Good hack, hack, Morning hack, hack

As I woke up sounding like I was coughing up a lung I thought of my mom…she coughed almost every morning for years ~ we know it was from her smoking. Addictions can be hard…she went to 3 in-hospital treatment centers to stop but she just couldn’t do it. UNTIL…

in July 2005 she was diagnosed with lung cancer…in just four short months she was gone from us. I’m not sure why the memories are real and front & center today unless it’s related to the anniversary of Anna, Ron’s mom. She died on this day in 2008. Once again my mind is running its special time clock of the day…Ron spending the night at her home and Kathy calling shortly after Ron got home to prepare to go to work, and she said, “She’s gone. I went to the bathroom and when I walked back into the bedroom, she was gone, she looked so peaceful.”

This leads me to the questions running through my mind:

1. What causes us to dream in the night?
2. Where do the thoughts come from to begin those dreams.
3. Why do we vividly remember some dreams and others are like a fleeting moment?
4. How come, once I realize I am in a dream and kind of wake up, I can’t go back and finish the dream?
5. And why, why am I thinking about these things before 6:00 in the morning?

I wish I had answers to those questions but they are out in lala land – staring back at me.

I like to try to figure out what a dream means and why I had it. I woke this morning, after a rough night of two wake-ups to low blood sugars…once at 12:02 ~ the alarm went off, it was 69 with an arrow down…it was on its way…so I grabbed a glucose tablet (sure wish they would taste better – it always feels like I have a chunk of chalk in my mouth and the last little miniscule pieces feel like what I imagine having sand in my mouth would be like).

Again at 3:21a the alarm went off again, it was at 64 and falling fast (two double arrows down). I just don’t get it. But I still did what I needed to do. I took two glucose tablets and popped them in my mouth. I sucked on them until they started to dissolve and then I just chewed them up as fast as I could. I fell back asleep until the alarm went off at 5:15!

I just couldn’t do it…I hit the snooze button for 15 minutes and was jolted back awake…okay, okay, I’m up. I felt almost like I had a hangover…which I haven’t had one in many, many years. I believe it was New Years weekend of 2007. Heck where does the time go? 18 years ago – and look at all that has happened over those years: 2 marriages, 5 + 1 grands, lots of traveling and lots of different jobs.

Yesterday at lunch the conversation turned to who all is retiring from PCSD in the next few months: W, M, L, and B and that’s just in our department. And then someone asked how old people were: 40 something, 50 something and then a handful from 63 and older. I was the oldest at the table at 67. The question was asked “how come you don’t retire Ali?” Well, because in a nutshell we like to eat 😊. Which led into why we did all the traveling but had to work along the way…well, again its because we like to eat.

Then I explained how Ron’s parents were going to travel when Pete retired but he died before that happened. We had had many talks over the years that we didn’t want to wait to retire because what if something happened? So we prayed about our desires: living fulltime in an RV and working in different communities, helping where we could. We have lived almost continually in an RV since Thanksgiving weekend 2006. Only while being houseparent’s and co-managers at an Independent Living Community have we not been in an RV. We don’t regret the decisions we made along the way…we did what was best for us.

Through it all, our message has always been “God’s got this, he has us in his hands, he won’t let us down.” Doesn’t mean we didn’t worry, well mostly me😥but I always returned to God hasn’t failed me yet, why would He start now?

The newest phrase/mantra I have is from a sign on Y’s desk Today is a good day to have a good day.” Which leads me to phrase I hear Danny say quite often “KFG! Make today your best day ever!”

It’s almost time…day 3 of 4 long days at work…but the hacking has stopped, God’s word has been playing in the background and I’m now ready to tackle the day. So get out there and make this your best day possible!!!