Author: Ali & Ron

A few years back my word for the year was FLEXIBLE! This trip has had lots of opportunities for us to be flexible and I am so thankful that the Ali of today is nothing like the Ali of the early 2000’s…quick to anger and angry at world. Today I give thanks for God’s love and patience…not only the patience He has with me but with the patience I have for myself and for and with others.

When we left Shallotte, NC on Sunday morning our plan was to go to The Oaks of Point South in SC, just north of Savannah, GA. And that’s just what we did. But leaving Shallotte had it’s own issues…our electric jack for the trailer got bent and then it died. Fortunately Ron was able to get the jack in the up position so we could drive without any issues. But it did leave us wondering about the jack.

Arriving at The Oaks and closer examination Ron figured out we needed to replace the jack. It had rained most of the day. In fact, at one point we had to pull off into a rest area and wait out the 30 minute thunderstorm. Again, God provided just what we needed…a rest area was right there…so off we pulled.

After waiting about 30 minutes we got back on the road and arrived at our designated campground around 4 pm. We got the power hooked up, ate some dinner, watched some TV and went to bed about 10:30 to the sound of rain beating on the roof ~ we never tire of that sound.

Monday morning when I woke up it was still raining or raining again. I decided to talk to Ron about the jack situation…after much discussion we decided to make a change in our plans…it would probably take a couple of hours to unhook, meaning we would have to spend about the same amount of time trying to hook up so we decided to just keep on going on our trip…we will plan a trip to Savannah on one of our weeks off (remember that’s why we like our schedule…we love being able to work 7 days on and then having 7 days to travel and do stuff!). So we got on the road about 11am.

Stopped just outside of Savannah at Camping World, bought a new electric jack and a few things for the grandsons! And got back on the road. Again, giving thanks to the Lord that he provides for all our needs in ways we could never expect. There used to be a time that I would be freaking out, wondering if we had the money to pay for whatever repairs we had to make…not this time…we have the money and no stress was happening…even $250 later.

Continued on our way to Florida. Enjoyed the scenery, well what we could see…still lots of rain happening. I don’t know if you have ever towed a vehicle but it does consist of some stress so we started talking about stopping along the way somewhere…then we decided to just find a hotel where we would have room to park the truck/trailer…made some reservations and stopped for the night about 6:00. We stayed at Best Western in Waldo, FL…the hotel was clean and the ac worked great!!! We just took it easy for the night. In fact I think I was asleep before 8pm!!!

This morning we got on the road about 9:45…only having 142 miles to go to Bethesda RV Park in Brandon, FL.

Just as we were about ready to get on I75 I dropped my crochet hook on the floor of the truck. Ron, being the bestest hubby asked if I wanted him to pull over so I could get it ~ YES, that would be great. There was a Pilot gas station so we pulled in and pulled around to the back. Went in and used the restroom, talked to a driver as we were crossing the parking lot, each of us sharing how Good God Is!!! Him driving his brand new pretty gold truck that he was able to purchase just a month ago!!! And us how the Lord just protects us every step of the way and giving us great opportunities to serve Him.

As we made our way to the truck I thought one of the tires looked flat! Yep…well we are prepared, we have two spares. And a guy who was parked next to us offered us his impact wrench and also a bearing ~ he said the back tire, behind the flat tire, looked like the bearing was going out!! And he gave us one out of the back of his truck!!!! He left with a sweet lady but as he was leaving he told me the truck was unlocked, use the tools he had in the backseat and whatever supplies we needed that he had in the back of his truck were ours for the taking. Just lock his truck when we pull out!!!! God is so Good and knows what we need before we even know!!!!

It’s a nice sunny day today

Ron knows how to change the tire, has the tools necessary and we have the supplies, we are in a HUGE truck parking lot, not stuck on the side of the freeway somewhere, out of harms way!!!

My heart is full, I know I am loved and taken care of by God each and every day and today He has shown that over and over.

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How has God shown you His love today?

Today is prep day for our move tomorrow and what am I doing? Sleeping in, checking out Facebook, ate some yogurt & granola and now writing a blog post while listening to one of my crime shows…Ron didn’t sleep well last night so he was taking a nap and now he is showering and shaving to get ready to go have lunch with our Stalker Friends, Jen & Lee (spoken with a smile and I know they understand the joke). And I just don’t feel like packing up some stuff…so here I sit, listening to one of my crime shows and writing.

