Spending Time in Prayer ~

The prayer below is taken from my 40 Days of Sugar Fasting ~ Day 31 Healing Prayer. You can check out the whole post here.

I’m posting the prayer here so that I can find it so I can remember to take everything to God in prayer. And remember I have not because I ask not

Poppa God I’ve brought us each a chair here to the beach…

my favorite place to sit and think and dream and ponder. Lord as I sit with you today, I have so many complaints and ailments: my leg hurts to walk on it, sometimes to the point of tears and wanting to collapse.  Poppa God I feel like I am always whining and complaining and YET I have much to be thankful for: a husband you have given me, who has loved me through the hard times and the good times.  Who has held me when I cried in fear, shame and guilt.  Who has encouraged me on the darkest of all days to remind me that I am never alone, even when it feels like it.  A husband who has taught me what it means to love unconditionally and to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Two sons who have turned out to be great dad’s and husbands in-spite of the mom who wasn’t the best of mom’s so much of the time when they were growing up.  They each have a beautiful family who they love and care for in so many ways, striving to raise their children in ways they could only imagine.  Two daughters-in-love who love our sons and all their children and who each give so much to our boys and grands.  

I have much to be thankful for in having a warm and safe place to live, who has been given the opportunity to travel and see so many things that have been created by You.  We (Ron & I) may not be successful to some as we don’t have a huge house, two cars and money in the bank ~ heck it often seems like we are working hard, well at least Ron is, and we don’t have much to show for it.  BUT Poppa God we have never gone hungry, we have never had to live on the street, we have never truly been alone and those are all things to give great thanks for.  

Lord, yes we have needs.  I need a new eye, I need the infection that is going on in my eye socket to heal ~ it seems to be draining more and more and I think of the money it will cost for a new eye $5000 and wonder where the heck is it going to come from?  I need my leg to quit hurting when I stand even for a few minutes or try to walk the dog.  I’m frustrated as I do my swimming and exercises and yet see no relief from the pain.  Lord our truck needs the rear brakes fixed and desperately need four new tires…all again requiring money I have not a clue where it will come from.  Poppa God those are just the big things, well they feel big to me, they seem unattainable!  

And when I think about my/our needs I begin to think I am being selfish when I look around and see friends and family dealing with life threatening cancer diagnoses. Hearing of whole towns being wiped out because of major fires, finding out a dear friend’s friend was murdered in a senseless killing and not being able to make sense of it.  Is there any sense to it?  

Poppa God I just want to scream…I can’t do this any more, whatever this is!  I want to run and hide and disappear but then I think, not really do I want to disappear – I want to see my grandchildren grow up and have healthy relationships, I want to see our sons each have a good life with their wives and to know the joy of becoming a grandparent.  Because everyone knows the best job is being a Grammy and a Grandpa!!!  

Poppa God I feel like I could go on and on with what I think I need and what I want but the bottom line is that I just want to love and be loved, to not feel like every day is a struggle and to be able to help and bring joy to others.  So Poppa God I claim boldly my life verse today ~ 

Thank you Poppa God for letting me whine and cry and being able to stand strong in my faith, even when I don’t feel I have that faith, that You are in control and to remember that even though at times I feel alone…I am truly not.  Now be with me Lord as I prepare Ron’s lunch for work, pick up the grandsons from school and enjoy their chatter about their school day.  And do all the things I think I need to do, well just because I can because all things are possible with God’s help.  Amen!