“Mom, You Can’t Embarrass Me”

Written by Ali, 2003

It was a couple of weeks before Brandon’s 13th birthday. We (Ron, Jamie, Brandon and me) were sitting around the table eating dinner and talking about our day. Somehow the conversation turned to things that had embarrassed us. Ron shared the story of when I took my artificial eye out at Denny’s at Lake Havasu City, It was August 1976…we had been married 8 months!!

Ron shared how we had been chatting with this group of bikers who were quite drunk, they had ridden from Los Angeles to Lake Havasu through the night, while we waited for a table. The group of bikers were seated and shortly we were seated at the small table at the end of their large table. The waitress said she had to seat us there as there were no other empty tables in the restaurant. We sat down and ordered breakfast.

One of the guys, directly across the table started to tease me about being a newlywed and I was getting embarrassed. I told Ron I would be back shortly and went to the restroom and took my eye out. I walked back to the table and handed my eye to the guy at the end of the table. He commented what a cool marble and I said it wasn’t a marble. He looked a bit closer and realized it was an eyeball. He tossed it back towards me and I caught it. I went back the bathroom and washed it really good and then put it back in where it belonged.

I walked back to the table and the guy who had held my eye kept saying “don’t give her a hard time, she can scare you half to death by taking her eye out.” At that all the other guys at the table laughed at the first guy for getting scared about a little eyeball.

Jamie and Brandon laughed so hard they had tears running down their cheeks. Brandon then piped up “there is nothing you can do to embarrass me.” Ron chuckled and asked, “Is that a challenge?”

Valentines Day 1993, also known as Brandon’s 13th birthday dawned like a typical Washington day with a light rain falling. Ron, Jamie and I wished Brandon a Happy Birthday and talked about our plans for celebrating him later in the evening. We would have pizza dinner with cake and ice cream that night and on Saturday there would be a skating party with his friends.

After breakfast I drove Brandon to school. Dropping him off I wished him Happy Birthday and to have a good day! As I drove away, I chuckled to myself thinking about the activities that were planned for the. day and Brandon’s challenge that I could not embarrass him. What he didn’t know was that I had ordered flowers to be delivered to him at lunch. The plan was that in the middle of lunch period there would be an announcement made in the cafeteria that there was a special delivery for Brandon. The flowers were bright colors and arranged in a clown vase. I was sure it would embarrass him.

Later that afternoon I went to the school to take cupcakes to Brandon’s class for a class party. I had made arrangements with Ms. Mumma to bring treats to class for Brandon’s birthday. When I walked into the classroom, I asked Ms. Mumma if she knew what day it was? She replied “Valentines Day.” I said yes, it was also someone’s 13th birthday and brought treats for the students to share in Brandon’s special day. The students started screaming “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Brandon, Happy Birthday to you!” As I walked towards Brandon the girls started screaming “kiss him on the lips, kiss him on the lips!”

As I bent down, I heard this young voice say “Please don’t kiss me” and so I responded “are you embarrassed yet?” Brandon’s response was “yes, yes, yes and would you take my flowers home so I don’t have to take them on the bus?” I laughed and said yes, wished Brandon a Happy Birthday and left the classroom as the class continued yelling Happy Birthday to him.

And that was the day I embarrassed Brandon 😊😂🤣.

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Hope you enjoyed about reading about one of my special memories as a Mom.