I will do the inside prep work later this afternoon after we get home from lunch. It should take me about an hour and a half to put the knick knacks up, stow the plants in the tub and get stuff hunkered down. Leaving just needing to pull in the slide, pack the ice chest with water & ice for the drive tomorrow and disconnect the power while Ron does the last of the outside stuff: hanging chairs on the ladder, emptying the tanks and then hooking up the trailer. Usually takes us about an hour to do all the outside stuff before being ready to pull out. Our plan is to get up at 8 and be on the road by 10.

Our drive tomorrow is about 215 miles, GPS says about 4 hours so we anticipate it will take us about 6…we keep the speed right at 55mph on highways but since we prefer to drive the backroads it takes us a bit longer. But that’s okay…we aren’t in a rush, just like to get set up before it gets dark. We will be staying at The Oaks of Point South, a park within our Thousand Trails membership. We will be there Sunday and Monday nights. On Monday, we plan to go into Savannah, GA for the day.

We are thinking of taking a buggy ride or catch the trolley to see the town and then do some walking around. Oh and we were told by cousin Julie that we MUST go to the candy store on River Street and grab some pizza at the hotel by the ferry shuttle stop…makes me think it’s going to be a high calorie day!!!

Tuesday we plan to drive a bit longer but will take off earlier than Sunday…we are going to Orlando TT for two nights and then on Thursday we will make our way to Bethesda RV Park where we plan on staying for a month or two while we look for a long term RV park with some amenities…to use on our off weeks from work.

We are excited about our upcoming move and a bit nervous as we learn about a new company, meet new kids, get some refresher training and continue our journey as Home Parents, planting seeds in children’s lives. And of course getting to spend time with our Florida family!!! Can’t wait for all those Grammy hugs!!!

Does the title of today’s post give you any ideas???

If you guessed “the Workentin’s are on the move again?” you are correct!!

And I’m sure y’all have lots of questions…so let’s see if I can answer them before you ask ~

Ron explained to our co~worker (he hates to be called boss) that we (Ron and I AND Providence Home) are like two gears trying to work together. One gear has 14 teeth and one has 15 teeth and they are just not meshing together quite like they should. Neither gear is bad or wrong, they are just not working as they should. Again, nothing bad has happened, we just don’t feel we are doing exactly what the Lord has called us to do.

On our last trip to Florida to spend a few days with Brandon and his family we realized how much we miss being near and involved with their family and getting and giving Grammy hugs!!! And as we always do while traveling we had some great conversations. I shared with Ron how I felt like I couldn’t be ALL of me here at Providence Home…I love to have the kids helping in the kitchen, learning how to cook and trying new recipes. One thing we have found is that if the kids are able to help prepare the meals they are more likely to try new foods. As well it is a great life skill ~ being able to cook for yourself! Ron mentioned that he often feels like he has nothing to do ~ you can only mow the lawn so often, there is no workshop, no animals to care for and light bulbs only burn out once in awhile so don’t need to be changed every day. About that time in our conversation we drove pass a sign that said “Rodeheaver Boys Ranch” and so we checked them out online and talked about possibly looking for a new position in a setting more like BlueBonnet Youth Ranch.

Providence Home is a great place and we provide a necessary service for kids who need a short term, emergency placement but these kids don’t need a mama or a papa and that’s what we love to do. So we started praying about what should we do. Some of you may wonder how we find places to be Home Parents…we use the House Parent.net website to see what positions are out there. We have a few “must haves” in our search on where to work…the two biggies are health care insurance and working a 7 day on/7 day off schedule. And specifically we wanted to stay on the east coast (we have lots of places to check out) and no farther away then we already are from Land O’ Lakes, FL where Brandon and his family live.

Thus began the search for a new place to plant some seeds…we did contact Rodeheaver Boys Ranch as well as a couple of other places: St. Augustine Youth Services in St. Augustine, FL and A Kid’s Place in Brandon, FL (I smile every time I say that name because last time we were in Land O’Lakes, Ron saw that Brandon, FL was not too far from where Danalyn and Brandon live and had said…we need to visit Brandon, FL!)

Phone calls and emails commenced between the two agencies and then a zoom interview and then a job offer was presented to us from A Kid’s Place. A little about them, they are only about 31 miles from where Danalyn, Brandon and the little boys live! That means we get to go to football games, basketball games and spend more time being actively involved in their lives…which we always enjoy!

