reflections ~ 50 Yrs of marriage

~ Filled with Blessings and Challenges ~ Part I

As I have been writing this series of 50 Years of Marriage my mind seems to be on overload of memories coming to the surface. Not a bad thing just overwhelming ~ it’s like a movie running rampant. And what better way to keep the memories alive and available for our kids, grands, family and friends. I’m not sure how many posts this section will contain – just going to do free write and see what happens 😊I will be using where we have lived as my guide.

Blessings ~ What a blessing means in simple terms

• A good thing that helps you — like getting a job you hoped for or finding support when you need it.
• A moment that makes life easier or happier — such as good health, a safe home, or a kind friend.
• A feeling of being cared for — some people see blessings as gifts from life, the universe, or a higher power.
• A reminder to be grateful — blessings often make people pause and appreciate what they have.
• A blessing doesn’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes it’s as simple as a peaceful morning or someone holding the door when your hands are full.

My bestest ever blessing was when Ron came into my life. He loves to tell the story that the day he met me he wrote his dad a letter and said I met the girl I’m going to marry. And I have often said “I don’t know what I did to deserve Ron and how he loves and cares for me. But God knew who I needed in my life and I truly believe He brought us together and is the thread that has kept us together.

We faced challenges, just like everyone else, some were harder than others but as we look back over the last 50 years and knowing hindsight gives us other views we truly can say we are blessed beyond measure.

Finding out we were having twins and moving in with my mom was hard…we were excited about two babies but wondering how we would handle two filled our minds. We found out two weeks before the twins were born that there were two on the way. Surprised didn’t even cover the thoughts and feelings running rampant. Eight days after moving in with my mom the twins made their appearance.

I have written a lot about the twin’s birth on my blog – if you go into the archives in August of most years, the whole story is there. The death of a child is hard yet Ron and I are both able to see the good that came from such a hard situation. Over the years we have been able to walk alongside others dealing with the loss of a child. Though each situation is different some things are the same. One thing we wish we would have done was take even one picture of Royce. When the boys were born, you got your baby’s first picture on the day of hospital discharge and that never happened with Royce. In my mind I see a chunky baby with dark hair, when I look at Brandon’s newborn pictures, I see reminders of Royce and that brings me comfort as I can kind of picture what he would have looked like over the years. We encourage parents facing the ordeal of losing a child to have someone take pictures. If you never look at them that’s okay but if you want to look at them 5, 10 even 20 years later they are available.

One of the challenges we faced in the days, weeks and first few years of Royce’s death was “did we pray hard enough for him?” Everyone was praying for Jamie, he was so sick when he was born where on the other hand, Royce came out letting the world know he knew how to work his lungs, he looked healthy and all the tests they ran didn’t show anything. Getting Royce’s autopsy results helped a little ~ we found out he had major brain damage and would have led a life of physically growing normally but he would always be a newborn in his daily life. Yes, his death was hard and even now, some days talking about him is hard yet we know Poppa God knew what his life would have been like and how difficult life could be for our whole family and we believe HE protected us from that hardship.

One of the many blessings having this little guy was that he wore newborn clothes till he was 8 months old.

This was one of my favorite outfits that Jamie wore, Ron didn’t really like it and he laughed hard when I tried to put it on Brandon when he was four days old and couldn’t even snap the bottom together.

While we were stationed in Holland we received news that Pete, Ron’s dad’s cancer and returned with a vengeance. Within 24 hours of receiving the letter from Ron’s mom we were on our way to Washington state on emergency leave. To say our trip was uneventful would be a lie ~ first off we didn’t get much sleep between Soest and Seattle. On the leg of the trip between Kansas City and Seattle Jamie had his first seizure. Prior to boarding the flight Ron over heard two men talking and one said he “had just shaved his beard off.” (Remember this detail). After Jamie had his seizure, just like in the movies, one of the stewardesses asked over the loud speaker “was there a doctor on board?” A man from the back came forward, he was a childrens eye surgeon. He checked Jamie out and said what we did – give him orange juice and oxygen was the right thing but he would suggest going to the hospital once we landed in Seattle. Right before I flight landed, the gentleman sitting across from us gave us an envelope with notes of what he had observed. Found out he was a pediatrician and he said to give his notes to whoever we saw in the emergency room. When we asked him why he didn’t say anything he said we had done everything right, holding him on his side until he came out of the seizure, giving him some juice and the oxygen didn’t hurt. Okay then. John and his mom picked us up at the airport and off we went to the nearest hospital – well we chose to go to McChord AFB, remember Ron was in the military and we knew we wouldn’t be charged. We pulled up to the main gate and was directed to actually go to Madigan Army General Hospital – McChord didn’t have a hospital much less a clinic. So we went to the ER at Madigan, explained what had happened and we were told to wait until Jamie could be seen. Eventually, it seemed like hours but I don’t think it really took too long. We explained to the doctor what happened and handed him the note from the doctor on the plane. He read it and asked “did this guy have a beard? Um no, but Ron shared what he had overheard ~ found out this doctor had studied under the doctor on the plane ~ NOW Only Poppa God could have orchestrated that!!! After the exam he said he wanted to admit Jamie to the hospital ~ turns out we had been traveling with one sick little boy ~ he had pneumonia and was running a high fever. Ron explained why we had made the trip, the fact we still had three hours to go to get to Blaine and was there any way he could be treated but not admitted. He first asked
If Jamie had another seizure would we be able to get him to a doctor/hospital within 30 minutes?” Ron said it was Blaine, not the Amazon and yes we could get him to a doctor if necessary. So he prescribed some antibiotics for Jamie and headed on to Blaine.

One funny from that incident was that as John pulled onto the freeway, he asked Ron a question and Ron started to reply and fell asleep in the middle of his answer. Ron slept all the way to the driveway of his parent’s home. While in Blaine between Ron and I we wer able to earn enough money to pay for my return trip to Holland – Ron put a new room on one of his parents rental homes and I got a job at Stafholdt (the nursing home) for 20 days. Poppa God continued to open doors ~ Ron’s dad’s doctor wrote a letter to say that Ron was needed back in Washington to be close and available to help his parents as needed. Stuff like that just doesn’t happen in the military. We returned to Holland and on December 2nd, Ron submitted his paperwork for an Humanitarian reassignment. We were told that NONE had been issued in the three years, Paul, the CBPO guy had been at CNA and either way it would probably be 3 to 6 months before we would hear. Being the “over zealous 19 yr old that I was I turned to Paul and said “we will here before Christmas and the answer will be yes, how could it not be with so many people praying for us!!

On the 19th of December (yes 17 days since Ron had submitted the paperwork) we were in the PX picking up a few Christmas gifts for Jamie. As we walked in, one of the guys yelled at Ron and said “hey you need to go see Paul – he has been looking all over for you!” I started screaming ” we are going home, we are going home!” Ron went to see Paul and I finished paying for our stuff. I then walked across the parking lot and walked in and Paul said “I don’t know how you did it, but the Humanitarian Reassignment has been approved! Tears of joy and thanksgiving flowed openly. He then asked “could you do me a favor and at least wait until after January 2nd to go back? He had 30 days to get everything in order for the orders, setting up the movers and for Ron to clear the base. We said of course, we wanted to have Christmas with our friends. POPPA GOD is so good!!!! We left Holland on January 11th and began the trip back to Washington! Just one of many ways Poppa God has taken care of our needs in ways no one expected.

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Has there been a time in your life where you just knew a miracle needed to happen and God opened the doors for it to happen? This is just one of those times for us during our 50+ years of marriage!