 3, pages 38-39” The Bible is much more than just a story, it’s my story!” God has walked every step I have taken, He has felt every emotion I have felt!” Poppa God knows all I have gone through, all I am going through and everything I will ever go through! I am not alone!!! And reminded from Chapter 2 that even though I wander I can go back to Poppa God each and every time I stumble and fall.
Lysa Terkeurst shares
I just need to remember to cling to Poppa God, His way is perfect and as long as I continue to seek Him I will be filled with His perfect love!
So just as Joshua marched on around the walls of Jericho ~ I will keep marching on!! One step at a time, one foot in front of the other.
July 24, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 2 “Return to Me”
I woke today with the intention of going over to our son’s place and go for a morning swim…but with thunderstorms and 50%+ more chance of rain along with dark and dreary skies I decided to pass this morning.
I’m reminding myself I want to swim 3x a week s0 if the weather is better tomorrow I will go after my coffee date with Ada.
So I fed Charlie Boy, sent off a bill and did the dishes. I tend to leave the dishes throughout the day and do them all in the morning ~ I don’t mind washing dishes, in fact, I like the flow of the hot water over my hands and I often think about how Poppa God washes my sins away each and every day. Washing dishes gives me uninterrupted time to spend a few minutes in prayer.
? When you are doing dishes or other mindless tasks what do you do with your thoughts?
“Fullness of Joy”. I thought about being full yesterday after a delicious dinner spent with our son, Brandon, his wife, Danalyn, the three little younger grandsons (they really aren’t little anymore!) and Danalyn’s parents, Dan & Lynda. Dinner was delicious: roast beef w/roasted carrots, mashed potatoes w/gravy, green salad, cheesy bread and mango/key lime pie for dessert.
After we were done eating and the dishes were washed we were sitting in the family room. Danalyn commented she was full and I shared a saying that Anne (Ron’s mom) used to say “if I felt like this before I ate I wouldn’t have eaten.” And that was so true.
I want to be full in Jesus! I want His love to flow through me and onto others.
The assignment for Day 2 is to take an honest look at where I am and where is Poppa God in relation to me. What fillers do I utilize instead of spending time with Poppa God?
Immediately I knew…scrolling on Facebook. Even though I have cut back on my time on Facebook I KNOW I still spend way too much time scrolling through posts after posts when I could be doing something else. Another filler for me is getting caught up in the drama of crime shows on CourtTV! I’ve always enjoyed crime shows. Ron and I joke a lot about all the things I’m learning not to do so I don’t get caught doing a dastardly deed.
There is nothing wrong with Facebook or CourtTV or other fillers of my time. It is when I allow the fillers to take over my life and not focus on the things that are important to me, the things that need to be completed. Instead of turning on the TV this morning for background noise I chose to listen to some gospel music. I find myself singing along sometimes and other times just sitting and letting the music flow over my heart and mind.
Two words that jumped at me from my reading were wander and purpose. Wander struck a chord…our blog has been The Wandering Workentins for 13 years plus…we have wandered many places during our travels. I have chatted with myself in the swimming pool about how my mind wanders when I pray, having a difficult time staying focused. Heck my mind wanders when I’m sitting in my rocker during my quiet time and I’m praying…I used to get so mad at myself when my mind would wander but I have learned to give myself grace, acknowledge that my mind and thoughts have wandered and I then refocus on what I am doing.
Purpose ~ what is my purpose? My purpose is many folds…I’m a wife, mom and grammy ~ each come with its own responsibilities/purpose. I’m a daughter of the King, friend and sister of Christ to many ~ each of those relationships also come with a purpose.
When I dig a bit deeper I believe my depression rears its ugly head when my purpose gets lost and I become focused solely on myself. But when I allow my focus to be on others, in/on relationships then I know my depressions goes away.
Thank you Lord for this reminder this morning to keep my focus on You and being and doing what I believe You would have me to do.