The set up at A Kid’s Place (AKP) is very similar to BlueBonnet Youth Ranch in that most of the kids are there for a long term placement, have sibling groups and have the 7 day on/7 day off schedule that we have come to enjoy. There are five cottages onsite, 10 sets of home parents with 5 sets working each week + YCW (Youth Care Workers) assigned to each cottage so there is always help with the children. We will once again live onsite while we are working and we found a sweet little campground which is only about 8 miles from AKP where we will park our little home on wheels for our off time. Though we expect like we have been doing here in NC that we will be doing a lot of traveling on our off time checking out places we have never been, seeing family and friends ~ now that traveling is opening up again and just enjoying our life wherever the Lord plants us.

Our last day here at Providence Home is June 4th. On Saturday, June 5th we will have lunch and fellowship with our “stalker” friends, Jen & Lee (there is a story there) and then begin our travels to Florida on Sunday, June 6th. We will first be going to Savannah, GA for two nights and then onto Orlando, FL for two nights and then arrive in Brandon, FL at Bethesda RV Park on Thursday, June 10th. Our tentative first day at AKP is Monday, June 14.

The word we have shared a lot this past week has been AMBIVALENT – we are excited for this new adventure, like a friend mentioned to me…time to sow more seeds in a new location ~ we may never know the impact we have made on the kids we have cared for or the people we have met but we know our garden has grown immensely. We are definitely excited to be closer to family or at least part of our family and yet there is sadness as we leave NC. We have met some wonderful people and look forward to continuing those relationships and love being near the beach so we are sure we will be back to visit as the Lord opens doors.

Blessings to each of you who has traveled this crazy journey with us!! We look forward to sharing more of our lives, what we do and who we meet with y’all!!

Have a beautiful day!!!

I’ve had a weird few days…not sleeping well, lots on my mind, anxiety about one of our girls who went missing for 5 days ~ thankfully she has been found and is now in a safe place…oh what I would give to be able to give her a hug and let her know things will be okay. It’s been quite an emotional roller coaster as well with the passing of Ron’s Uncle Merv and once again reminded that our days are numbered. Lots of memories have been flooding my mind ~ memories of time with family and missing some family times. Being thankful for the family in my life…birth family, family by marriage and the family that God has blessed me with.

I have to be careful when the memories are running as it is easy to go down the path of “what if?? what could I have done differently in different relationships?? is there anything else I can do to build up old relationships or strengthen new ones???”

But I just can’t seem to shut my brain off. One part of my brain says “hey lady, you need to get some sleep” the other part is saying “what if you do XYZ? or how about ABC? or even KLM?” and the thoughts just keep running and jumping, twisting and turning.

After getting about 3.5 hours of sleep last night I finally got up. I made my way downstairs and opened my laptop and Bible…

First thing to come up was my daily devotional from FaithGateway about Unswerving Authenticity and Our Daily Bread titled Walk, Don’t Run…a double whammy to get my thoughts really flowing.

Authenticity…once I was told that was what someone liked about me…I was authentic…and that has stayed with me all these years. Thanks Benjamin for sharing with me. When I was a child I used to pretend to be this or that I did this and as my walk with the Lord progressed I found I just wanted to be true, true to me, to my husband, and to others and I wanted to teach and be an example of being authentic to those who came into my life.

“Real isn’t how you were made. It’s a thing that happens to you,” said the toy horse. “When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.”

This old toy horse in Margery Williams’s classic children’s story The Velveteen Rabbit not only squarely identifies the second essential step to health and wholeness, but wisely notes that it is the result of being loved.

I have thought about the little toy horse many times in my life and have to totally agree…when we are loved, when I am loved is what life is all about…needing and wanting to be loved. And when I am loved I can be who I truly am.

This past year I have questioned myself many times over ~ am I doing what the Lord would have me to do? am I the wife to Ron that the Lord would want me to be, what about being a Mom and Grammy, being Mama Ali to our littles and then to the teens who have come and gone in our lives…and maybe I will continue to question myself about just this. And maybe that’s a good thing because it keeps me from getting stale and stagnant.

Another quote from my devotion

“Authenticity is all about being rather than doing.”

Oh how I struggled with just BEING! I remember being so sick with pneumonia that I couldn’t get off the couch and that was after a week in the hospital and I was talking or more like crying with Pastor Charles on the phone and he said to me “just BE!” I didn’t even know wha that meant…to just be. At that time of my life I didn’t feel I was worthy to be loved or even liked if I wasn’t doing…

I have learned to BE ~ and Paul tells us in Philipians 4:11-13

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

just what that means: to be content with what we have and in whatever circumstance or situation I find myself in to be content…doesn’t mean I have to like it, doesn’t mean it is the best thing going, but to be content and remember that God is in control.

Continuing the them of BEing and content in my circumstances

that I am to act justly, love with mercy and kindness and to walk humbly (Micah 6:6-8). If am following the directions of the Lord than I will be at peace in all circumstances.

And so I continue my day today, though I am tired I know I am loved, I know that the love that God has shown me I am able to show the children in our care and to remind them that though at times our lives feel like one giant storm we are never alone and we don’t walk through the storm alone and that if the storm can’t be calmed how we think it should be calmed, God will walk through the storm with me/them and though it may be storming all around me I can have the peace of the Lord within me.

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My question to you today is

How do you calm your raging storms?
How do you help yourself fall asleep when it seems to be alluding you?
Do you have a favorite verse you cling to in difficult times?

The title of my devotion today…immediately I thought about a time in my life where all I could see was the darkness or negativity…ALL the TIME! Thinking back to that time I am surprised that I survived, not only survived but thrived. I still have dark days but nothing like in the 80’s, 90’s and 2000’s ~ so many things were going on with me during that time that every day seemed like a horrible day (well in my memory anyway).

Even though I know not all the days in those 30 years were filled with darkness many of them were. And today I am so thankful for the light that is in my life, my heart and my being.

The scripture reference for today is Isaiah 9:2-6

Darkness is disorienting and leads to negativity but focusing on God’s Word and claiming His promises brings so much light in my life.

My bestie, Dee posted a link today on Facebook, 3 Ways I’m Learning Limitations as Someone With Chronic Illness and the article really spoke to me…1) learning to say No, 2) being loose with plans (being flexible), and 3)everything is morally neutral…all things I have come to learn and am still learning today. And how this article goes along with my devotion today:

That I can have peace even in the midst of both good and bad times, hard and easy times, when we are abounding or struggling in ANY situation or circumstance.

This past week has had some difficult times: learning our sweet Uncle Merv went home to Jesus, no less than on Anne’s (Ron’s mom) birthday ~ what a great gift for her ~ to see her brother who she hadn’t seen in 13 years!!! What a reunion that must have been!!! Finding out one of our girls ran away from care ~ no one has heard from her (five days as of today) and all we can do is pray that no matter where she is or who she is with that she is safe.

Yet the week had lots of sweet times: seeing our friends Barb & Roy after 3 years!!! So glad to spend time with them, laugh and cry together, hear their sweet singing and meet new friends! And seeing part of this beautiful country where we had never been. Seeing where history took place…there is just something special walking on ground where others gave their lives for our freedoms ~ something we should never forget.

Good news came our way as well ~ finding out there are no signs of diabetes in my eye. And only having one eye that works that is GREAT news!!!

Another blessing ~ reconnecting with old friends!! And seeing how the Lord has been working in their lives over the past 40+ years!!! Watching how the Lord opens and closes doors in ways no one expected. And hearing that one of the young girls we cared for in the past is graduating this year ~ what an accomplishment for her!! Excited to see where the Lord takes her in the days to come!!!

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How do you deal with darkness in your life?
Do you ever look back to see where you’ve been and give thanks for where you are today?

I saw a question someone posted on Facebook the other day ~
“Would you go back to high school and live your life over?”
My first thought was NO Way!!! but then I thought if I had the wisdom of the past 45 years that I could take back with me then maybe but then again maybe not.

I will just do what I keep trying to do now ~

Live my life to the fullest,
Extending grace and mercy
Reminding myself no one is perfect
And I just need to keep doing what the Lord has called me to do

Love one another!!! Just as He loves me!!!

A loaded question for sure!!! It seems I am constantly working on myself and maybe that is a good thing. As I have committed to copying my journals from paper to the computer it has allowed me to reflect on things. The most recent writings have been from July and August 2016 ~ a big change in our lives. We lost one job due to restructuring of the company, got hired by another, had a quick trip to Texas and was able to spend almost two weeks in Blaine.