Dear Lord as I begin this day I pray that my focus stays on you and what you desire of me. When my mind wanders help me to bring it back to what is important: making healthy choices, to grow closer to You, to love others as You love me. Amen
July 23, 2023
40 Days of Sugar Fast ~ Day 1
Keep things Simple; See that HE is Simply Enough!
- Remember where I came from AND how I got here. I learned to make choices, good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, smart/not so smart. I’ve made many choices over many years and it will take time to make new choices. One day at a time!
- Life doesn’t just happen. I have to DO something for a change to happen. I can’t just sit and expect change to happen.
- Intentionally turn to Poppa God. When I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m feeling anxious…all the time turn to Poppa God.
- Change isn’t automatic – I need to put God’s word into practice. Action speaks louder than words.
- Ask ” what am I running after?” What is it I am really wanting?
The question “what am I running after?” is not the first time I have been asked this. My bestie has asked me “what is it I want?” “what do I need to be content?” “what will satisfy me?” Her questions really didn’t have anything to do with food or giving up sugar – but to do with job changes, where we were living, where we were working but in reality these are just great questions for my life, every aspect of my life!
I want peace and contentment in my life. I want to physically feel good. I’m tired of sitting on the side lines instead of walking and playing with my grands. I want to go on hikes with Ron. I don’t want to be tired all the time.
To reach the goals of feeling good, living in peace and with contentment I need to begin to make changes. One of those changes is turning from feasting on sugar/binge eating, instead seeking Poppa God to meet my needs.
************
My prayer: Dear Poppa God thank you for loving me just as I am. Thank you for encouraging me and reminding that You are my strength and available to me at all times!!! Amen.
************
Today I choose to make healthy food choices!
What are you choosing today?
July 22, 2023 ~ 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ The Beginning
As I continue to work through and get to the other side of my depression I am intentionally doing things to better myself. One of those things is to make and do realistic things. One of them is reading through and doing the book “40 Day Sugar Fast.” I’m doing it along with three friends. We have started a group on Facebook. We are limiting the group to 8 – if you would like to join just reach out to me.
I’m going to do a blog post each day (or every other day if I am being realistic) as a way to track my reading, notes, successes and yes even failures.
Notes ~ Forward (paraphrased to speak directly to me).
- Would I choose Jesus over sugar?
- Why am I running to cookies instead of running to the cross?
- Actions speak louder than words!
- The more I seek God the more I want Him! ~ My appetite will grow more and more.
- I want you Poppa God so much…as much as I crave my morning mocha.
- I want you Poppa God so much…as much as I desire a second serving of Costco cake.
- I want you Poppa God so much…as much as I anticipate my next sugar fix.
- I need to change from the inside before the outside can change!
- Jesus. He is enough!
- Jesus want my undivided unadulterated, affection. He wants me to love Him with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength!
- Actions speak louder than words!!!
- When God sets me free from my strongholds (overeating/binging) sugar will no longer control me.
Lord help me to choose YOU instead of something with sugar!!! Stir in me a hunger for YOU!
☐ Make a Commitment
I am committing to:
Foods I am Giving Up!
No Cookies or Cake
No Candy
No Chips
No Pretzels
No Crackers
What I will be doing ~
Measuring my food items – one serving, one serving only
(this is important as I learn to eat in a healthy manner!)
Drinking at least 5 bottles of water a day!
Swimming 3x a week
Time in the Word & Prayer 5x a week
Writing 5x a week
**********
As I begin this journey I am excited and scared, encouraged and nervous. I have started so many new food and exercise plans. But it has been with the focus on me…this time I want to change that focus to prioritize living the life Poppa God wants me to live. I need to be physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy to live my full life as a wife, mom, grammy and daughter of the King.
I look forward to continuing to share my journey of my life with y’all. I want to thank those of you who have encouraged me especially the last few months as I/we’ve faced so many changes, some planned, some totally unexpected, some hard, even super hard, some easy but every step of the way my Poppa God has walked right along side me, never alone! And for that I am thankful, thankful and blessed beyond measure!
Ali ~ Authentic & Ameliorating 