I had some great time with my bestie, Dee, good friends Jim & Mary, great discussions with Pastor Charles as well as time to see all of our grands!! And then we moved to Texas for the next job which was as Home Parents at Methodist Children’s Home/Boys Ranch.

Who would have ever thought that becoming House Parents would allow us the second chance at parenting? And eventually to girls.

In response to the question above I want to continue to learn how to extend grace to myself that I have learned to give to others. And to continue to learn to make good choices about eating and other aspects of my health.

Ron and I recently just joined up on MyFitnessPal.com. My user name is Ali1257 and Ron’s is RonbestPapa. Send us a request if you want to join us on our journey of getting healthier. One thing we like about this app is that we can scan bar codes and pictures of what we are eating to make it easier to choose the right food items.

Another thing I continue to work on is my relationships with people and to be more intentional. I think this is an ongoing project that I will continue throughout the rest of my life. I try to be more intentional with my time, be in the moment when I am with people whether chatting via text, on the phone or in person.

And then the thought came to “I am constantly working on myself ~ why is that ~ because I am not perfect!!! What a concept…I say that while laughing. I have known for a long time I am not perfect by any means and all I can do is make better choices today than I made yesterday. One way of doing that is not dwelling the past but focusing on today and looking to the future for the opportunities to be and do what the Lord has called me to … and that is to love one another. And realizing that loving one another may look different with different people.

I think about my relationship with my sister Joanie and I usually do think about her this time of the year as I think about my sister Kathy, who on the 12th of this month would have been 67. And how she has been gone from this world for almost 13 years and I think about all the conversations Kathy and I had about Joanie. How sad I am that she has cut off all communication with me, Ron and our boys as well as her not knowing our grandchildren. And with it being Mother’s Day I think about my mom and how sad she would be to know that her only two girls left don’t even know what the other is doing. Or that they don’t speak to each other. Oh how I wish it was different.

I am thankful though for the relationship with my niece, Christi, Kathy’s daughter. We may not see each other often but we text and communicate through Facebook and it excites me to see her growing into a beautiful young woman who I know her mama would be proud.

Another benefit of rewriting my journals to the computer is the memories that come flooding back of the many friends, who I like to call framily (you know more than friends but not blood family). One pleasant memory I was reminded of was when we spent a week in our Pastor’s home, helping out with the dogs, seeing lots of friends in Blaine and some great conversation with Pastor Charles…at that time, we had been friends for 15 years and reflected on how God became such an integral part of our lives and how we learned to really lean on Him and trust Him and now 5 years later we have even more examples of how the Lord has guided us and taken care of us.

And all the places we could never have imagined seeing but here we are ~ moved clear across the US from one coast to the other. The moves haven’t always been easy but looking back we can see how the Lord just kept opening doors when some were closing and brought people into our lives at just the right moment. And it all just shows me that

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I hope that whatever you are doing today and whoever you are with that you too feel blessed!

Life happens, work happens, swollen feet happen and goals get tossed in the wind.

I have typed up three pages of my journals…from 2016. It has surprised me to see that some of the issues I was dealing with then are some of the same issues I seem to be struggling with today. Life is so very different as we are now Home Parents to teens then we were co-managers of a 55+ community but in so many ways so very similar.

A question that keeps coming up in conversation with Ron and a few others leaves me wondering something yet I hesitate to put it out there. The other day I posted something on Facebook that I thought was kind of funny and yet sad…and got quite a bit of negative comments…so I did what I have been doing a lot of lately…deleted it. Said nothing. Just deleted it.

But my question keeps coming up…it has to do with the vaccine, yes the Covid one. The issue that seems to cause such division between people.

My question is “why is it any one’s business whether or not you or I get the vaccine?” I mean, if you have a colonoscopy do you tell your friends and perfect strangers on Facebook? I don’t want to argue, I am just curious.

Ron and I have heard talk about airlines going to ask for proof that someone has the vaccine before they fly…is that really anyone’s business? What about the HIPPA laws? I know I was admitted to the hospital the day HIPPA went into effect and my boss had to call me on my cell phone to reach me because the hospital wouldn’t even tell him if I was in the hospital or not.

I think about our boys and when they were little and got their vaccinations…I didn’t advertise to anyone when they got them. I am sure people would be surprised to hear that Jamie didn’t even begin getting vaccinations till he was 4 months old…most babies start getting shots at 2 months…but really who’s business is it?

Well I’m sure I have rattled some cages with my questions and tomorrow is our Tuesday ~ extra busy as we are going to be traveling after we get off work…it’s time to go get some more Grammy hugs!!! So I will close for now.

I read the Writing Prompt for today and started laughing…why you ask? Because my focus for the last day and a half has been on me! Yesterday I had a dentist appointment to get a tooth pulled ~ definitely not something fun but a necessity. My appointment was for 2:00 and I was done by 2:29. The dentist said the tooth did not splinter at all which is what he was afraid of due to the old filling that had broken off. Thank you Jesus for an easy extraction.

And then with a stop at Walmart ~ Ron went in and I stayed in the truck and then home. I was up for about an hour, laid down and slept for almost 4 hours ~ I think because of a combination of stress and Lorazepam. Whatever it was, it worked.

Was up for about an hour, ate some jello and some pudding. Tasted good but hard on the emotions after two doctor appointments where it was stressed I MUST LOSE SOME WEIGHT! But it is what it is and this tooth pain/recovery won’t last forever. I went back to bed about 8:30 last night and slept till 9:30 this morning.

Ran some errands with Ron and then back to the trailer. Ate some oatmeal and cottage cheese (not together 🙂 ) and was feeling grumpy…my

is driving me nuts but the energy is just not there to clean it up. So I took another nap ~ yep slept for another 2 hours.

Got up and thought I would do some writing beginning with today’s writing prompt! And laughed since my focus the last 24 hours + have been on me…but I doubt that is what the person meant.

I am fortunate with our work schedule that I do have a lot of free time for just me or just us. Along these lines I think of the Daily goals I have set for myself. Walk twice a day, and write two different things. Yesterday I did get for one walk. Today has been one walk and one writing session. As I have mentioned before, I am trying to extend myself the grace that I give to others. So I am doing what I can and what is working for me. And that is all part of remaining healthy ~ emotionally and physically.

Thinking out of the box…a day for me would include sleeping in, a walk along the beach, eating a nice healthy lunch full of tasty vegetables: thinking stuffed mushrooms, celery and carrots with tzatziki sauce, cheese, meat slices and crackers, then time writing and crocheting and watching some TV shows with the hubs! My second day would be a day at Woods with my Bestie!!!

It’s been such a long time and yet is needed so much! We keep reminding ourselves that all in God’s time!!!

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What does a day just for you look like?

Ouchie!!! Oh how this hits so close to home. I have been reminded a lot lately that I am quick to extend Grace and Mercy to others but not so much to myself. Ouchie!!!

After a difficult day today I am reminded that I can only do what I can do…not what others say or do. Thank you Lord for this GIANT reminder to love myself the way I love others and how I want to be loved!

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Today I have completed my tasks on my To Do List…I made all my scheduled appointments, I went for a walk with my hubby, and I wrote/transcribed two pages from my journal and am doing my Daily Writing Prompt for the day!

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Part of my difficult day was being faced with a BIG DOSE of reality from my doctor. Hey I know I’m overweight and I know I don’t always make good food choices. But sitting in the doctor’s office today with

which seemed to have come out of nowhere on Sunday and doesn’t seem to be letting up I knew I needed to get it checked out. Thus I found myself sitting in the doctor’s office…answering questions: yes I have had a heart attack, yes I tend to eat a lot of salt and not always sea salt, I know I don’t drink enough water and definitely don’t get the exercise that I KNOW I SHOULD BE DOING! But the kicker for me was the fact I had gained 12.5 lbs since March 3rd!!! That is what scares me.

I don’t often talk about my sister, Kathy ~ she died in September 2008 at the age of 54, she was quite overweight. We didn’t have the best of relationships all the time but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she loved me and had my back on the darkest of days BUT I don’t want to die in my sleep as she did, so overweight that the coroner said the family shouldn’t see her in the state her body was in…and I have always THOUGHT in my head that if my weight got to 250.1 lbs. I would die in my sleep…250 lbs. has always been the number that I wanted to avoid…but today I reality hit me in the face when the number was about that number!!! Reality hit me hard in the face.

And I know I must do something, that no one else can do it for me. So after having a heart~to~heart with Ron we made our way to the grocery store. Why oh why does eating healthy have to be so damn expensive! I am happy to say (pay myself on the back again) we only bought fresh fruit, fresh veggies, some dairy products and a little meat…no potatoes, no cookies, no candy and no ice cream!!!

Our dinner this evening:

And I added another reminder to take both a morning and evening walk! The doctor would like me (us) to walk for 10 to 15 minutes after every meal…but I know this will be a big change for me (us) and I know me, I have to set goals that I know I can keep or else I will FAIL ~ and this is not an option!! So for now, walking twice a day is on my To Do List…

~ To take a morning walk
~ To write/transcribe a page a day from my old journals
~ To write a post on my blog
~ To take an evening walk

And in meeting one of my tasks from today…God showed me in so many ways that He will continue to love, nurture and care for me. Below is part of what I transcribed from my journal this evening:

3.13.16

God will breathe into me if I stay close and seek Him.  Lord give me renewed strength today ~ to trust in you and to seek your assistance in whatever I do.

Exodus 18:14-24 “We cannot do this journey on our own.  Let others share our burdens.  Where two or more are gathered God is with us.  Don’t struggle alone!

It’s okay to delegate work, we don’t have to do everything on our own.  Remember it’s okay to take a breather to step away and allow others to help out. 

Balance that’s what I need!!

         B ~ Believe in God; He is always there

         A ~ Allow others to assist me, I don’t have to do it alone

         L ~ Lean on God, He is strong enough for everything

         A ~ Align myself with God’s teachings

         N ~ Never doubt God’s presence or abilities

         C ~ Cling tightly to God’s Word

         E ~ Encourage one another

Lord help me to find BALANCE in my life!

How awesome is that…reminding to share my burdens, stay in the Word and that God loves me today just like he loved me five years ago and I know he will continue to love me in the days to come!!!

I often mention “God Winks” well for me today, this was a God Wave!!! And so I am extending grace and mercy to myself ~ I am not where I want to be physically but it is what it is and today I made good choices! And that is what matters.

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What good choice did you make today?

Taking a leap of faith ~ how this goes along with the Daily Bible Verse that hit’s my email each day. Today it was

Faith & Trust seem to go hand in hand. In reply to the question “what is something that scares me a little but I want to do it anyway?”

First thing that comes to mind is to write a book. I feel like the Lord has worked so many miracles in my life that I need to share them with others. He has healed me from uncontrollable anger and parenting struggles that made be believe I was the worst mother in the world. He has shown me how to

even in the midst of some difficult and scary times. I wrote and had published an article called “Cycle of Pain, Cycle of Hope” and I would like to use that article as the basis of my book. I have kept all my journals from over the years just so I can do that.

I believe the first step in getting that book written is to take my handwritten journals and put them on the computer. My

is there but the little BIG tapes that keep running through my head say

~ who would want to read your book?
~ what makes you think you could write a book?
~ what makes you think you are so special that what you have to say is important?

While sitting here writing I think this fear/roadblock is no different then other roadblocks that have gotten in my way. Like calling myself lazy and fat…YET I have faithfully walked for the last 5 days!! I may not notice any change in my weight or how I’m physically feeling but emotionally I know the walking has helped me emotionally to not feel so down and hopeless!!!

So as I challenged myself and put it out there for others to hold me accountable I think I need to do the same thing with my writing of my book…just start with one journal, one page of the journal and transfer it to my laptop. One page per day is a great goal!!! Done!! I now have three daily reminders on my calendar:

~ Take a Walk!
~ Complete another Day of the Daily Writing Prompts!
~ Transcribe ONE page of my journals to the computer!

How do you keep yourself challenged?
What are some steps you have used to conquer a fear?

My girlfriend Carolyn and I started an online support group on Facebook to get healthy. It’s called R3 With Friends. It is a place where we welcome friends and family (and friends of friends) to our little group which is intended to be encouraging and supportive along our journey to becoming healthier. This is based upon the R3 Weight Loss Plan. R3 stands for Reset, Reintroduce, Real Life. How I like to look at it is ~ Reset ~ every day I have a choice to eat healthy, Reintroduce ~ put something in my life today that is a positive thing (this week I have been focusing on walking for 30 minutes a day) and Real Life ~ means life happens, things don’t always go the way I think they should but I can learn how to deal with things in a healthy manner. I am personally using this group to encourage others ~ something I love to do! and to hold myself accountable to reach my daily goals!

If you would like to be a member of this group or have any questions, please let me know either in the comments or through a private message or email.